“Not much of a battle.” Erik’s voice shifts from calm to cool. “She fainted ten minutes ago and she’s unarmed.”
“I just want to make her face match her girlfriend’s.” My stomach lurches as Jada goes on. “Or would that bother you? Is that why you came racing up here to check on precious princess Signal?”
“Jada,” Erik sighs. “Why did you lie to me?”
She’s thrown. “What?”
“When you said you’d never be with a guy who only cared about looks. That was a lie.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“So why mess up how she looks? Why ask if that would bother me? Kind of seems like you think I only care about looks.”
“Of course you only care about looks,” Jada laughs angrily. “Are you kidding me? That’s how you work, how every guy works!”
“So all guys are like your stepbrother.” Erik must be crouching down because his voice moves closer, like he’s just beside me. “They see a stack of parts instead of a person, and they’re constantly on the lookout for a better stack of parts?”
“Damn it, Erik.” Her arm on my neck shifts, just for an instant. I’d jerk away but the arrowhead is still in my mouth, the point rattling between my teeth. “You think I’m blind?! Ever since she got here you keep staring at her, you’re obsessed with her—”
“Jada,” Erik says. “Look at me.”
And then she does. Up close, the transformation is remarkable: her eyes had been remote before, but when they lock with Erik’s her face softens. She looks younger, and desperate from pain.
“If you think I see you the way your stepbrother did, but you still want to be with me, then on some level you’re accepting your stepbrother’s view of you,” Erik’s deep voice continues.
“Shut up!” Jada snarls. A tear flashes down her face and hits my neck, warm as a summer raindrop.
“I know you gave up everything to get away from him,” Erik goes on. “But he’s hiding in every guy you meet. You still see the world through his eyes, whether you’re looking at Signal or at me. Is that why you’re angry?”
Jada’s lip jerks, her chin dimples. She sits back on her heels, and I immediately roll to my side and wobble to my feet, expecting any minute for her to pounce on me again. But when I look back Jada is rocking back and forth, head hanging between her knees, sobbing. When my eyes meet Erik’s he mouths, Go.
So I run to the lower field as fast as I can.
* * *
When I get there, the Teen Killers Club is sitting on a patchwork of old blankets and faded quilts, puffed up by the uncut grass underneath so it looks like they’re picnicking on top of a giant down comforter. They’re all eating from lunch bags Kate brought up from the kitchen. Nobody waves me over, holding up a bag with my name on it. Kate squints beyond me.
“Where’s Erik and Jada? Why didn’t they come back with you?”
“They’re … talking.”
Kate’s smile drops and she shoots to her feet. She breaks into a run as she nears the tree line.
“They’re just talking!” I call after her.
“Talking with Erik can be life-threatening,” Dennis reminds me between bites of a PB&J.
“Here,” Nobody says gruffly, swatting my leg with the lunch bag. “Eat.”
I peer inside: a sandwich, banana, and Sour Cream & Onion Ruffles?! A lesser fake girlfriend might have eaten them herself, but Nobody has my back.
“Oh man, I haven’t had these in forever,” I gush, popping open the bag and shoving the shards into my mouth with shaking fingers.
“You’re bleeding,” Nobody says matter-of-factly.
“Huh … how did that happen?” I drag the least muddy bit of my sleeve across my cheek. It’s not a good look that I got rolled by Jada after fainting on the obstacle course, and everyone hates a snitch. Nobody doesn’t press, so I cram my food down, hunched over so no one notices how much my hands are shaking.
When Kate returns with Jada and Erik, his hands are in his pockets and her face is a blank. They go to sit at opposite ends of the quilt, though. Troy leans over and says something that makes Jada give him a tight smile.
I dare a glance at Javier, who is stretched out on his back across a yellow blanket nearby, hands clasped behind his head as though sleeping. It’s like he’s activated by the sunlight: his skin glows, a small unconscious smile warming his handsome features.
I know I should thank him for saving me, but the idea of starting a conversation is terrifying. Which is ridiculous. He saved my life! It’s actually weirder if I don’t thank him!
I summon all my courage, lean forward, and tap him on his shoulder.
“Hey.” I take a deep breath, “Javier?”
SMACK. A sopping wet trash bag flops onto the ground in front of me, hurled with enough force to scatter its muddy contents across the picnic quilts.
“Signal, you just failed your first test here,” Dave announces, and everyone turns to stare.
“Didn’t even need the dogs to find it,” Dave continues, his voice rising. “Your body just found itself, Signal. Just washed up on shore while you were busy fainting up at the obstacle course.”
The mannequin has landed face up, and memory of Rose’s face after she wasn’t Rose anymore comes back with searing clarity. Her blue eyes staring into eternity, her lips slack over red teeth. It is always there, in the back of my mind, under everything I see.
“You’re getting one last chance with this body, Signal.” Dave sounds far away, and I try to hold onto the anger in his reddening face, to connect to any kind of embarrassment that will pull me out of the flashback, but it’s like the present is a dim film playing on the wall of the shed where I’m still trapped, Rose’s body in my lap forever.
“Signal!!” Dave’s hand grabs my collar, jolting me back to reality. “Did you hear me?”
I blink at him, relieved.
“What did you come to camp to learn?”
I honestly don’t remember the phrase.
“How not to get caught.” Dave blows his whistle, still glaring at me. “Campers! Everyone else can return to their cabins to clean up. Everyone except for Signal, who is falling behind yet again.”
I get on my knees and start picking her up as everyone leaves. My arms jerk, my fingers spasm as I try to pile the fake girl back together.
And then I realize someone is staring.
“Okay, seriously, what now?” I say, looking up in the direction they’ve all left, expecting to see Jada again.
But there’s no one.
I rise to my feet and turn in a slow circle, trying to hear past the rush of wind through the leaves. Behind me the first dark pines at the edge of the forest stand waiting. Their deep shadows could hide anything.
“Signal!” A voice from the opposite direction. Javier lopes toward me through the tall grass and I swallow a cry of relief.
“Look, I know we’re not supposed to help each other.” He looks over his shoulder, then drops his voice confidentially. “But there’s kind of a trick to getting rid of the bodies. If you want, I could show you.”