And when I think I couldn’t hurt more than I already do, they break apart and I get a glimpse of the girl.
“Tammy?”
I never intended to say the word out loud, but I must have because the next moment the two of them turn their heads in my direction in unison, surprise written all over their faces.
I’m not sure why.
They both knew I’d be here.
At my boyfriend’s house party.
Because he’s just that—my boyfriend.
At least I thought he was.
I guess I was wrong.
“Jessy…” Jack takes a step forward, running his hand through his disheveled hair. Hair her fingers just went through. While she was kissing him.
My hand flies to cover my mouth, my stomach rolling.
God, I’m going to be sick.
He takes another step toward me, guilt and anguish I haven’t seen before staring at me.
“I-I c-can’t…” My voice trembles as I utter the words. Tears gather in my eyes, clouding my vision. I shake my head, trying to clear my mind, but it’s useless. The only thing I can do is see them. “I can’t do this.”
Then I run.
Chapter One
JESSICA
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
“I can do this,” I repeat out loud, as if saying the words will somehow make them true. Newsflash? It doesn’t.
My sweaty palms are gripping the steering wheel, fingers unable to let go as I watch my classmates park their cars in the lot around me and hurry to meet their friends, or go inside the school, ready for the first day of the school year to start.
I should be one of them. I should hurry out, giddy about starting my junior year. Excited to pick up with my cheer practices and lunch breaks spent talking with my best friend Evie. If only I could let go of the steering wheel, that would be an amazing first step in the right direction.
“You. Can. Do. This. Jessy.”
Just as the words come out, my phone chimes, signaling a text message has arrived.
Evie: You planning to sit there all day, or are you actually coming out?
My head shoots up, eyes roaming the parking lot until they land on two heads—one blonde, the other brown—standing a few cars away, right next to a familiar black Honda.
Evie catches my gaze and waves, waiting. She suggested she could drive with me to school today, but I refused. I didn’t want to be that friend. The needy one who comes between her and her best-friend-turned-boyfriend.
Sighing, I will my fingers to unclench, grab my backpack off the passenger seat and force myself to slide out of the car.
I guess it’s now or never.
Evie rushes toward me, enveloping me in a tight hug. “I missed you so much!”
Despite my nerves, I manage to laugh as I wrap my arms around her. “You’ve been gone just a couple of days.”
“Couple of days too long!”
Like every year, Evie, Liam, and their families spent the last weekend before school started at Evie’s family’s lake house. The two families are next door neighbors and long-time friends so it’s a family tradition of sorts for them.
“Did you get to sneak Mr. Hot Stuff into your bedroom?” I joke, wiggling my brows.
Evie’s amber eyes go wide like saucers behind her glasses. She swats my arm, giggling. “Are you insane?” she whisper-yells. “You know my parents love Liam, but I think both my dad and his were planning to lock him in his room so he couldn’t get to me.”
“You guys are hilarious!”
I’m genuinely happy for Evie and Liam. There aren’t two better people who deserve to be happy as much as they do. They’ve been dancing around each other for years, insisting they were only friends until Evie finally took matters into her own hands last year. She decided to go out with Noah, captain and quarterback of Greyford’s football team, which made Liam realize that he wanted more than to just be friends with her while watching her date somebody else. Thank fuck for that, because Noah turned out to be a douchebag of enormous proportions, kissing Evie although she repeatedly asked him to stop.
Evie rolls her eyes, but the smile is still firmly on her lips.
“How are you doing?” she asks once the laughter dies down, and so does my smile. “Are you ready for today?”
“Ehhh,” I sigh, all the nerves I’ve been feeling since the moment I woke up this morning suddenly returning in full force. “Fine.” I look toward the school. There are barely any people left outside. “I guess we had better go inside, before I’m tempted to ditch the first day.”
Or the entire year.
Evie looks at me for a moment longer before nodding. “Fine.” She loops her arm through mine and together we start toward Liam and school.
“Best friend stealer,” I greet Liam.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Hey to you too, Jessy.”
“Oh no, you don’t get to be all cute now. I’ve barely seen my best friend this whole summer and it’s all your fault.”
“Well, she was my best friend first.”
Technically speaking, he’s right, since they’ve lived next to each other their whole lives, and I moved here in middle school, but ask me if I care.
“She loves me more,” I counter instantly, sticking my tongue out at him. “Tell him, Evie.”
Evie looks between the two of us and shakes her head. “You two are nuts. No way am I supporting this craziness.”
I want to call her out on it, but the school building draws my attention and sucks all the playfulness out of me. Liam grabs the front door just before it closes and holds it open for us. Evie must feel my body tense, because she grips my forearm reassuringly.
“It’ll be okay.” Her gentle voice should be soothing, but it’s anything but. “I’m sure everybody has forgotten about it already.”
Not very likely, but I don’t say it out loud.
“I’m sure you’re right.” The lie tastes sour on my tongue, but I force it out nonetheless. I don’t want Evie worrying about me the whole day. “What do you have first?”
“Both Liam and I are in English lit. You?”
“Trigonometry.” The two classrooms are in different wings altogether. “I gotta leave my books in my locker first though. I don’t want to carry the extra weight all day long. See you at lunch?”
Evie lets go of my arm, but I can see the reluctance in her gaze. “See you at lunch.”
Hoisting the strap of my bag higher on my shoulder, I turn around and walk toward my locker. My gaze is firmly fixed on the floor, hoping to avoid any possible eye contact with people still mingling in the hallways.
I’m not positive like Evie, and I don’t believe one bit that people have forgotten. Greyford is a relatively small town, and people here live for drama. What happened at the beginning of the summer is the most drama that’s happened since Brook Taylor went missing only to come back pregnant. And I was in the middle of this particular shitshow, which makes it all the worse.
Getting to my locker, I put in my combination and pull it open. The space is completely empty since we have to empty the lockers at the end of every year. My nose furrows at the stale smell that comes from inside.
Great, just what I needed, an ex-jock locker. Or maybe it’s just some guy who conveniently forgot a pair of dirty socks that got lost inside. I look into every corner of the little metal space, but come up empty.