The sound of chair legs scraping against the floor darts my attention to Pastor Jeffries, who is on his feet. His eyes narrow at me and I don’t think God would be happy with the look he’s throwing my way right now. “Young man, you have some nerve showing up here.” He whisper-talks as he jerks me by the arm and out the door I just walked in.
“Woah, Pastor. Chill the he..heck out.” I correct myself, just in the nick of time. “I just need to talk to Willa.” He gives my arm a shove and he’s lucky he has God on his side because I’d be unleashing the devil if he were anyone else.
“You stay away from my daughter.”
“Stepdaughter,” I retort, but quickly eat my words because it seems to do anything but calm him.
“Willa is my daughter and after what you did to her, you have no business even coming to this church.”
“Hmm, I didn’t know churches discriminated against sinners. What’s going on tonight? Open Bible study?” I arch a brow. “Maybe I wanna join. Ya know? Let Jesus in and all that jazz.”
"Even Jesus can't save you, son." He pats a hand to my shoulder and attempts to spin me around to face my car that's parked right in front.
"Now, what kind of pastor talks like that?" I push past him and pull the unlatched door back open. When I step inside, it's like deja vu when everyone looks back at me. Ignoring all but one person, I walk over and take one of the two empty seats at the end of the joined tables. They're all lined up to make a square with an empty space in the middle. The smell of the room floods me with memories of Colby's funeral. I'm not sure if it's the smell, or the attention laser-focused on me. That day, everyone watched me as I sat quietly with my hands in my lap and my head hung low. I still remember seeing Willa at the funeral. In fact, the memory of her sticks out like a sore thumb. Even then, she carried this calming aura. The difference is, today my head is held high. I have just as much of a right to be here as all these other people. They sin. They fuck up.
Willa is sitting directly across from me. Her eyebrows are pinched together and her cheeks are tinged pink. When Pastor Jeffries walks back in and takes the only empty seat beside me, I let out a breathy huff. "Where were we?" he asks, looking Willa dead in the eye.
"The Christmas Pageant. We were agreeing on a timeframe for each set." Willa chokes out as she taps a pen to an open notebook.
I guess I'm not at Bible study after all. When Pastor Jeffries begins talking to the group, I catch Willa's attention and mouth the words, "Can we talk?"
In small but rapid movements, she shakes her head then rolls her eyes away from me. We need to talk, damnit, and she needs to tell me the truth. My hand slaps softly on the table. Not hard enough to get everyone's attention, but enough to grab hers and a few others. "Yes." I mouth again, then nod my head toward the door.
"Willa Jean. Please handle this and then come back inside. Alone." Pastor Jeffries speaks sharply.
When her chair slides back and she stands up, I do the same. She's fast as she makes her way through the door. Her long navy blue skirt drags on the floor and her flip-flops smack against the bottom of her feet as she walks.
Tugging her beige cardigan tightly around her, she looks down at her feet as she speaks. "What are you doing here, Lars?" Her voice is calm and collected and I'm starting to wonder if this girl has the capability of getting mad.
"We need to talk about this. Were you lying?"
"Not here. We can't."
"Do they know?"
She raises her voice. "Lars! Please just stop. Go home and we can talk tomorrow."
I take a stance and cross my arms over my chest, just as she is, and step up in front of her. I raise my voice even higher. "No. I'm not leaving until I have answers."
Looking at the door in panic, she grabs me by the arm and pulls me down the cement steps. "Would you be quiet? Everyone will hear you. I'm already going to be in enough trouble because you showed up here." Her hand flaps in the air. "You can't be here, Lars."
"Fine. How much longer is this meeting?"
"We're almost done. I'll meet you at Miner Park. Just go." She gives me a shove toward my car.
Taking steps backward until my back hits the car, I watch her stand there, waiting for me to leave. How could a girl like her fall for a guy like me? She's so angelic and sweet. I’m nothing but a fuck-up. Yet, for years she watched me and waited for me until I came for her, and when I did, I stole her innocence and ran like hell. I guess that's what the devil does after all—preys on the weak and pure.
Spinning around, I walk to the car. When I look up, she’s gone. Just like that night. I drove her to her house and told her I’d call her later while I bragged to the guys in a group text about accomplishing my mission. The door slammed shut and by time I realized she was out the car, her porch light was off and she was behind the closed door.
Shifting in drive, I take off. The small space in the car begins to feel suffocating. I tug at the collar of my shirt then roll the window down, letting in some fresh air. Tapping the call button on the dash, I speak out loud, “Call Tommy.”
It rings twice before he picks up. “It’s about damn time. Where the hell have you been?”
“Something came up that I had to deal with.”
“What could be more important than making sure we don’t spend the rest of our damn lives in prison?”
I could tell him that I’m already in my own personal prison, but I need to have that conversation with Willa first. “Just some shit. Don’t worry about it. Where do we stand? What’s going on?”
“You need to call him.”
Flicking the blinker up, I look both ways at the four-way stop before taking a left to Miner Park. “Who? Anderson?”
“No. Zed. He won’t talk to Talon for obvious reasons. He’s ignoring my calls. You two have always been the closest. We think he’ll reason with you.”
I let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Zed. Reason with someone? Not a chance.”
“Fine, then I guess we just wait until this all blows up in our faces.”
He’s got a point. Zed and I have always been pretty close. That was before he turned on me and used my sexual relationship with Madison against me. Right before Halloween, Zed got shitfaced and decided to crawl through my window like he always does. I should have known better than to leave it unlocked. He dropped on the floor the same time my boxers did while I was standing in front of Madison with my dick in her face.
At that time, I was more pissed that he cock-blocked me. He swore that he’d never say a word. Until he threatened to do just that if I didn’t bring Marni to him. So I got a gun and pointed it at her while I drove her three hours to Briarwood. It was one of my bigger fuckups, but it won’t be my worst—I’m sure of that.
I can already feel the heat of the flame and the last thing we need is for this shit to blow up any more than it already has. “I’ll call him.” I’ve got a few minutes before Willa will be here. We need to try anything at this point. “Hey, I have to finish dealing with….something, but when I’m done, I’m heading back to Talon’s. We need to have a meeting. It’s my round and I’m ready for the games to begin.” I hit the end call button on the dash and shift the car into park in front of the gazebo at Miner Park.