What does he know about my life?
What do I know about what his life is like now?
It was sad that two friends who’d never run out of things to say to each other could be so uncomfortable in each other’s presence now.
“Do you need anything else?” he asked as he poured himself some coffee.
I walked up to the kitchen island as I said, “You still drink a lot of coffee?”
Owen had studied like a madman in high school, and he’d held down a job at a local auto store, too. It had seemed like he was always slugging down coffee during his senior year. If Noah had allowed it, Owen probably would have worked every available moment he had, since he’d been saving for college. But his eldest brother had put restrictions on how many hours he’d let his little brother work in high school.
Owen turned to face me with a mischievous grin. “How do you think I made it through medical school and my residency? No lectures about how I’m a doctor and I know how bad it is for me, if you don’t mind.”
It was the first time I’d actually seen Owen smile like that since he’d returned to Citrus Beach, and the sight almost melted my heart.
I shrugged as I picked up a Diet Coke he’d given me earlier. “I won’t say a word if you promise not to comment on my addiction to Diet Coke. A person has to have a vice or two, even if they know it’s bad for them.”
Owen moved until he was right across from me, resting one hip against the island. “Agreed. Something is going to get all of us someday. I’d rather enjoy my life than worry about every single thing that could end it.”
I swallowed a mouthful of soda with more force than was necessary. I didn’t like how uneasy I felt with him this close to me, even if there was the barrier of the granite island between us. “Same here. I mean, I try to be as healthy as possible, but I’m not giving up pizza, hamburgers, and Diet Coke completely. Life would suck if I did.”
“Speaking of pizza,” he drawled. “Is that incredible family-owned pizza joint on Baker Street still open?”
I nodded. “Russo’s. Yeah, it’s still going strong, and hasn’t changed a bit. They still have the best pizza in the area. You haven’t been there yet?”
“I haven’t,” he confirmed. “Citrus Beach has changed, and I wasn’t sure it was still there. There are so many new restaurants in this city.”
I sat down on one of the stools along the island. “I guess since I’ve been around to see those changes, it doesn’t seem like Citrus Beach has grown that much,” I answered. “It doesn’t seem all that different to me. Most of the places we went to as teenagers are still operating. You haven’t taken time to explore?”
It wasn’t like he’d just gotten back to California yesterday. I knew I sure as hell would have sought out some of the best restaurants in town if I’d been gone for a decade.
“I’ll get there eventually,” Owen answered. “I guess I’m still not used to having the time and the money to go out to eat. I still feel a little lost. I spent a whole decade of my life pretty isolated. Now that I’m finally exactly where I want to be, everything has changed. The world has moved on while my life outside of school has been on hold.”
Okay. Maybe Owen and I weren’t friends anymore, and I’d probably never let go of my resentment toward him, but I could relate to what he was feeling. “I get it,” I told him. “I felt the same way once I finished graduate school. I spent years in college, and I worked as a registered nurse once I was able to take my boards, so there was nothing except work and school for me, either. When I was finally done, I realized all of my friends had moved on without me. Most of them had gotten married and had a kid or two by the time I was finished.”
I could still remember how sad I’d been that I had nothing in common with most of my old friends once I’d finished college. They’d built a whole new network of friends who were married with kids, and I didn’t fit in with any of them anymore.
“So you finished your bachelor’s, became a registered nurse, and then went on to grad school?” he asked, sounding genuinely curious.
“Yes . . . and no,” I started to explain. “Like you, I tested out of general classes and took classes in high school to knock out some of my prerequisites. I got through the rest of them in a year, and then went into the nursing program for my associate’s. After that I took my boards and started working as an RN. I wanted a job that would pay me decently so I could afford to pursue my bachelor’s and then my master’s.”
His compelling green eyes studied me as he rested his elbows on the island. “What happened to all of those dreams you had about becoming a veterinarian? I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“I did,” I said in a clipped tone, unable to keep the irritation out of my voice. “I think you know what happened, Owen. Can we just cut this whole pretense?”
Why had he needed to go there just when we were managing to have a civil conversation?
God, was he really going to keep acting like he had no idea why I didn’t like him?
“No, I really don’t know,” he said, his gaze never leaving my face. “We need to talk about whatever happened. It’s been over ten years, Layla. We’ve been adults for a while now. If I did something to hurt you, I want to fix it. I hardly saw you during the last few months of high school, and then I was gone to Massachusetts to get my shit together before I had to start college. I hate the way we parted, and I hated not being able to talk to you while I was gone. I missed you, and I never did understand why you ended up hating me.”
My heart ached as I remembered how much I’d missed him, too. It had been really painful for those first few years. Eventually, I’d convinced myself that his betrayal didn’t hurt me anymore, but I’d been lying to myself.
I’d learned to live with what Owen had done.
But I’d buried the hurt rather than resolving it.
“You’re right. We are adults. Do we really need to discuss something that happened a decade ago?” I asked tersely.
I didn’t want to pull the scab off old wounds. Not now. Owen and I had to work together.
“Yeah,” he said huskily. “I think we do. What does this have to do with your education and your desire to be a vet?”
Like a cork from a champagne bottle, I exploded. “I couldn’t go to college the conventional way. I needed the Manheim Scholarship to do a bachelor’s program, Owen. I got several smaller scholarships I applied for, but I needed something bigger to help me get my bachelor’s so I could apply for vet school. I’m sure that you probably wanted that scholarship, too, but you got more than one major scholarship, and you had more financial aid available than I did. I never saw my father, but he paid a ton of money for child support, money that covered all of my expenses since my mother didn’t have a job. I think that was the agreement with my mother so he could claim me as his dependent. I had to claim that on my FAFSA, so my financial aid was minimal, even though I knew my father would never cover another dime of my expenses once I turned eighteen. There was no way he would help me with college, but I couldn’t get much financial aid, either. I knew I’d be screwed without that hand up that the Manheim would have given me to get through a bachelor’s with whatever low-paying jobs I could get while I was completing that degree. I just didn’t know that my entire opportunity to even be considered for it would be undermined because you lied to me.”