I heard her sniffle. It was obviously something she had been pushing down for some time.
“No one from my life thinks that I have any value. I’m so worthless, in fact, that they can’t be bothered to check up on me. But you? Now you of all people show back up after calling me worthless and tell me that they’re all wrong. Who am I supposed to believe?” She clenched her fists at her sides, shaking her head as we walked under the twinkling light-laden apple trees.
“You don’t have to believe anyone,” I heard himself say.
That weirdly familiar voice in my head was speaking without permission. Where did this come from all of a sudden?
“The only person you have to believe in is yourself. If you feel you have worth, then you do, and you just have to find the right people who see that worth in you. You shouldn’t conform to what other people want,” I said, squeezing her hand gently and stroking it with my fingers. I hoped to provide her more comfort.
“That’s probably the nicest and wisest thing you’ve ever said to me.” She sniffled again and gave a breathy laugh. “But you’re right. I do value myself a lot, and I feel like I have a lot of worth. That’s why I wanted to come here—to prove that I can be who I am and still be successful. I don’t have to choose between being who my family wants me to be or being some homeless bum. I am me, and that’s good enough.” Lilly gave me a decisive nod, confirming her words to herself.
I smiled and gave her a little nod, as well. “There you go, so don’t even let those people drag you down. You are a bright light all on your own, and I am just thankful you’ve let me enjoy your glow a little bit.”
That made her blush, and a smile split my face from ear to ear. By that point, we had reached the end of the orchard. Evening cicadas were roaring as loudly as a full river, and the air smelled like tree bark and freshly tilled earth. It was sweet and savory and comfortable.
“Thank you for talking to me about this,” Lilly said, turning to face me.
The light out there was faint and soft, and I could barely make out her face. All I could see was the silhouette of her perfect features-her round nose, her gentle brow, her pointed chin, her white smile. Again, before I had time to react, she had thrown her arms over my shoulders and leaped toward me. Her lips planted themselves firmly on mine, and she kissed me deeply. Her head cocked to the side ever so slightly to accommodate our noses. I loved the feeling of her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, and I held onto her waist, keeping her close until she moved back on her own accord.
“It’s late,” she whispered to me. “I have to go.”
Her smile was so coy I could’ve imagined it came straight from a fox’s face. Her fingers were laced behind her back, and she was taking a step away from me. “Will I see you tomorrow?”
“You will. You will see me anytime you want.”
I stood like a statue as she backed away from me. It seemed as if she didn’t want to take her eyes off of me as she left. Still, after a few more steps, she waved, turned on her heel, and gave a brisk walk back to the line of tiny homes situated on one edge of the property. Even after she was out of eyesight, I stood in the dark. I stood in the dark with no fear. I stood in the dark with no worry about what anyone thought of me. The cars, the houses, the money, none of it mattered. I was too busy falling in love again.
8
Lillian
I made it back to my house quickly, and the entire time, I was scared to look back. What if I did, and Andre was no longer there? What if I turned and went back only to find that his footprints weren’t there? What if it was all a dream and he had never come back. What if he had never existed except for in my past, and everything had been a lonely daydream?
I groaned.
“Of course he’s real. Don’t be so stupid,” I cursed to myself.
I pulled the keys from my pocket and unlocked the front door.
The light switch was flicked on with a soft tap, and I passed through my cool, comfortable little home to the couch. Just as I plopped myself down onto the soft cushions, there was a knock on the door. Who could that possibly be at this hour? Standing, I looked through the peephole into the eye of my best friend.
“Open up, girl, we need to talk!” Anna huffed dramatically, one hand on her hip. She knocked again, a quick rap on the painted door. “I saw you go inside. You need to give me the dirt!”
I opened the door, laughing at my friend. She actually took the time to check on me. Anna was always very thoughtful.
“Come in, sit down, “ I urged.
Anna waltzed by, plopping down on the couch.
“Okay, go. Tell me all about Andre. How do you know him?” She grabbed a pretty pillow decorating the couch and hugged it as she gazed at me inquisitively. I had a feeling things like that didn't often happen out there on the farm.
“We went to high school together. He was my brother’s best friend, well one of them. We dated for nearly all four years that I was in school, his first year of college, too.” I pulled out a bar stool from under the kitchen counter and sat while talking.
“So he isn’t just some guest. You guys were close before you came to work here? You never mentioned him before. You said you had no family besides the lot you left back in the castle in NYC.”
“No, we weren’t close—not anymore. We got into a fight when it was time for me to choose colleges. A lot of disrespectful words were passed between us, and we grew apart. We hadn’t talked since the night before I left for school.”
I’d always wondered if he regretted that. Did Andre feel bad for the fight that had ended our relationship? Could we have stayed together with so much distance between us? Would he have been as successful if we had stayed together, or would I have held him back?
“Oh, wow, so this is completely by chance?”
“It seems so. Another mutual friend told him about the farm, apparently, he—his friend, not Andre—comes here every once in a while to get himself straightened out and thought it could help Andre with whatever was bothering him.”
“My gosh! You were bothering him!” Anna exclaimed. “He came into our house looking like a rattlesnake that had just gotten stepped on. He looked so mean and hard and venomous I didn’t want anything to do with him. Then, the next day or whatever, I could say he turned over a new leaf, but I think he may have turned into a whole other tree. He completely changed. That was when you two ran into each other, right?”
I nodded.
“Of course! Wow, what a play of fate if I’d ever seen one!”
“Do you really think that’s what this is?” I probed.
I was always skeptical about fate and destiny and “a bigger plan,” but I couldn’t argue that this seemed a little too convenient.
“I do. This is just so uncanny; what else could it be? You’ll meet up with him tomorrow, right? Why don’t you two talk about how you'll make it work this time instead of fighting? Sure, there is distance between you now, but you’ve both grown since college. You can make this work. You were obviously made for each other.”
Anna was right. We were almost in the exact same situation as we were back in college. I was four hours away from where he lived.