Coming here was a mistake. I’m too emotional to think clearly. This is all way too much, way too soon.
Pulse racing, I gripped the arms of my chair and started to rise. Ethan slid his chair a few feet away from me and held up his hands.
“I’m sorry. Like I said, I know it sounds strange. And I know this isn’t the time to talk about my feelings. Please don’t leave, Emily. You came to the diner tonight because you needed a friend. Let me be that for you.”
I relaxed back into my chair and reached for my wine. “I shouldn’t be driving, anyway.”
“Exactly,” he agreed. “Just try to relax. We can talk about whatever you’d like. And if you want to kill both of these bottles, you’re more than welcome to crash in one of the spare rooms.”
Damn it, he’s right. If I don’t stop drinking now, I’ll never be able to get myself home. Fuck it. My relationship just imploded. I deserve some alcohol.
“I have assembly duty at seven-thirty in the morning. If I crash here, you’ll have to get up super early for me to take you back to your car,” I warned.
“I’m fine with that,” he told me with a grin. He topped off my glass and I stared down silently at the wine. It had just dawned on me that I had a little over twelve hours before I had to face Ben again. I wasn’t looking forward to the reunion.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Ethan pressed, his voice lower, more sympathetic.
I crinkled my nose, frowned, and met his eyes. “I was thinking about getting a substitute for tomorrow,” I confessed.
“You’re not ready to see him?”
I shook my head. “Part of me feels like a coward. Sub days are hard on everyone and it’s completely unprofessional to let my personal life affect my students. But at the same time, when I think of seeing Ben…”
“Emily, if you think you’ll break down when you see Ben, it’s in everyone’s best interest for you to stay home,” he insisted.
Ethan held my gaze, his patient face wrinkled with concern.
I gave him a guilty, devilish grin and admitted the real reason I didn’t want to see Ben. “I’m not worried about breaking down in tears. I’m afraid I’ll go into a blind rage and beat the shit out of him in front of everyone.”
Ethan’s face relaxed and he let out an amused laugh. “Well, that settles it. You’re definitely taking a sick day tomorrow. Why don’t you call and make the arrangements while I go scare up something from the kitchen? If you’re going to keep drinking, I insist that you eat something.”
“Deal,” I agreed, completely unfazed by the fact that he was basically bossing me around. It felt good to be taken care of for once. I fetched my phone from my purse, propped my feet up on the opposite chair, and hit Linda’s speed dial.
“Hey, Em. What’s up?”
“I’ve had a terrible night, Linda,” I confessed. “When you left my room this afternoon, I started to feel guilty about hiding Ethan from Ben. I decided to surprise him with dinner at his place. He was supposed to be at the club until seven. But when I got to the apartment, he was in bed with Becky Childers.”
“That rat bastard,”‘ Linda gasped, then growled. “Say no more. I’ll line up your sub and go over the lesson plans with her in the morning. Just let me know what you want me to tell everyone. I assume you’re not officially calling in heartbroken?”
“No, officially I’m sick. I’m sure the truth will get around soon enough, but I don’t want to be the one who lets this cat out of the bag. I’m going to email Principal Matthews and tell him I’m coming down with the stomach flu. With the number of sick kids we’ve had this week, he won’t think twice about it.”
“Got it. That’ll be my story if anyone asks. Though I have a few other words in mind for Ben. I’m so sorry, Emily. Are you okay? If you need to talk, you’re more than welcome to come hang out with Henry and me.”
“That’s okay. I have someone to talk to,” I said with a hint of mischief in my voice.
“Emily… where are you?” The tone of her voice told me she already had a pretty good idea.
“I’m at Ethan’s.”
“Well, good for you,” she said, surprising me. “Enjoy yourself. I expect a full report as soon as I get home from school tomorrow. Periodic text updates between now and then would be much appreciated,” she teased.
“We’re just talking. I’ve only been single for a few hours,” I reminded her.
“Sure, if you say so.”
“Ha, ha. I need to let you go. I still need to shoot an email to Matthews and Ethan will be back any second with my dinner.”
“Try to enjoy yourself tonight, Em. You deserve it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
I ended the call and typed a short email to the principal. I told him my stomach didn’t feel well, which technically wasn’t a lie, and assured him that Linda was handling all of the arrangements. Ethan stepped outside with an enormous platter of barbecue just as I was returning my phone to my purse.
“Everything settled?” He sat the platter on the table and moved behind the bar to fetch a roll of paper towels.
“Yes. Linda, the other kindergarten teacher, is handling everything for me.”
“Did you tell her what’s really going on?”
I nodded and reached for a sauce-drenched rib. “She would have found out eventually. But she won’t run her mouth to the rest of the school.”
I picked it up by the bone and the meat fell back to the plate. Ethan picked up a dripping handful, tossed it into his mouth, then passed me a paper towel before tearing one off for himself.
“Do you want to keep talking about it?” he continued after chasing his bite with a gulp of wine.
I shook my head. “I’d like to talk about anything but, actually.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that,” he replied with a grin, sending my heart into another happy race. “I’m interested in so much more than your relationship with your ex,” he continued. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. What inspired you to go into teaching?”
I reached for my wine and Ethan shook his head, his eyes darting to the ribs.
“You’ve got to get something in your stomach, Emily. Trust me, you’ll feel much better tomorrow if you eat something.”
There was no point in arguing. I knew he was right. I took a bite of smoky, tangy meat, and then answered Ethan’s question as I stripped three more bones.
“When I started high school, a guidance counselor explained that I’d need extracurricular activities for my college applications. We were never in one place long enough for me to join any teams or clubs. But every school I went to had a shortage of tutors. I’d always done really well in school, and the job was a natural fit.”
I ate another bite of the ribs and wiped my hands on the paper towel.
“These are delicious. This is quite the meal for something you scared up in the kitchen.”
“You lucked out.” He licked sauce from his thumb and my stomach twisted. “I forgot these were in the fridge. So you became a teacher because you enjoyed tutoring so much? Somehow, I feel like there’s more to it than that.”