If you ask me, someone’s having a hard time facing the music since losing his girl. But, according to the masses, these wounds are self-inflicted.
Right?
Unless, of course … that’s not entirely true.
We’ll have to stay tuned to see where the cookie crumbs lead. And you all know I’ll be the first to tell you more as soon as there’s more to tell ;)
Later, Peeps.
—P
Chapter 7
WEST
A bag of ice melts against my knuckles, per my mother’s request. While she’s concerned about bruising and swelling, I don’t give a fuck. My mind’s on the fight, on what Ricky said afterward.
The part about no one else in Blue’s family needing another Golden with his hands around their throat.
I’ve gone over it a million times, gone over what he could’ve meant, and I keep coming up empty. He can only be talking about Vin, but beyond that, I’m lost.
Since making it home a few hours ago, I’ve thought several times about driving up and down every street of South Cypress, looking for Ricky, asking around until I find someone who knows him. But not knowing his last name makes him a ghost. There’s also the fact that I’m pretty sure no one on that side of town would give up info on him even if they had it.
But damn … he knows something.
Much more than I do.
“All right, jackass. No more side-stepping. No more being dodgy and shit,” Dane asserts. “Sit your ass down and start talking, because neither one of us is leaving until you tell us what the hell is going on.”
These are the first words spoken as he and Sterling barge in and lock the door behind them, doing some kind of bad cop/bad cop routine. Both stand posted at the entrance of my bedroom, arms folded over their chests.
Mom tried the same thing after the doorman called ahead to tell her I was on my way up and had clearly been in a fight. Difference is, she’s not nearly as persistent as these two dicks. They’re done letting me get by without giving straight answers.
Which is why I know I won’t be able to wait them out like I’d done with her.
Neither wavers as they stare me down. In fact, the longer I make them wait, they glare harder.
All my life, I’ve shielded them from certain realities. Not because they can’t handle shit, but because why the fuck would I put Vin’s BS in their heads? Given the option, I wouldn’t even want to know what I know. Seemed unfair to dump it on them, too.
But if I’m being honest, I’m tired. Tired of being the sole keeper of my father’s secrets. Tired of trying to figure things out on my own. Tired of being the only bad guy when I definitely don’t hold that title alone.
When I drop down onto the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, I realize I’m done holding it all in. Right or wrong, I’m ready to spill everything I know to the two people I trust most. Ricky’s comment—and the questions it has me asking myself—might be the reason I’m suddenly over it.
“The first time I realized Dad’s a world-class asshole, I was eight,” I confess. “Sneaking into his truck to surprise him on his birthday gave me a ringside seat to him getting head from some random bitch who works for him.”
There’s a weight that lifts off me the second the words leave my mouth, but in no time, it’s replaced with guilt. For having just shifted that burden to my brothers’ shoulders.
“He told me to stop crying and to man up when he realized what I saw. Then, he told me I’d break Mom’s heart if I opened my mouth about it,” I add. “After that, there were clues here and there—a condom wrapper underneath the backseat, sick fucking phone conversations I’ve overheard. But, more recently, there was a picture.”
Instead of explaining, I go for my phone and scroll through the gallery. Dane and Sterling hesitate to leave their post at the door, but eventually step closer. When I lift the screen, showing them the image I found in the safe months ago—covering her tits with my thumb, of course—they both look as confused as I did first laying eyes on it.
“Southside?” Dane questions.
“You think she and Dad are…” Sterling’s voice trails off before finishing his thought.
“Found it on a phone in his safe. The day I stole his credit card,” I explain, lowering my own phone back to the pocket of my sweats.
“This is why you went after her,” Dane finally understands.
“It is,” I admit, “but a lot’s gone down since then.”
Including my stupid ass falling for this girl, without any clear resolution at that.
I sigh, remembering how sure I was about everything back then. How positive I was that she deserved everything I did to her. It was all so black and white.
“That why you freaked out with what her ex said today? You think he knows how Vin and Southside are connected?” Dane asks next.
I shrug. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think anymore.”
Which is true. There’s so much more to tell them, but I don’t even know where to start, or what’s true and what’s a lie.
“Before regionals, when Vin came down to talk, it was about the pics of me and Southside in the pool. He insisted that I stay away from her, admitted they were a thing, then claimed she was only using me to hurt him because he broke things off.”
“He admitted it?” Sterling asks, prompting me to nod. “And you’re sure it’s not bullshit?”
My eyes fall shut and, just like that, I’m back at that night, back in that hotel room. Staring into Southside’s eyes, I could’ve sworn whatever she felt was real. Could’ve sworn it had nothing to do with revenge and had everything to do with her and me.
But then, there were Vin’s words.
“At the time I couldn’t see him copping to something like that if it weren’t true, but … now I’m wondering if I got it wrong.”
My head spins, knowing I have only a few pieces of the puzzle. Knowing I don’t even know where those pieces fit.
“If you were wrong,” Sterling reasons, “that means whatever he’s actually covering up is somehow worse than letting his son think he’d screw a high school girl.”
An affair made so much sense. I mean, this is Vin we’re talking about. Cheating comes as naturally to him as breathing. Not to mention, Southside fits his type to a tee. And he sure as shit doesn’t want me connected to her, but now nothing I know adds up.
Nothing.
When I lean forward and grip my head, my brothers are silent. They have no idea how it feels to question whether I could’ve fucked this all up because of another of our father’s mind games.
“Don’t spiral.” Dane’s words are stern, spoken at the precise moment I need to hear them.
“Let’s backtrack to the video,” Sterling cuts in. “Is there a connection? Did you leak it to get revenge because of what Vin told you?”
My stomach’s in knots now.
“No,” I sigh. “It wasn’t me. Parker’s the only bitch twisted enough to do shit like that.”
I’m not looking up at either of their faces, but I imagine the looks they’re giving me right now.