“You insult the House of Misida! I am the most beautiful woman in my lands! I—“
I looked at the guards. Lady Erisa was immediately grabbed, a large hand smothering her mouth, and she was dragged out.
“Jameson, please tell them to put her in the dungeons for a week before she is allowed home. In future, I can’t allow an insult to my character, nor my time to be wasted in such a way.”
“Yes, my lord.”
Jameson passed the order to a page and then flew back to his herald’s post. “Mistress Rutha, of—“
“She isn’t even a noble? I think I deserve better than that.”
Mistress Rutha, a slender young woman with black wings, had already learned the lesson of Lady Erisa. I suppose she didn’t want to spend any time in my dungeon. She was shown out before I knew anything more about her.
Still, I realized, as Uram looked at me with his mouth open in aggravation, that I had to indulge some of these women.
“Lady Heath, descendant of Hades, bringer of shadows…”
Lady Heath entered in smoky black robes with a staff and three ravens accompanying her, one on each shoulder and another perched on the staff. Ah…a crazy bird lady, I thought. Next. But Uram was satisfied that I let her curtsey to me and introduce herself and show off some gloom spells.
Well, at least it was somewhat entertaining, if I stopped thinking of the women as future brides. All of them seemed instantly pathetic simply in the fact that they had traveled all the way here hoping to marry me, for no other reason than that I was a powerful high demon. If they were worth anything, shouldn’t they have fallen in love already?
I think we were somewhere around the fourteenth and fifteenth women, a pair of succubi sisters who presented themselves as a pair. One was a musician and the other a dancer, and they attempted to entertain me with the hurdy gurdy and a sensual dance with scarves that were artfully whisked to and fro to reveal teasing bits.
“My lord, thank you for receiving us in your beautiful castle. You are surely the most handsome man we have ever laid eyes on, and we have laid eyes upon many… I hope our performance pleased you.”
“It was quite ridiculous to my eyes,” I said. “So much wriggling around and it seemed to operate on the conceit that I have never seen a nude woman before and would be titillated by the prospect. I am nine hundred years old. You’ll have to do better than that.”
She looked shocked, although I’m not sure why, since she had surely heard my previous comments to all the other dull candidates put before me.
“Perhaps we should have an intermission before the next group,” Uram said.
“Fine. I would like some lunch,” I said.
Uram shut the heavy doors, leaving the rest of the women outside. He glared at me. “Those were the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Well, you are just a mortal,” I said. “I don’t guess you have really seen that many.”
“What are you looking for!?”
I shrugged. “I want lunch, I said. Go to the kitchens and fetch it.”
Uram looked at me like he could have wept for the women I was wasting. I didn’t really care.
“Lunch, now,” I said.
“Gyeehh!” He threw out his hands.
“I could throw you in the dungeon as well if you wish,” I said.
He looked interested.
“Not with Lady Erisa,” I said. “An entirely different wing of the dungeon. You can live on gruel and the guard can whip you at his leisure. And he does enjoy a casual whipping, doesn’t he?”
“I apologize if you were insulted, my lord,” he said.
“I will admit, it is hard to take offense at the ravings of a creature as despicable as yourself,” I said. “So you are forgiven.”
He went to fetch my lunch. It was a mere sandwich. Apparently my cook felt he could simply take the day off while I reviewed these prospective brides. I would demand he roast and stuff a pheasant inside of a whole boar tomorrow. One could not acquire a reputation for being a gentle master.
It was dark outside by the time I was done with all of the women who had come from far and wide, some of them traveling for weeks, in the hopes of winning my favor, and the very idea of it just annoyed me.
“So…not a one had any appeal to you, my lord?” Uram said.
I just raised an eyebrow at him. “Never do that again.”
“It’s just that you were the one who said it was time.”
“No. I was thinking aloud and you overstepped your position. I have never seen such a ridiculous display of fawning and preening and prancing from anyone. I think I would rather cook them for dinner than marry them.”
Uram looked at me almost like he felt sorry for me, which was a dangerous game for him to play. My blood began to simmer. He noticed my temper and bowed his head. Uram was not especially handsome himself, and he was a short man even compared to my eight feet of height. He was wiry, scruffy, middle-aged, I supposed, with sly brown eyes. When I devoured his soul he was residing in a wizard market town somewhere at the edge of a desert. Like all the poor souls I devoured, he was not worthy of much more than my disdain; a streetwise but unlearned fellow who was happy enough to take advantage of everyone who crossed his path until I made him mine and put an end to all of that.
Still, he had been with me some thirty years now, a respectable length for a human servant. “My lord,” he said. “Didn’t your father say that you would know when it was time? And don’t you think—“
“I’m sure I know my own thoughts much better than you do,” I hissed, putting a hand around his neck. “Tread carefully, Uram.”
“I apologize, my lord.”
“Listen to me carefully. I don’t want a wife. I don’t want to see a ridiculous parade of whores cross my threshold ever again. And I will outlive you by hundreds of years. An heir is not necessary anytime soon. My life is extremely satisfying. Please put my new suit away carefully for tomorrow, as I think I will go fuck all the nymphs in the forest tomorrow.”
I wasn’t sure why I even said that. I had no interest in actually doing it. I suppose I was trying to prove my virility and lust for life to my own pathetic servant.
Shameful.
If I were really the demon I aspired to be, I supposed I would take great pleasure in a nymph orgy tonight, and then I would screw the maids while I was at it. Instead, I feared I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Still, it would give me an excuse for a long ride through the swamp. Perhaps I would make camp somewhere completely alone for one night. Maybe that would clear my head. The roasted boar could wait until I got back. At least a good solitary hunting trip would keep every day from feeling entirely the same.
Chapter Two
Jenny
For twenty years, my life had been the same. I woke up in Jenny’s room, dressed in Jenny’s clothes, and became Jenny.
Well, not that they were actually Jenny’s clothes, because I had grown out of those a long time ago, but I conjured new ones that looked just the same. I had annoyingly large breasts these days that didn’t look quite right in the girlish dresses, but I knew I couldn’t dress any other way. I brushed my hair and swept it back with a ribbon so it wouldn’t get in the way of my cooking and cleaning. Then I looked out my window that faced the bay. It was the only time I got to see the wider world until evening.