‘It’s amazing,’ Honor breathes and I can’t help but agree. Now, standing in the jungle, listening to the sweet songs of the birds and the frantic whooping of the monkeys, I can’t believe I ever considered not coming. It’s breathtaking.
‘Mind you don’t eat those,’ Jeffers says, pointing at a tree near the beach. It looks like it’s growing yellow apples with little green poops hanging out of their bottoms. ‘Cashews,’ he says, clocking the blank looks on our faces. ‘If they’re not ripe they’re poisonous.’
‘Yes.’ Anuman nods knowingly. ‘I tell you all what to eat later. First, we build shelter, then fire.’
For the first hour or so we work enthusiastically, laughing and chatting as we split the trees with axes, hammer them into the ground and then fashion a roof made out of banana leaves, but when Anuman tells us that this is our sleeping shelter and we have to make another one to store and prepare food, the excuses come thick and fast: Honor’s got a splinter, Danny feels like he’s got sunstroke and Meg’s hurt her back. I watch, enviously, as they trail down to the sea, strip off their clothes and dive into the icy blue, clear water.
‘It’s all right,’ Milo says, shooting me a look. ‘If you want a swim go and have one. Jeffers and I can cope. Can’t we, Jeffers?’
Jeffers looks up from the tree he’s splitting, a look of grim determination on his face. ‘Sure. Go have fun, Jessie.’
I pass a hand over my brow then push my fingers through my hair. It’s absolutely soaking with sweat. I feel hot and heavy in my long-sleeved linen top and cargo shorts and I can’t think of anything nicer than peeling off my clothes and jumping into the sea.
‘Jess,’ Milo lowers his voice. ‘You don’t have to be self-conscious here, it’s just us lot.’
‘I’m not self-conscious. I just don’t fancy a swim. OK?’ I glare at him then stalk off into the jungle, hot tears pricking at my eyes.
Come after me, I think as I continue to stomp away, annoyed, but not so angry that I don’t check the ground for snakes and spiders.
But of course he doesn’t and I feel like a dick for even hoping that he would. He’s not a mind reader. He was right. I am self-conscious. He knows it. I know it. We all know it. For the first couple of days of the holiday Mum needled at me, telling me that no one would be able to see my burns unless they were standing right next to me, and that as soon as I was in the pool I’d look just like the other kids. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could imagine how they’d react – Danny would gawp, Honor’s blue eyes would grow big and round and Milo would look horrified. But more than that, I was afraid of sympathy, silence and awkwardness. I was afraid that, whenever they looked at me they wouldn’t see me anymore, they’d just see what I’d been through. I want to cut through all the bullshit and the softly-softly, the concerned looks and silence when Tom’s name is mentioned and face it straight on. I want to sit them all down and tell them, in my own words, what happened. But I can’t. I’m afraid that if I open the lid on my emotions I’ll never be able to close it again. Now two fat self-pitying tears roll down my cheeks and I choke back a sob.
I stop walking.
So much for staying in control. I may as well try and tame a whirlwind.
‘Stop it, Jessie,’ I say aloud.
A loud whooping noise, high in the treetops above me, makes me freeze. What the—
I press my hands to my chest as a grey-brown macaque monkey with pointy ears and a long, solemn face leaps from the top of one tree to another with its baby clinging to its belly. As it lands the air fills with the sound of beating wings as half a dozen multicoloured birds flutter out from the leaves and soar into the sky. It’s such a beautiful, breathtaking sight that I instantly forget all the crap that’s been bothering me and stare in wonder.
A hand on my shoulder makes me jump. It’s Jeffers, his baseball cap pulled low over his eyes and his axe resting on one shoulder.
‘You shouldn’t go wandering around on your own. It’s not safe.’
‘I know… I…’ I trail off and I turn to walk back the way I came but Jefferson touches my shoulder again.
‘Jessie.’ He gives me a searching look. ‘It isn’t my place to say this but I think you should keep away from Milo.’
‘What?’ I stare at him in surprise. Jeffers isn’t big on heart-to-hearts and he’s never commented on my friendship with Milo before. As kids they were as thick as thieves and, while they’re not as close as they used to be, they still get on. ‘What do you mean? Why?’
‘I know you like him, but I think you’ll get hurt.’
I’m so flabbergasted I don’t know what to say. It’s no secret to the others that Milo and I have a bit of a chequered history. Ever since we were twelve one of us has had a crush on the other – but never at the same time. I thought he was gross when he liked me – tall and gangly with bad skin, obsessed with computer games and sick jokes. I changed my mind on a group holiday the following year. He’d quietened down a bit and I found his aloofness really intriguing. Only he wasn’t interested anymore. According to Meg, he was obsessed with a girl at school. Then the next year we met I’d started seeing someone at my school. And so it’s continued. Milo and I aren’t so much star-crossed lovers as two planets in entirely different universes.
‘What makes you think that?’ I call after Jefferson, but he’s already disappeared into the thick green undergrowth.
Chapter 4
DANNY
Danny’s heart jumps as the spark from the flint and steel he’s rubbing together leaps onto the soft coconut matting and a tiny flame licks at one of the fibres.
‘Gently, gently,’ Anuman urges as he gathers the tiny bundle in his hands and blows on the flame. ‘Too hard will kill it.’
Come on, come on, Danny prays as he blows softly. Apart from Jefferson, none of the others has managed to get a fire started and he can feel their eyes on him, urging him to fail. But he won’t let that happen. He doesn’t give up.
‘Yes, yes,’ Anuman says as the flames grow and spread. Danny looks at Honor victoriously as he gently places the tiny fire on top of the pile of sticks and kindling that sits between the sleeping shelter and the cooking shelter.
‘Good man!’ Jefferson slaps him on the back and Danny basks in his own sense of achievement.
‘Proud of me?’ He hooks an arm around Honor’s shoulders and pulls her close.
‘’Course.’ She turns her face up to his and closes her eyes as he kisses her.
Life, Danny thinks, as the sun slowly sinks over the sea, striping the sky orange, pink and red, couldn’t get much better than this.
Danny dips his fingers into his metal dish then grimaces as he shovels piping hot fish into his mouth. It’s full of bones, and each time he plucks one out of his mouth it makes him gag. His friends eat their fish too, only their murmurs of appreciation fill the air, cutting through the pop and crackle of the fire. It’s dark and, other than the fire, the only light is from two flaming torches – one on either side of the shelters – that Anuman fashioned from coconut shells and thin tree trunks. The only thing slightly spoiling Danny’s pleasure is the fact that he didn’t manage to catch the fish they’re all eating. He, Honor, Meg, Milo and Jessie dangled their rods off the rocks at the edge of the beach for what felt like hours but, despite a few nibbles, none of them landed a fish. Thank God then for Anuman and his net. He and Jefferson took the boat out and returned with a haul big enough for a feast.