I only had a taste.
But I didn’t care.
Fear would only go where I allowed it, and I had no room for it here. Not when he would use it against me.
His chest brushed against mine and the hurricane in my stomach felt like it was falling lower and lower. I had no interest in whatever game he was playing, but I refused to back down. I stared up at him, a good foot over me when he was standing this close, and I prayed he could see my own fury staring back at him.
I hoped he could see that I wasn’t one of these people who was going to roll over just because he deemed it so.
But he wasn’t looking at my eyes.
He was staring at my mouth, and he suddenly looked like a different guy standing in front of me. The fury was still there, but it was clouded by something else. Something that reminded me of an animal that could eat me alive.
This was neither the guy on the beach nor the guy who wanted to destroy me.
“You smell good.” He pushed another piece of hair out of my face, but this time his thumb trailed down my neck and I knew he could feel my racing pulse.
I felt like I had whiplash from his change of pace, but I refused to let my guard down around him. That was exactly what he wanted.
“You don’t.” It was a lie. The intoxicating smell of him was deceptive. It put me at ease, like a clear night sky when all you could see was the stars. It was just another thing about him that was meant to trap you. To make you forget about the danger that hid just beyond your view.
But even knowing that, I couldn’t stop myself from breathing him in. He was so close, and even though I knew he was dangerous, I just wanted a glimpse.
Beck Clermont was nothing but cruel, but he was thrilling.
“You wound me.” He placed his hand over his heart, and I saw a sliver of his tattoo peek out from the edge of his t-shirt. The urge to find out what it was, was overwhelming. “Most girls tell me how much they love the way I smell.”
He was so cocky, so sure of himself, and I was sure that most girls did. But I wasn’t most girls.
“I’m sure they tell you lots of things you want to hear.” I straightened my spine and looked around. Almost everyone was near the fire, leaving Beck and me alone, and I hated that an ounce of fear ran through me. Beck was powerful when it came to Clermont Bay, and I didn’t want to know how far that power went. I didn’t want to know what he was capable of.
The malice he had already shown me was enough.
“But not you.” His chest rose and fell against mine, and I was sure that anyone who was watching us would think we were the opposite of what we were.
“Not me.”
I held my breath as he lifted his hand toward my face, and I could feel my knees shake as he ran his thumb over my bottom lip with a roughness that I felt all the way to my core.
Every time I had seen him, even through his cruelty, he had always been so obsessed with my lips. He was constantly looking at them and touching them when he had the chance.
I should have been repulsed.
What I shouldn’t have been doing was having the sudden urge for him to kiss me. It was crazy. I wasn’t an idiot. I knew exactly what kind of guy Beck was, but I still wanted him to kiss me.
My body pushed farther into his, and I swear I didn’t know how it happened. One moment I wanted nothing to do with him, and the next I felt like I would die if he didn’t do something. I squeezed my thighs together, begging them to stop the ache that pulsed between them, and I stared up at the guy who hated me.
And I could have sworn he wanted to kiss me too. Even with my lack of experience, I knew a guy didn’t look at a girl like he was looking at me if the only thing he wanted from her was for her to leave.
His hand touched my waist, half on my shirt, half on bare skin, and I didn’t dare look down. His fingers dug into me as if he was trying to hold me away from him while simultaneously wanting to pull me closer.
The arrogance in his gaze was gone, slipped away without his approval, and what was left behind was someone I felt desperate for. For a guy so confident in who he was, he looked lost, and it fueled me to think that I could have been the one thing to do that to him. That I could make him lose himself in a world that was built to satiate his every need.
I ran my tongue over my suddenly dry lips, and he watched the movement as his hand tightened against my waist. There was an edge of pain in his touch, and I knew I should have wanted it to end. But I didn’t.
“You’re fucking trouble.” He spoke as if he wasn’t even talking to me, as if he was simply thinking out loud, and I wanted him to say more.
“I’m nothing.” I shook my head. I was nothing to him, and I didn’t know if I was trying to convince myself or him. Whatever this was, it was nothing.
“You are.” His hand held me even tighter. The pain of Beck’s fingers like a brand on my skin. “You’re the same trash as your brother.”
He let me go, his hand acting like my center of gravity at my waist, and when his skin left mine, I felt like I was going to fall.
He stepped back from me, the lost boy from moments before buried beneath the guy he was now, the guy he always was.
He stared down at me with clear disgust on his face, and I didn’t know if he was revolted by himself or by me. But I knew with certainty that the moment where he looked like he could possibly want more from me was gone.
He didn’t say another word as he turned from me and made his way back to where his friends still stood. They were watching us, they probably had been the whole time, and I suddenly wondered if they hated me too.
Allie had told me that the three of them were more like brothers than friends, and I could tell by the way they still had their eyes on me as they laughed at something someone said that they didn’t trust me.
But I didn’t trust them either.
I didn’t trust anyone who could allow their friend to be so cruel while they simply sat back and watched.
I lifted the shitty beer to my mouth, and I swallowed every drop as I stared back at them. I didn’t care that Clermont Bay was their kingdom. I refused to play by the rules of a few privileged boys who thought they ran everything.
They were madness, and I refused to be a pawn in their game. Whatever it was that they wanted from me, they would have to get it from somewhere else.
I could already feel the one beer buzzing through me, or maybe it was still the effect of having Beck so close, but I knew that it was a feeling I didn’t want to let go of. Not yet. I poured another beer from the keg, and I downed half of it before I managed to move my feet back to where Allie stood.
She was still talking cheerfully with some of her classmates, and she grinned as soon as I made my way to her side.
“What was that about?” She bumped my shoulder, and I knew she meant Beck. She was as shocked as I was by his behavior at the country club, but for some reason, I didn’t want to tell her the truth. At least not all of it.
Not the part where I stood there like a fool while I half-expected him to kiss me.
“I don’t know.” I shook my head and took another sip of the beer. “I think he might be insane.”
She laughed and crashed her cup into mine. A bit of beer spilled over the side, and I tried to relax. I could avoid Beck and his friends for the rest of the night. I was here to enjoy my night with Allie, and I was determined to do so.