I release a choked laugh into her shoulder, holding her just as tightly, knowing they would.
“None of this ‘I’m never going to see you again’ bullshit,” Nina says from over Tori’s shoulder, hands on her hips. “Alright?”
I nod, swiping the moisture from my cheeks, and force a smile. But there’s more to it than just missing my friends. I hate thinking about what might happen while I’m away. How can I keep the promise I made to make sure Tori graduates? And who will have Nina’s back when her need for respect gets the better of her? Then there’s my mom …
“Can I have this?” Nina asks, swirling in a yellow empire dress that still has the tag on it.
“Go for it,” I reply, my voice thick with emotion. “Yellow isn’t my color.”
I grip Tori by her shoulders so she can see how serious I am. “Promise me you’ll graduate.” She rolls her eyes. “Promise me.”
“Whatever.”
Her answer isn’t convincing, so I make sure mine is.
“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t.”
“I’ll graduate,” she drones with a heavy sigh. "But you'll be here. So stop. Okay?” I nod slightly. “I'll make Lincoln do my work while you’re away.”
I grin. I can already see it, Tori painting her nails while Lincoln patiently tries to explain the Pythagorean theorem. Good luck, Lincoln.
“And you,” I say to Nina, who is pulling her shirt back on. “Don’t put up with anything less than you deserve. Not in men, or in life. Please, get out of this soul-sucking town.”
With a mischievous gleam in her eye, Nina promises, “We’re not going anywhere without you.”
“Stop worrying about us,” Tori says dismissively. “We’ll be fine. Just do whatever you have to do to get back to us.”
I’m zipping up my last bag when a knock draws our attention. Niall fills the doorway dressed in a dark suit. His presence stills the room. “Girls.” Niall nods politely to Nina and Tori before directing his attention to me. “Are you ready, Lana?”
I shrug.
“Why don’t you go ahead and say goodbye. We need to get on the road.” He steps away, giving us privacy.
“Holy fuck, they are all perfect,” Nina exhales. “I still can’t believe he’s your lawyer.”
“Me neither,” I reply bitterly, still feeling the sting of betrayal.
“Text as soon as you get there,” Tori says, pulling me into another suffocating hug.
When she lets go, I look between them. “While I’m gone, can you check in on my mom?”
Tori avoids my gaze. But Nina nods. “Of course.”
“Thanks.”
I don’t watch them leave. I can’t. Instead, I busy myself with double checking my drawers, so they don’t see that I’m fighting to hold it together. They’re the only friends I’ve ever had, and they’ve always been there for me, especially every time things got bad. I can’t shake the feeling crawling around inside me that I won’t see them again. And I didn’t want the fear in my eyes to be the last thing they saw before they left.
I’m surprised to find the cop gone when I drag my bags into the living room. In his place is a tall, military looking guy standing by the door dressed in a black suit and a pressed white button-down.
“Jax will take your bags to the car,” Niall tells me as the man approaches. Reluctantly, I step aside to allow him access to my belongings. He easily slings the four bags and my backpack over his shoulders before disappearing down the stairs.
My mother rises from the couch, wearing an overly wide smile to conceal the tears shining in her eyes. She opens her arms and I step into her hug. She squeezes me tight. We’ve never been an overly affectionate family, so I savor this moment for as long as I can, inhaling the jasmine scent of her hair.
I step back and look at her, pleading. “Please go to your doctor’s appointment next week.” She smooths away the tears on my cheeks. She rescheduled the appointment a few weeks ago, making some excuse about needing to work or be at my court appearance. “Please tell me you’ll go?”
“I’ll go,” she says softly, her eyes flickering to meet mine briefly before fussing with my hair. She’s lying.
I open my mouth to tell her … so many things. To protect herself. Not to let anyone break her heart. To pay the gas bill that’s due next week. That I’ll be back as soon as I can. But I don’t say any of the thousand thoughts that rush through my mind. Instead, I look into her shimmering translucent blue eyes and smile, trying to silently reassure her that we’ll get through this—that she has nothing to worry about—because I can’t force the lies through my lips.
I turn toward Niall, who’s waiting by the door. He smiles gently at my mother. “I’ll take care of her.”
“Thank you,” she says, her voice a rasp of emotion.
I walk down the stairs with Niall behind me. I don’t look back. I can’t. Seeing her fragile and tormented face is not what I want to hold on to as I leave her behind. I have to believe she’ll be okay. That she will go to the doctor, and he’ll figure out what’s wrong and fix her. That she will become a strong, independent woman who realizes she doesn’t need a man to be happy. That true love is an illusion, and she’s better off surrounding herself with loyal friends, ending her search for him. I know none of this will ever happen, but I’d rather hold on to the delicate stem of hope.
I step out into the bright June sunshine and exhale, releasing the emotions that have stormed through me all day. That’s when I see the shiny black sedan parked in our pitted driveway. I truly thought I’d be transported to the school in a police car, so I’m not expecting Niall Harrison’s Jaguar and Mr. Crew-Cut standing beside it holding the back door open. I hesitate just a moment before entering, glancing around the neighborhood, absorbing its chaos as if for the last time. Then I duck my head and crawl inside, letting Jax block it all out with the click of a door.
Niall enters on the other side. There’s plenty of room on the expansive leather, so it doesn’t feel too awkward sharing the backseat with him.
“How long is the drive?” I ask.
“About four hours.” Niall pulls papers out of his briefcase.
"Do you have my phone? I was told they gave you my personal property bag when we left court today."
"I do, but not with me. I'll be sure to bring it to you when I come by on Sunday."
Which means I won't have my phone the entire weekend. I cross my arms in annoyance and slump against the door. “When can I come back?”
“I’ll try to arrange a visit for Thanksgiving.” My mouth drops in protest, but he cuts me off. “You’re still a person of interest in the Pixley case. It’s best if you aren’t in Sherling during the investigation. We don’t want to draw any more attention to you. Hopefully they’ll do their jobs, start looking at the evidence and stop relying on some anonymous phone call.”
I clench my jaw in silent defiance, instead of complaining about being sent away to begin with. Instead, I redirect my attention out the window, watching the town I grew up in, the only place I’ve ever been for nearly sixteen years, disappear. I won’t miss it. But I don’t want to be forced to leave. At the town line, I feel a shift in the air as if we’ve driven through an invisible barrier. And then it’s gone. My life. My friends. My family. Everything that was mine is no longer.