“What do you want from me, Krista? You want me or you don’t. There is no in-between.”
“It’s not that easy, Wolf.” I turn to her now, grabbing her face in my hands.
“It is. I’m here. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’ but I’m here. I’m standin’ here in front of you tellin’ you that you have a fuckin’ choice. You can say it. No one will fault you. No one will judge you if you wanna be with me.”
“You have a girlfriend,” she says harshly, and I get it. I do because I don’t want Lauren around, but she has to be and that’s a fucking weight I have to bear.
“She means nothin’. This is between you and me. You want me? Say it. You want me to walk, tell me.” There’s a demand in my voice. One that she doesn’t deserve. Who the fuck am I to demand her to choose me? I’m nothing to her. I haven’t even known her that long and I’m making her decide? What kind of fucked up man am I? Her eyes fill with tears and I know the answer. I nod my head and lean down, pressing my lips to her forehead.
“Strictly professional at the shop. See you on, Tuesday,” I tell her before turning and walking out of the front door. As I make my way down the sidewalk, I hear her scream. I hear things break but I don’t look back. What the hell was I thinking? We barely know each other. What did I expect her to say?
“What the fuck are you lookin’ at?” I growl at the man walking his dog. He jolts but doesn’t say another word before scurrying as far from me as possible. Krista has my head fucked up. Her telling me she was raped fucks me harder. I grab my helmet off the seat and pull it on before climbing on my bike. I’m just about to rev it up when I hear Ester.
“Hey! Hot guy!” I turn and see her rushing down the sidewalk, looking over her shoulder to see if Krista knows she’s out here. I sit here and watch her a little amused.
“What?”
“She’s got a lot she’s dealing with. She doesn’t talk about it and to be honest, I understand why. We didn’t grow up like most people and it’s hard for her to trust.”
“Isn’t that everyone? We all have trust issues. We’re human.”
“Yeah, but hers run deeper. I can’t tell you her story, but I can tell you that this isn’t just about the rape,” Ester says, tears filling her eyes. I nod my head and scrub my hand over my face.
“I get it, but I can’t force her into anything either. She doesn’t wanna tell me,” I shrug.
“Give her time. She puts up a front. She keeps people at arm’s length for a reason. Don’t shut her out completely because I have a feeling she is going to come find you later on.” Her words hold more meaning than she knows, and as she steps back, I look up at her.
“Tell her she knows how to find me.” Ester smiles and nods her head before turning and heading back inside. I rev up my bike and pull out, heading back to the clubhouse.
Twelve
Krista
My hands are in my pockets as I walk along the sidewalk. Her long blonde hair is curly today hanging down her back. She laughs as they lead her toward the car. I stop completely enamored by her. She’s so perfect. A paper flutters at my feet and I bend down picking it up. The paper is colored in bright colors, a family smiling in the middle. My heart beats harder, my skin becoming damp with sweat.
“Excuse me,” the little voice calls to me. I look up from the photo and see her beaming up at me with a smile on her little face. “That’s my picture. I dropped it.” My heart pounds harder in my chest.
“It’s a beautiful picture,” I tell her as I pass it back.
“It’s my family,” she beams with pride. I see her adopted mom, Lucy standing not far away with a smile on her face. She doesn’t know me. I was allowed to know who Eva’s adopted parents were, but I chose to never meet them. I didn’t think I could handle that.
“Well, it’s a beautiful family.”
“Are you crying?” She asks when the tear slips down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away.
“No.”
“Yes you are. Mommy says it’s okay to cry. It’s how we let out our feelings,” she says. “Do you have a family?” Tears burn my eyes as I try to keep them back. How is this happening? Why me?
“Eva, come on honey. Let the nice lady be.”
“Well do you?” She asks again ignoring her mom.
“No, I don’t.” Lucy is now at Eva’s side.
“I’m sorry. She is always so thoughtful and always asks questions.”
“It’s no problem. She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“You can have this one. Maybe they aren’t your real family, but they can be on paper,” Eva says as she hands me the picture back. Tears pour down my cheeks now and there’s no stopping them.
“I’m so sorry,” Lucy says resting her hand on my shoulder. “She just speaks.” I wave a hand through the air to dismiss her.
“You have to be the sweetest kindest little girl that I have ever met,” I tell her as she smiles.
“We haven’t met yet, silly. I’m Eva.” She holds her hand out and the thought of touching her, holding her, smelling her overwhelms me. It’s too much but I do it. I reach out and take her little hand in mine.
“It’s nice to meet you, Eva. I’m Krista.” My heart literally stops beating as she holds onto my hand.
“Now we’re friends. Well, for a little while. We’re moving soon.”
“You are?” She pulls her hand away and panic grips my throat.
“Yeah. After school is out, we are moving to Florida, right mommy?” She asks looking up to her mom.
“That’s right. Daddy has a new job there.”
“That’s great. I hear the beach is really fun there,” I say trying to calm my nerves. In reality, I want to tell them no. I want to beg her mom to stay and keep her here, but I can’t do that. They both turn to walk away when Eva yells bye and waves over her shoulder at me. My heart breaks in my chest. I force my feet to move, walking back toward the park. I know they’ll be heading home now. This is the way they always go. When I get there, I have a few minutes before they will arrive. They always go and get an ice cream after school. My heart hurts to know that they have that bond. I know I should be happy, and I am that she has a great family but that doesn’t ease the ache inside of me. Pulling my phone out, I debate calling Wolf. I left things so wrong with him. I shouldn’t have told him anything and yet I want to tell him everything. The look in his eyes when I told him about Tom gutted me. Just as my finger hovers over his number, the phone rings.
“Hello?”
“You are a hard woman to track. So is our daughter.” My heart stops. My stomach tumbles. He’s found me. He’s found her.
“Stay away from her.” He laughs.
“You would like that wouldn’t you? You took what belonged to me and gave it away like it was meaningless.”
“You wouldn’t have wanted her,” I hiss into the line.
“You don’t know that.”