MadHatter3000: Dave?
BookNerd: Yeah?
MadHatter3000: I’m nervous.
BookNerd: Me too, baby. Me too.
Chapter Four
The name on his screen doused his libido like a bucket of ice water. Grayson sat staring at the word. The name Maddie had called him stood out on the page, all but lit up and blinking. So, that was the name Christina had given her. He supposed she’d had to tell Maddie something, but the name taunted him with what he wanted so damn bad he could taste it: to tell her who he really was.
Damn it. He slammed the lid shut, dropped his laptop onto the couch beside him with a little more force than intended, and surged to his feet. Pacing away from the couch, he dragged his hands through his hair. He hated lying to her. Oh for sure when she found out, she’d be pissed, but he’d waited three years for this chance. Three long damn years of trying to move on with his life, but not being able to. Because he missed her.
He needed her to know he hadn’t hidden the truth to hurt her, that he hadn’t intended for her to find out his real name the way she had. Damn it, he needed her to know the truth. Everything he would have told her that weekend, had she shown up.
It would mean eventually bearing an ugly, painful wound, though. He’d have to show her the scars on his back and share all those dark places. The things he’d spent sixteen years trying to forget. He still saw his father on occasion. He’d left home at thirteen, because living on the streets was better than living with an angry drunk, never knowing if he’d be safe going to sleep at night. Yet now that he’d gotten his life together, dear ol’ dad would call or show up out of the blue, pretending everything was great. As if all those years of abuse hadn’t happened. That the damn scars on his back didn’t exist or he hadn’t spent a year on the streets and not once had the man come searching for him.
“I don’t care what you do with the little bastard….”
His father’s words that long ago day rang in his head. That was the day Arthur had sought parental custody. Doing so had meant months in court and a restraining order, but in the end, his biological father hadn’t contested.
The ping of an incoming instant message sounded from the vicinity of the couch behind him. Right. He’d left Maddie hanging. With a sigh, he resumed his seat and opened his laptop lid. A new message blinked out at him from the screen.
MadHatter3000: Did I scare you off?
For all her bravado and sass, deep down, Maddie had insecurities, like everybody else. It’s what he loved so much about her. She was humble and honest.
And you’re lying to her.
Guilt rose over him again, tightening his stomach, and for a moment, he could only stare at the screen. He hadn’t meant for their chats to go this far. He’d only meant to draw her out of herself, for her to get to know him again. He couldn’t back out now, though. Not without telling another lie, which would go against everything he wanted: to earn her trust. The only way for that to happen would be to act natural. Otherwise, she’d know something was up. This had to work. He couldn’t lose her again.
BookNerd: Sorry. Had to get up for a minute. I’ll quote somebody else I know. I don’t scare so easily. ;)
MadHatter3000: Thought perhaps I was little too honest.
BookNerd: I like honesty. Truth is, my real name’s not Dave. I wanted anonymity until we met at the auction. Tell me what you’re doing.
MadHatter3000: I’m staring at you, actually. You’re very yummy inspiration. I’ve started without you.
Grayson groaned, his cock twitching against his belly. He’d taken a huge chance by sending her that pic, on the off chance she’d recognize him somehow. His only saving grace was knowing she’d never seen him with his shirt off, a fact he’d made sure of up until now. Back then, she’d wanted to take things slow, and he’d been happy to let her, in part because he feared the scars on his back would disgust her. It hadn’t happened yet with any of his previous lovers, but the fear was still there, nonetheless.
The thought of the conversation that would follow terrified him. Those were memories he only wanted to forget. He’d moved so far beyond the terrified boy he’d once been, but he would carry the scars forever.
Those words from Maddie, though, were the entire reason he’d taken the chance.
BookNerd: God, you have no idea how much of a turn-on that is, to know you’re over there with your fingers buried in your pussy, thinking about me. Exactly how wet are you, baby?
MadHatter3000: Very. It’s all hot and slippery.
The image filled his mind, the way it had a thousand times before. Her, with her legs spread and her fingers buried in her heat. All those nights he laid in his bed, alone, listening to the sound of her ragged breathing as she stroked that hot pussy. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes, fisted his cock, and stroked slowly as the sounds she’d made long ago filled his head. By God, she was beautiful in the throes of passion. He ached to be a fly on the wall of her apartment.
When he didn’t respond—because he couldn’t make his brain work much past that image of her—another message popped up.
MadHatter300: Guys like to know that stuff, right?
His heart twisted at another sign of her insecurity.
BookNerd: Sorry. You distracted me for a minute. You make my cock ache, sweetheart. That’s perfect.
MadHatter3000: You want me?
More memories flooded his mind. He squeezed the head of his cock, swiping his thumb over the bead of slick liquid dripping out the tip as the sound of her voice filled his head. She’d said those exact words to him once three years ago, had spoken them on a breathless, distracted whisper. Her voice had become an erratic, jerky huff that filled his mind with images of her long, slender fingers flying over her clit as she raced toward orgasm. It had taunted him then and did so again now.
BookNerd: You have no idea.
MadHatter3000: What r u thinking?
BookNerd: I’m imagining you, with your legs spread, fingers stroking your pussy. I bet you look incredible. Christ, I can almost smell you. I’d be on my knees at your feet, worshiping that pussy. I ache to replace those fingers with my tongue.
MadHatter3000: God, u don’t know what that does to me…
He let out a soft curse and dropped his head back onto the sofa. His cock was so hard, so engorged, every stroke had extreme pleasure shooting to his toes. He was a sneeze from the edge. A couple of long strokes would be all it took. The imagined sound of her voice wrapped him like hot velvet, like she was there beside him, and another memory lodged itself in his mind. Another heated phone call, once upon a time. “Tell me what you’d do to me, Gray…”
Too ramped up and too damn close to imploding, he forced himself to open his eyes and released his cock, focusing, instead on the computer. If he didn’t, he was going to come without her, and this wasn’t about his needs. It was about hers. He could take care of himself later.
He thought for a minute, then dove into the fantasy.
BookNerd: I like it slow. I’d take my time with you. Caress your thighs, stroke your belly, pinch your nipples. I’d lean in and inhale your scent. I bet you smell incredible.
MadHatter3000: U like that?
God, did he ever.
BookNerd: A woman’s scent is damn erotic. I’d have to lean in and taste. Long, slow strokes of my tongue, each one ending with a flick over your clit. I’d take my time, relishing the way you taste and the musk of your scent. Can you feel my tongue, baby?