We’d be stuck without Preston, though. New to the school this year—he’d transferred from the USA, and other than his irritating habit of referring to football as “soccer,” he was a talented player who worked well with the rest of the team. I just hoped that when Kian was back from his suspension, he’d get over this grudge he was holding against his teammate.
“I’m more worried about Cameron.” Xavier finally tore his attention away from Imogen. “When he crosses the ball to Blount, they’re unstoppable.” Despite his input, Xavier wasn’t actually on the team—for some reason, aka his thing for Imogen, he’d joined the drama club this year. Even though he was a decent player, he’d easily given it up for a chance to prance around on a stage with her. I didn’t get it, but whatever. No one would dare to question him either—his uncle was a huge TV producer, married to a former supermodel, and his whole family always seemed to be hanging out with celebrities. Meaning, everyone at school wanted to suck up to him.
“With Carter running the show, no one can get past us.” Chris, another of my teammates, grinned at me.
As everyone began talking tactics, my mind wandered to my English class. If I didn’t get my shit together, I wouldn’t be running the show for much longer.
3
“You’re quiet. Even more than normal.” My friend, Lena Drummond, peered at me as we sat in front of the large monitors in the computer lab during our free period on Wednesday.
We’d only become friends this term, when we’d been partnered together on a project, in our shared Economics class, and while I kept everyone at arm’s length, there was something about her that I was drawn to. I wished I could let her in, but I found it so difficult to open up. Something I was working on, but the fear of being hurt was always there. The fear of rejection. Carter’s words came to my mind again. Insignificant. Nothing.
Sometimes, I wished Lena’s don’t-give-a-fuck attitude would rub off on me. She was so confident, so uncaring of what people thought of her. Even now, she flouted the strict dress code rules with her heavy eyeliner, black painted nails, and fishnets with boots instead of the usual tights and shoes the rest of us wore. She could get away with it, though, being school royalty. Her family pretty much ran our town, along with the Lowry and Cavendish families. She was untouchable, even to Carter Blackthorne and his friends.
I opened up my file browser, navigating to the folder with my partially completed essay. Next to me, Lena opened up a complicated-looking screen, covered in numbers. “I’m fine.”
She raised a brow at me, clearly not believing my words. “Try saying that more convincingly, and I might believe you.”
“It’s nothing, really. Just a run-in with Carter. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Carter? As in, Carter Blackthorne?”
“Yeah.”
Turning her head to stare at me, she frowned. “Really?”
I nodded.
“What’s his problem with you?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” I assured her, refusing to allow my voice to tremble.
“Boys are more trouble than they’re worth,” Lena muttered, almost to herself. “If he gives you any trouble, tell me, okay?”
“I will. Thanks.” Grasping for a change of subject, I gestured at her computer screen. “I don’t get how you understand that.”
“Ha. Numbers are easy to me. Maths, computers, whatever. Give me a needle and thread, though, and I wouldn’t have a clue where to start.”
“You have creative talent, too, though. You have your own style. You always look great. Me, on the other hand?” I pointed to myself. “Well…”
She turned her full attention to me. “That’s because you use your uniform to hide away. To make yourself less noticeable. Me? I don’t give a fuck. I’m not hiding anything.”
I gaped at her. “You noticed that?”
“Raine, no offence, but I had no clue you even existed until this year. You’re a pro at making yourself invisible.”
“I…” What could I even say to that? How could I explain the voices inside my head, constantly telling me that I wasn’t enough? That I hid away so no one would have a chance to hurt me? To make me feel less?
It could be blamed on any number of things—my parents passing away, being shuffled between temporary places before my aunt adopted me, the kids in those places who’d singled me out as an easy target when I’d turned up at their school, an outcast in uniform that never quite fitted. I bore no physical scars from that time, but the emotional ones had taken a lot longer to heal. Wherever the blame lay, I’d learned over the years to keep to myself, and now, that was my comfort zone. I felt safe when I slipped under the radar and stayed in the background. It was my armour, my protection against being hurt.
Lena studied me closely, her lips pursed in thought. “I’ve had an idea.” Her eyes gleamed with a challenge. “Do you trust me?”
I stared at her for a long moment, before I made my decision. “Yes.” My voice was a cautious whisper.
A huge smile spread across her face. “It’s time to step out of the shadows and into the light.” My stomach flipped at her words. What was that supposed to mean? She turned back to her computer but kept talking. “Does this hiding away extend outside of school hours? Like, do you ever meet up with anyone outside of school? Do anything social?”
My cheeks grew hot. “No.”
“Hey, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. It’s okay that you haven’t. I just get the feeling you’re hiding, rather than doing it out of choice? Am I right?”
Wow, she was direct. And completely correct. “Yes.” I sighed, lowering my gaze. “I guess…I’m used to keeping to myself. I don’t know how to be any other way.” I couldn’t add the rest of it, couldn’t voice my fears aloud, but that was enough of an explanation for Lena.
“Okay. We’re going to try a few things. Get you more comfortable being around people.”
“Why are you doing this?” Why would she want to help me?
She smiled, turning back to face me. “Because…let’s just say that I know what it’s like to hide away. And I can read you, and I know that underneath that cautious exterior the real Raine Laurent is dying to come out to play.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Fright Night. You’re coming with me.”
Fright Night? Was she serious? That was going to be a huge event—all the local schools had been issued invitations, and I was pretty sure almost all the students in my classes would be there.
I stared at her for a moment, before I managed to gasp out the words. “But…but that’s a huge event!”
A satisfied smile played across her lips. “Exactly. That’s why it’s perfect. There’ll be so many people around, it’ll be easy for you to blend in. Doing this, you get to be around people out of a school setting without the pressure of attention on you. Trust me, you can handle this.”
I stopped and thought for a minute. She was probably right, and maybe with her there as a buffer, it would be okay. I groaned under my breath. “I don’t know what…I want to say yes, but I guess I’m scared.” If I was truthful with myself, I knew I needed to stop hiding away all the time. Why couldn’t I have Lena’s confidence? Why was I still so hung up on my past that I couldn’t move on?