Like Cruz’s face.
A wrenching agony tries to blind me as the image of Jade’s bloody, limp body takes over my mind for a second.
She deserves vengeance.
And I will happily dish out that retribution.
As long as Arley doesn’t see me do it. She can’t be exposed to that shit. I need a way to keep her safe and kill everyone involved in Jade’s murder.
Dammit! How the hell am I supposed to do that?
My promise to Jade tries to rise above the red fire raging in my belly.
“Promise me you’ll get her back.”
“Take care of her.”
“Legally, she’s yours.”
I can’t believe Jade did that.
She trusts me with her kid.
She sees me as…
I shake my head, managing to free a cigarette, and pop it between my lips.
She sees me as Jade’s father. Definitely not the asshole I truly am.
The guy who wants to maim and kill.
The guy who left an innocent chick standing alone in a rest stop.
“Shit!” I shout, the cigarette dropping out of my mouth. I catch it and shove it back in my pocket, snapping it in half in the process. “Dammit!”
Gripping the wheel, I chew the inside of my cheek, glancing in the rearview mirror again.
But all I see is my grandfather.
He’s standing beside me, leaning his forearms on the wooden fence I’ve just spent the last few minutes kicking the hell out of.
“All you’re gonna do is hurt your foot.”
“Better that than Brody’s face!” I spat back. “See, Grandpa? I’m getting better. I’m im-prov-ing.” One kick per syllable, and yeah, my toes were starting to ache.
“Stop that now.” Grandpa snapped his fingers, and I went still, my chest heaving. “Slow down those breaths, son.”
I wanted to tell him to eff off, but I didn’t want to get stuck doing twenty freaking push-ups again.
Gritting my teeth, I glared at the horizon, the sun setting behind the mountains and painting the sky orange and pink.
I wanted to enjoy its beauty, but I couldn’t. I was too mad.
Brody totally sold me out.
The little narc.
He was just pissed that I took off and left him and Jake to muck out the stables alone. But I was trying to get Jake’s new toy finished, and the workshop was calling me. Scooping manure or sanding wood; it wasn’t a difficult choice.
But then Brody went and told on me. Frickin’ little brothers. Does loyalty mean nothing to them?
Sure, he didn’t know I was in the workshop, but it wasn’t like I could tell the truth in front of them, because that would have spoiled Jake’s surprise.
I thought Grandpa might get it, but he told me off for abandoning my brothers.
“You can’t be selfish, Deacon. This family is a team, and you let them down today.”
I stormed out with a roar and went to town on the fence.
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I tried to breathe slowly, but it was too damn hard.
“You’re doing great.”
I glanced up at Grandpa. He smiled at me, and I just scowled back, huffing some more.
It only made his grin grow wider. “You’ve got fire, son. I really love that about you. It’s gonna take you far, as long as you can control it.”
I rolled my eyes, not really in the mood to talk about freaking control again.
“Thing is…” Grandpa turned around to face me, leaning his back against the fence. “A strong person like yourself has to be careful that they don’t let their passion push people away. Whether you like it or not, you need your brothers. You need me. You need people in your life who are going to love and help you. You push everyone away and what are you left with?” He lightly touched my chest with his finger. “You. That’s it. Just you.”
I looked away from him, not wanting to admit that maybe he was just a little bit right. I’d always been so determined to look after myself, but the idea of being left with just me was a killer. I’d drive myself crazy.
“You want to be all alone?”
I shook my head.
“Good. Because human beings were designed to interact with each other. We’re at our best when we’re showing love and care to other people. Like when you’re working on Jake’s toy for him. You feel good about yourself, right?”
“That’s what I was doing this afternoon! But now I’m getting in trouble for it!” I flung my arms wide.
“You need to pick your timing, son. Sneaking away to work on the toy when everyone else is having some downtime is perfect. Taking off to do something you enjoy instead of pitching in to do the right thing is just plain wrong, and you know it.”
I huffed and kept my eyes drilled on that orange sky.
“Deacon, you’re a good person. You have a good heart. You just need to listen to it.”
Grandpa’s voice is shunted away by a thought I don’t want to acknowledge. It barrels away the memory and haunts me with a thought I won’t be able to ignore.
I shouldn’t have left Kena.
Here’s me wanting to go and save Arley. Save an innocent girl’s life, when I’m leaving another one to… who knows?
I stole her car. I robbed her. And then I just abandoned her.
Crap, I even suggested that she try to hitch a ride somewhere.
What if she gets picked up by some perv? Some sleazoid who’ll expect a little something for the free ride he’s offering.
The thought sends an icy spike right through me, and I wrench the wheel, the tires screeching as I do a reckless U-turn and head back to the rest stop.
“Freaking heart,” I mutter under my breath.
But then my lips twitch just a little.
Dammit, why does it feel better to do the right thing?
It’s a pain in the ass!
13
Surrounded
The men amble toward me while my brain tries to calculate how heinous this situation is.
Five men.
Three huge. One skinny. One short.
Age?
I don’t know. They look youngish but older than me. So, like, maybe early twenties?
Two are vaping.
One is licking his lips. Gross!
Three have tats—a snake slithering up a fat arm toward a skull lying in a bed of roses, and the short guy has a chaotic jumble of ink all up the side of his neck and beneath his shirt. I wonder how far it goes over his body and if there’s more hiding beneath his straggly long hair.
The guy next to him is a total skinhead. He’s got a dragon tattoo breathing fire around his ear.
All of them—all five of them—are staring me down, walking toward me like a pride of lions and I’m an injured gazelle.
Keep walking, Kena.
Freaking run!
But my legs falter. I stumble in the dirt, my breath catching as I right myself and find them that much closer.
“Hey, sweetie. Need a ride?” The short one starts licking his lips again.
My stomach twists into a painful knot.
“No, thanks,” I whisper. I spin around only to find his buddy right behind me.
How the hell did he get there?
Freaking ninjas.
I swallow and shuffle back, wishing I had pigeon eyes. I could use the 360 vision right now.