What if Beck fumbles the études, the Maestro’s precious études? A cold shock of dread numbs his spine.
Every player, every piece, makes Beck feel like he’s moving blindfolded towards a cliff. One slip and he’s over.
The pieces are all under ten minutes, although one girl pushes to the very last second with her Rachmaninoff concerto. Beck’s playing two Chopin études, back to back, numbers eleven and twelve, and it should take him six and a half minutes.
Unless he passes out in the middle which, let’s face it, is highly probable.
The rabid little Erin is directly before Beck – which is terror because she’s wickedly good and melts the audience’s hearts with her petite features and winning smile. Her hands dance an impossibly fast Liszt piece in B flat with a flawless finish. The audience are on their feet with applause.
When Erin struts off the stage like a sparkling cupcake of doom, she smirks in Beck’s direction. ‘Say bye-bye to the trophy, Keverich.’
Keverich.
It’s the heaviest name in the world.
Every single thought flees Beck’s head.
Everything is
fragments.
No, no, he can’t be like this—
Pull yourself together, Schwachkopf.
They’re ready for him to go on. The Maestro’s fingers wrap around his arm, the only pressure keeping him from floating away. The world is a broken mirror, each shard reflecting his terrified face.
‘Do not fail,’ she hisses.
Beck’s legs take him onstage. The silence pounds a symphony on his temples. The stage smells of wax floors and hot lights and shined leather. He tugs at his cuffs, wishes them longer, stops because he’s being conspicuous. The lights are so bright the audience is reduced to unidentifiable black blobs.
Is that supposed to make them less daunting? Instead of eyes, he’s watched by a sea of faceless ghouls.
He’s at the piano. Meine Güte, it’s huge.
The audience shifts, trying to remain patient after the hours of music, wanting to leave and hear the judges confirm their personal favourites as winners. Beck will be unmemorable – too gangly to be cute, too old to be incredible, too stupid, stupid, stupid. The piano is a beast and it owns him.
Stop cowering. He’s done championships before. He’s played in bigger halls.
This one shouldn’t be different.
He slides on to the piano stool, still warm.
What if they picked him for last because he’s a Keverich? This kid will bring down the house, they probably surmised, if he’s anything like his mother.
But he’s not. They’ve cut out his heart by making him last.
Beck’s hands hover over the keys – rows of black and white teeth.
Play Chopin. Play fast and wild and prove yourself.
Just play the notes.
Notes.
Play.
Notes.
What – what – what is he meant to play?
Time knots around his throat. Hurry up. Think. He rakes desperately through his mind for the curls of notes he’s practised all year, but the Chopin has gone.
There are no notes.
No. This can’t happen to him.
Beck raises his head and sees the Maestro and the co-ordinator hovering at the edge of the curtains, petrified or furious, or both simultaneously. Stage fright doesn’t happen with this level of competition. Shouldn’t happen. They’re better than this. He’s better than this.
BUT HE HAS NO NOTES.
The Maestro won’t stand for this – she’ll think he’s doing it on purpose.
Play something.
The Maestro will kill him.
Play something.
A wave sweeps over the audience, a murmur of confusion, a whisper of empathy at this poor darling trapped on stage with no notes. What a sad way to end an evening. They’ll remember him for sure.
Play. Play. Oh – please – just – PLAY.
And he does.
At first Beck doesn’t know what it is. They’re notes, so that’s a good start – but it’s not Chopin’s whispered opening and launch into a sharp rain of fast notes. This is dark and heavy, with bass chords that would make Rachmaninoff proud and an accompanying melody light as air. The music is sugar and charcoal. The bass crashes with something viciously violent in Beck’s soul. So he repeats that part because it feels so good.
This piano will not make a fool of him. So he slams his fingers across the keys and owns it.
It’s not Chopin.
Don’t think about it now.
Beck’s fingers calm and skate to the high registers, adding something sweet to the feast of darkness. It aches in minor, like butterflies and broken wings. If the audience doesn’t lose some tears over this, they have no soul.
He leaves the butterflies bleeding over their wings and descends back to the pits of volcanoes and terror.
He plays like it’s his last moment on earth. He plays so he feels like crying.
And then it’s done.
Silence.
Sweat trickles down his forehead – sweat and tears and horror. They don’t know if they can clap because this isn’t a carefully metered classical piece they expected. It isn’t on the programme. The judges – oh, the judges. He forgot he forgot he forgot—
He snaps to his feet, ready to bolt off the stage, but his legs are weak and it’s all he can do to turn around and bow. That’s when he realises they are clapping. It’s not tentative or polite – it’s bold and excited and amazed. There are flashes of colour and jewels and glints of teeth in smiling mouths as they stand. Every single person stands. Each clap says what did we just hear?
What did he just play?
The notes he’s been doodling on his homework and tapping on his thigh all the way to the concert hall?
Beck finishes his stiff bow and walks off the stage. He left his lungs on the piano seat. He can’t seem to breathe.
The applause fades as a microphone blasts to life – but Beck can’t focus on words. Someone hands him a cold bottle of water and he slinks to a chair. Sits. Rolls the icy bottle over his forehead. His shirt sticks to his back and he feels hotter than the sun.
Where’s the Maestro?
He blinks through a curtain of sweat and held-back tears and sees her. No eye contact. But Joey goggles at him.
He feels sick. Not nerves sick, fever sick, like he needs to cool down immediately or go supernova.
Backstage is a buzz around him, as notes are compared and the trophies are rolled out by stagehands. The co-ordinator flaps around trying to organise the kids so they’ll be ready to walk onstage when called. Someone’s parents are crying.
Then the microphone crackles and words smash into Beck’s ears.
‘… an unfortunate mistake which leads us to regretfully disqualify contestant number ten, Keverich, Be …’
No.
He risks a glance at the Maestro. She’s been carved from marble, every muscle taut and frozen.
The judge continues with, ‘Though Keverich’s performance was the most extraordinary thing I’ve encountered in thirty years of judging, it was not the required piece for this classical championship. Now, we move to the awarding of …’
There are people talking to the Maestro. Her answers come slathered in a thick accent.
Beck zones out. He touches his own forehead and despite the galaxy exploding inside him, he’s glacial cold. He feels dead. Bury him, please. What has he done? What has he done? He shuts his eyes against the burn of tears.