“And maybe you should learn from my mistakes.”
“Raph.”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t—”
He cut me off, “No, you’re right. I’ve been out of sorts lately, and diving into danger without cover like that isn’t the best way to deal with it.”
I’d known he was out of sorts, I even had theories of why he was, but this was the first time he was acknowledging anything was wrong. And my dumb ass had no idea what to say.
He whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” I squeezed his neck to pull his gaze back up to mine. “I’m worried about you.”
His expression softened even further, and the look on his face was beautiful, breathtaking. “You don’t need to worry about me, babe.”
There was that babe again. I swallowed around the lump in my throat, and as I stared into Izzy’s bright blue eyes. Seeing the years and years of affection for me there, I couldn’t seem to help myself. My body reacted without a thought from me, and I found myself surging forward and pressing my lips to his. Izzy grunted in surprise, and for twenty beautiful, wonderful, amazing seconds, he returned my kiss. He opened his mouth and brushed his tongue along mine, but reality seemed to snap back to him because he pulled away with wide eyes.
I whispered, “Isiah…”
He shook his head. “Raph, don’t.”
A sharp pain pierced my chest at the hurt laced in his words, but I wasn’t sure if the pain was coming from me, him, or both of us through our soul-pledged link.
He gave me a sad smile and rubbed his thumb along my jaw before leaning his forehead to mine in the warlock’s gesture of thanks and camaraderie for a few seconds. Then he brushed his soft lips across my cheek for a brief moment before he moved away and turned his back to me.
He only made it three steps before I called out to him, “I love you, Izzy. You know that, right?”
He looked over his shoulder with a small smile on his lips and sadness in his eyes. “I know. I love you, too, Raph.” And then he was gone, out the door, putting as much space between us as he could.
I couldn’t blame him. I never should’ve kissed him. It was reckless and cruel, but I’d forgotten myself. It had been such a long time since he’d allowed me to kiss him… and even longer since he’d asked me to stop.
Chapter 2
Isiah
As soon as I stepped outside, Nadia cawed overhead, so I held my arm out, and a moment later, she landed on the thick bracer I wore so my skin didn’t get sliced up from her talons when she landed on me. She climbed my arm to my shoulder—my shirt was spelled to withhold her more gentle movements so I needn’t worry about her talons after landing. Nadia nudged my cheek with her beak—her way of offering comfort. I gave her a few scratches on her neck and muttered, “Why’d he have to kiss me?”
She cooed in answer, and I sighed before bending over to pick up Raph’s familiar, Jezebel. I hugged her to my chest, and the sweet cat purred and rubbed my neck with her head as I whispered, “You’re so much better at cuddles than your warlock.”
I carried both our familiars back to the car that we’d parked a few blocks away. Normally, I’d stick around to see this through, but not today, not after he’d kissed me.
Raph obviously knew me well enough to realize that I needed a little space from him because he didn’t follow me right away. Which I was thankful for. If he’d followed me, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from kissing him again, and that was a road I wasn’t willing to travel. Not again, not ever again. Especially not when Raph had his eye on someone else.
Raph and I had never made a good couple, not romantically. We both wound up hurting each other unintentionally, and I… I simply couldn’t do that again. Insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Been there, done that, do not want to collect the t-shirt. We had enough problems without adding insanity to them.
I sat on the trunk of the car, absently petting Jezebel and Nadia, thinking about the look on Raph’s face when he saw Lazarus Callanan for the first time, or rather for the second time—the first time since he’d slept with him. I hadn’t seen him look so happy and excited to see someone in a very long time. A frown formed on my lips. I was so used to the one-night stands, they had become the norm, but seeing him build a connection with Laz over the past year wasn’t something I’d been expecting.
And the worst part was that I actually liked the guy. Laz was a great person, and eleven months ago, he’d handled learning that magic was real very well for a human. Raph and I had been assigned to guard him, so we’d spent a lot of time together. I went into it with the intention of hating the guy, or at the very least, disliking him, but then he’d smile or say something funny or nice, and my plans went to hell. I liked Laz—a lot—and if it wasn’t for the Raph stuff, I’d want to be friends with him. Well, technically, we were friends, but I’d want to be better friends. Much better friends.
But the way Raph acted around him made me think…
Before I could get too sulky with my thoughts, my cell rang, so I pulled it up. Despite my frazzled nerves from Raph, I smiled as I answered it. “Hello?”
“Hello, Izzy. Sorry to bug you, but Raphie’s not answering his phone,” Raphael’s younger brother, Alaric, said.
“Hey, man. No worries, you know you can call me anytime. How are you?”
“I’m good. How are you?” Alaric had been trapped in a prison of sorts for nearly two hundred years thanks to a crazy-ass witch that had cursed him because she had a vendetta against his father. Because of that, I’d only known Alaric for a short while, but I already loved him as if he was my own brother.
“Fine. How’s Grady? Everything okay?” Grady was his soul-pledged. A human that had managed to break the curse and set Alaric free. Raph and I owed him everything for that.
“Yes, everything’s wonderful. Grady and I were making our shopping list, and I wanted to double-check that you and Raphie are still coming to town on Monday. We want to make sure we have food you guys can eat and extra bathroom supplies and such. Grady’s been on a cleaning frenzy.”
I chuckled. “You don’t have to do anything special for us.”
“I know, but we want to. We’ve been looking forward to your visit.”
That warmed me more than he could know. “I have as well. And yes, we’re still coming. We finished a case tonight, so we’ll have to go into the office tomorrow to do all the dreaded paperwork. But then we’ll be able to drive down on Monday morning.”
Alaric blew out a breath. “Good. I was worried you would have to cancel again.”
I sighed. “I know, I was, too. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to get back there in a couple of months. We already told the Conclave that we’re taking a week off, so we should be good to go for our visit.”
“That’s great. I can’t wait to see you guys,” he said before his voice sounded muffled, as if his hand was covering the microphone. I was pretty sure he was talking to his partner. A few seconds later, he said to me, “Grady told me to warn you that Laz is coming to dinner Monday night, too.”