“Uh, excuse me,” I say.
The girl breaks the kiss and turns toward me. When she sees his hand on me and watches me push him off, I expect her to be pissed. Instead, however, she smiles.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’m cool with sharing.” She nods toward the guy. “Kiss him. He’s really good at it.”
Jumping up so fast my vision blurs, I speed-walk away from them and out of the living room entirely. What I need is a second to myself—just a minute to get my head on straight before enduring more of this train wreck of a party.
My first thought is the bathroom, but when I find it, the line is twenty people long. That won’t work. My eyes land on a set of stairs. If luck is on my side, I’ll be able to find an empty bedroom for a minute or two. I slip through the group of people and make my way up.
The first three rooms either have locked doors or enough noise coming from them for me to know they’re occupied. The fourth, however, appears to be vacant. I slip inside and shut the door behind me, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as soon as I’m away from the chaos. It isn’t until someone chuckles that I realize I’m not alone after all.
My eyes frantically search the dark room until they land on a silhouette sitting in the windowsill. The tip of his cigarette burns a bright red as he inhales, and I watch the smoke drift up as he lets it out.
Just like every other time I’ve met him, I’m entranced by him. The moonlight rests softly against his skin, showcasing the perfect shape of his face. He’s beautiful, and not in the way that models are beautiful.
No.
He’s beautiful in the way that makes you stop and think.
The way that demands your attention and doesn’t let you look away.
The way that’s heartbreaking, and pained, and real.
“Okay, now I know you’re lost,” he comments.
I’m snapped out of my trance, and I blindly scramble to find the doorknob. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know someone was in here.”
Just as I’m about to leave, he speaks again. “Tell me something, Bambi. What’s a girl like you doing at a party like this? It hardly seems like your scene.”
“What do you know about my scene?” I question, feeling slightly offended even though he’s entirely accurate.
“I know it isn’t this. It’s probably some swanky soiree with champagne. Or even more likely, sitting in your room reading your romance novels and dreaming of your happily ever after.” I’m stunned into silence as he tosses his cigarette out the window and stalks toward me. By the time he stops, he’s so close that I can feel the heat radiating off him—or maybe that’s me. He bends down and places his lips against the shell of my ear. “Spoiler alert: none of it’s real.”
Just like that, he pulls away and slips past me, leaving the room and taking the warmth I felt with him.
I LIE IN MY bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard I try to fall asleep, I’m unsuccessful. It took another forty-five minutes before I found Tessa, and by then I was completely justified in wanting to go home. She decided to stay, but gave me her keys and told me she’d get a ride home from Easton in the morning.
If I thought Knox invaded my mind before, it doesn’t even compare to what it’s like now. I try my best to focus on something else to distract me, but nothing works. It always goes back to him.
The smell of his cologne.
The toned grid of his abs.
The feeling I got when his body was only inches from mine.
There’s more to him than meets the eye—I know it. I just never thought I’d be so compelled to figure him out. I want to get under his armor. To put the pieces of him together like a puzzle, and memorize every detail like my favorite book. Getting close to him is dangerous. He’s the kind of guy who could wreck me with the snap of his fingers. Still, I don’t care. For some reason, I’m not scared.
Maybe I’m not as smart as everyone thinks.
5
KNOX
The sunlight comes through the window and lands on my face, sending a piercing headache through my skull. It takes me a minute before I’m able to keep my eyes open without the room spinning, but when I do I realize I’m not alone. A naked blonde is face down on the bed, snoring quietly. Maybe a junior? Who the fuck knows. Judging by the lack of clothes and the used condom on the floor, I’m guessing I screwed her last night, but I don’t remember it at all.
I inch out of bed, careful not to wake her. I do not want to have to deal with some clingy bitch who thinks that because we fucked it makes us a thing now. Once I’m free, I grab my pants off the floor and slip them on, then head downstairs.
The place is a disaster, like it always is after one of our parties. Plastic cups and empty liquor bottles cover every possible surface. The couch is flipped onto its back. Glass from what used to be a vase is scattered across the floor. It’s a total shitshow, which is exactly the criteria for a good night.
Going into the garage, I open the second fridge and grab a beer. There’s no better cure for a hangover than hair of the dog, though I’m half convinced this is more of a comedown from the line of coke I did when I got here. I kick the door shut and head back inside, finding Easton and Stone fixing the couch while Tessa stands back and watches.
“You look like a hot mess,” I tell her with a snort.
She rolls her eyes and flips me off. Meanwhile, Easton turns around and checks her out. Her hair is piled on top of her head, and there’s a stain on her shirt that looks suspiciously like cum. The makeup that was perfectly done last night is smeared across her face. Still, he pulls her close.
“I think she looks good,” he compliments. “Nice and fucked, just the way I like her.”
Stone and I laugh while Tess smacks his arm and pushes him away. Zayn groans as he comes down the stairs, walking over to me and taking the beer from my hands.
“Aye!” I protest, but he doesn’t pause as he brings it to his lips.
“I need food,” he declares. “Diner?”
“I’m down,” Easton agrees. “Babe, you coming?”
Tessa shrugs. “Bring me home so I can shower and change, and then I’ll meet you there.”
As I go into the guest room to grab my shirt, the girl from last night wakes and gives me her best fuck-me smile. Nope. Not happening. I pick her clothes up off the floor and toss them onto the bed.
“You should get dressed. We’re all heading out, so you have to leave,” I say firmly before walking back out the door.
Downstairs, everyone looks exactly how I feel—tired, hungover, and beat to shit. Tessa rests her head against Easton’s shoulder with her eyes drooped almost closed. Gage and Stone are muttering something to each other, but I don’t think either of them are paying any attention. Zayn, however, perks up when he sees me.
“Ready to go? I’m fucking starved.”
“Yeah.”
I grab my jacket from the closet and pull it on as we all head for the door. Just as we step out onto the porch and Zayn goes to lock up, we hear someone running down the stairs. The girl I woke up next to slips out then turns to me and presses a kiss to my cheek.