My throat seized up, unable to say the words, unable to find my strength. Everyone else was inside of the fenced area but giving us privacy. Still … a few would hear.
‘Demi, you’re scaring me, love, and I’m not sure how much more I can take.’
A tear slid down my cheek. “Sawyer, the Paladins are … they’re in rough shape. Their crops have a black fungus and the land is dying. On top of that, their children being born are human. All because they don’t have an acting alpha.”
Sawyer’s eyes widened. “Human? What do you mean?”
“They aren’t like city wolves. Their wolf is more tied to alpha magic and the land than it is to genetics I guess. I don’t understand it all. I just know that I can’t turn my back on them. They are a beautiful people.”
Sawyer rubbed his temples and nodded. “Okay. Alright, we will figure it out. You can be their alpha and I’ll be the Werewolf City alpha, and I’ll build a fucking mansion right on the center line of our two lands if I have to, Demi. Whatever you need. Whatever it takes to keep us together.”
The sob I had been keeping inside ripped from my throat then and Sawyer frowned, reaching for me.
“I thought that was a good thing to say? Why are you crying?” The poor guy looked so confused, I knew I just needed to come out with it. He was so fucking perfect and he didn’t even know.
“Sawyer, I can’t just declare myself their alpha like you can. I have to earn it,” I told him.
He went very still then, eyes thinning to slits. “How?” His voice was thick with his wolf and I knew what he was thinking: a barbaric dominance fight, but it was so much worse than that.
I swallowed hard. “I need to go away for a few days … maybe longer. I need to go into the Dark Woods and—”
“The Dark Woods!” he shouted, and half the warriors nearest us turned to stare, open-mouthed.
I pulled him deeper into the overhang of the roof, leaning against the wall of the building as the low, flickering, light cast macabre shadows over Sawyer’s face. The scent of mildew surrounded us and I almost wanted to cry. This was so not the glamourous wedding day I wanted. “Once I’m in the Dark Woods, I have to find some magic cave. Alone. Only then can I return as alpha.”
Sawyer tipped his head back and laughed, a deep throaty laugh that was full of sarcasm. “Send my future wife into the Dark Woods alone? Over my dead fucking body, Demi.”
I sighed. I knew it would be another fight, and I was prepared for that, but he hadn’t even heard the worst of it.
“Sawyer, it’s normally a three-day trip…” I chewed my lip and his chiseled jaw clenched.
“Normally?” His piercing blue eyes thinned to slits.
“It took my biological father three years. The woods trick you and only reveal the cave when you are ready or something. That’s why I came in person to see you. I don’t want to leave anything up to chance.” I grasped his hand, pleased to see he was still wearing his father’s wedding ring that I’d placed on his finger before I left. “Marry me? Tonight. Right now? It will ensure that if I get lost, the curse won’t take you or your mom or Sage or anyone you love.”
He stared at me … frozen, eyes wide. “You’re serious? That’s why you wore the dress? Demi…” He pulled his hand from mine and massaged his chest as if he were feeling physical pain. “I can’t let you go into the Dark Woods alone if that’s what you’re asking.”
Here we go.
“I’m not asking,” I said, my throat tightening to the point of pain as I swallowed my sobs. “I’m going with or without your permission, Sawyer. I’m asking you to make me your wife tonight so I don’t have to worry about you while I’m out there.”
His head reeled back in shock. “Demi, three years. You said three years.”
I grabbed the sides of his face. “No. That was Run. It won’t be me. I’ll be back in three days, a week tops. I will NOT get lost.”
His chest heaved as he stared into my eyes. “What if, after we win the war, we invited all of the Paladin to live here. We can feed them and—”
“The babies, Sawyer, they’re being born human, without magic. And soon the people will follow.”
He frowned. “I mean, being human isn’t the worst thing—”
I scoffed. “Okay, let’s rip your wolf away from you and see how you feel.”
He winced. “You’re right, it’s awful, but Demi … the Dark Woods … alone.”
“Sawyer, I know you think I’m fragile, but I’m not. I can do this.” I squared my shoulders in grim determination and Sawyer’s lips quirked.
“My love, you’re about as fragile as a bomb.”
I chuckled. “I need that on a t-shirt.”
Sawyer laced his fingers through mine and then looked down to his foot, hiking up his pantleg to show me the ankle monitor. It was glowing a sickly green. “I can’t follow you, babe. As much as I would want to go with you, I couldn’t. The witches have been able to keep them from tracking me with this, but they can’t get it off.”
And even if he could, he wasn’t allowed. Plus we were at war, he had to be there for his people.
I nodded.
“You sure you want to do this? Go into the Dark Woods, alone and prove yourself as a Paladin alpha? All of it?”
I thought of all the people I had met today, and of the sweet man, Red Moon, my grandfather who’d stepped over the line into Ithaki land to help me. I thought of Willow rubbing her belly, and imagined her having a child born without a wolf, without magic. I thought of the dying crops and the beautiful village they’d built only to see it eaten away by the black fungus. But most of all, I thought of the small thrill of pride that rushed through me when Astra looked into my eyes with absolute conviction and called me Alpha.
“Yes. I have to.”
A sadness crossed his face, before it was quickly replaced with a halfcocked smile. “Then let’s get married.”
Ten minutes later, Sage walked down our makeshift aisle holding a bunch of wildflowers under the darkening sky as the moonlight shone down on us. Walsh stood next to Sawyer in the open grass field of the industrial building, and armed warriors and witches made a circle of protection around us. It wasn’t pretty, but it still felt special.
“Ready, dear?” Eugene asked, extending his arm to me.
I nodded, trying to keep from crying. My dad was deep in a bunker with my mom underground, and Eugene had graciously offered to give me away. As I walked slowly toward Sawyer, he held my gaze with a loving intensity I wasn’t sure I deserved. I was reminded in this moment of the first time I met him, standing there at Delphi, while Astra stood patiently in the center and waited for us to reach her. In her hands was a small leather-bound book, the cover was decorated with a cluster of deep red stones, it was something spiritual I was sure. It was small enough to fit in her pocket, and I wondered if she always carried it. When I reached Sawyer, he shook Eugene’s hand and then took my right hand in his, walking me over to where Astra stood.
I didn’t know how the curse worked, but Sawyer had informed Astra about what words needed to be said to test the curse. If I didn’t truly love Sawyer, he would die on the spot. I wasn’t worried. I’d never loved anyone more than I loved this man.