I swallowed another mouthful and tore off another paper towel to wipe my mouth. “You got me,” I agreed with a sigh. “Growing up with my uncle was exciting and, for the most part, I loved my childhood. But it made me tired, Ethan. Tired of uprooting, tired of being alone. The school gives me a foundation, somewhere I can belong. And I get to contribute to the foundations of a bunch of precious tiny people,” I added with a genuine smile.
“So you’re a homebody? You don’t like to travel?” he pressed, his eyebrows drawing together in concern.
“I don’t like to travel. See, that’s all the more reason we should just be friends,” I teased.
I dropped another bite of barbecue into my mouth and awkwardly swallowed while he studied me. I decided to change the subject.
“So what made you decide to play football? I don’t mean to be indelicate, but do you really even have to work?”
Ethan frowned. “You mean couldn’t I just live off of my stepfather’s money?”
“I know that sounds tacky,” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat again. “But yeah, I guess that’s what I mean.”
“Don’t worry. I get that a lot,” he confided. “I could live off of Victor’s money if I wanted to. He certainly has enough of it. But what kind of man would that make me? I’m good at what I do, Emily. I’m good at everything I do. If I didn’t play football, if I didn’t take advantage of my talents, everything I am would be wasted. Does that make any sense?”
I nodded and tried to stifle a yawn. The wine and the emotions of the day were catching up with me and my eyelids grew heavy. Ethan noticed.
“You’re exhausted.” He gathered the discarded paper towels and tossed them into the bar side trash can. My heart thumped when he reached for my hand.
“Come on. I’ll get you some sweats and show you to the guest room.”
Ethan led me through the house, stopping at the room at the end of the west wing. He pushed open the door but stayed in the hallway.
“If you feel like washing up, the guest suite has its own bath. My room is right here,” he added. He took a few steps backward and opened a door on the opposite wall. “My sweats will probably swallow you, but they’ll be more comfortable than your jeans.”
I followed him into the room and perched on the foot of his bed. As I’d expected, Ethan’s room was meticulously organized. He opened a dresser drawer and retrieved a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that had been cut off at the knees.
“These are just ratty old practice pants,” he explained. “But they won’t drag on the ground.”
“Works for me.” I took the clothes from his hands, resisting the urge to hold them to my chest. Half of me wanted to pull him down beside me on the bed. The other half knew that was the last thing I should be thinking about. I decided to play it safe and rose to my feet.
“I’m glad you found me tonight, Emily,” Ethan offered as I walked toward the door. I paused and looked over my shoulder.
“I’m glad I did too, Ethan. Thanks for listening to me.”
“Anytime.”
***
Ethan tucked me into his guest bed and I spent the next hour trying to get to sleep. My body was exhausted, but my mind was racing. Ben’s betrayal stung, but it wasn’t what was keeping me awake. My proximity to Ethan was what had me reeling and I fought the urge to leave my bed for his.
I can’t jump from one man to another. Ethan’s charming, and he really does seem to be interested in me. But I don’t know him yet. And I can’t kick off my newly single status with a one-night stand… can I?
I tossed beneath the blankets, trying to get comfortable enough to drift off to sleep. But my mind kept returning to the last night I’d tried to be intimate with Ben. It dawned on me that I didn’t actually remember the last time I’d had sex.
Okay, so I’m horny. But Ethan isn’t the man to scratch that itch with. If I jump into bed with him too soon, he’ll never respect me. I’ll ruin any chance of having a real relationship with him.
That thought made me pause.
Do I want a real relationship with him? I don’t even know right now. Which is precisely why I need to stay put. He’s probably asleep by now, anyway.
About that time, I heard Ethan’s bedroom door creak open. I held my breath, hoping he was on his way to me. But after a few long, tense seconds, I realized that was just wishful thinking. A few minutes later, I heard his door close again.
Screw it. If I stay here, I’m going to be up all night fantasizing about what might have happened. I’ll go cuddle with him and see what happens from there.
My heart in my throat, I kicked off the blankets and padded barefoot across the thick shag carpet. I reached Ethan’s door and knocked softly on the thick wood.
“Come in,” he called out, his voice muffled through the wall.
I pushed the door open and slipped into the room. I lingered just inside, suddenly nervous that Ethan didn’t want my company. He pushed himself up against the headboard and flipped on his bedside lamp. His bare, well-defined chest drew my eyes and made it difficult for me to talk.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked, his voice sympathetic and understanding.
I shook my head. “No. I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“It’s okay, Emily,” he assured me. He pulled down the blankets beside him and patted the mattress.
“If you’re not in the mood to be alone, you’re welcome to sleep in here with me. I promise I’ll be a gentleman.”
“Thanks,” I replied, unsure if I was happy or upset with his promise but climbed into the bed and snuggled under the blankets. Ethan left the lamp on and curled his body around mine.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, his mouth just inches from my neck.
“This is perfect.” And it was.
We laid in silence for a few minutes as I listened to the steady in and out of Ethan’s breathing. It slowed, becoming deeper and I knew he was ready for sleep. I was anything but. I raised a hand to the arm he had draped over me and started tracing light, teasing circles on his smooth skin.
Ethan let out a soft, happy moan and moved into my touch. I turned in his arms and gave him a bold, hard kiss on the mouth. He flinched in surprise, but then kissed me back. He pushed one hand beneath my t-shirt and gripped my side roughly before stopping himself and rolling away.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know you’re not ready. I got a little carried away.”
I rolled closer to him and kissed his shoulder. “I think I started this,” I told him, kissing a trail to his neck.
“Oh, Emily,” he groaned as my lips found his earlobe. His tone fluctuated between passion and frustration, and he stopped me just as I was about to climb into his lap.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he pleaded. “I want you. Of course I want you. But I want all of you. And right now, you’re emotional… and a little drunk.”
“I’m not at all drunk,” I corrected him with a pout. “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this as much as I do. I’ll go back to the other room.”
Ethan grabbed me and pulled me back into his arms. “I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he confessed. “And believe me, I wish I could rip your clothes off right now. But I’m just not sure this is the right time. Like I said, I want all of you. When we make love… and we will, Emily, I want it to be about you and me, nothing more. And right now, I know what happened with Ben is motivating most of your decisions.”