Alexa twists the cap off her orange juice and takes a long drink. “What’s the plan?”
“Taking you to get checked over. Don’t give me no lip or fight me on this. I know someone who will be discreet. Bit of a drive though.”
“All right. I won’t.”
“Good.”
Her hand reaches out for mine, and I let her take it though I shouldn’t. One touch could spark a fucking wildfire. “Thank you for doing this. For everything. If I didn’t have you...I don’t know what I’d do.”
“Don’t mention it. Finish that off we gotta head out.” I drop her hand and stand up. Pulling my cigarettes out of my cut I light one up and peek outside through the blinds. A couple kids are walking toward the bus stop. They are about the same age as Alexa, but she’s not like them. She is unlike anyone I’ve ever met.
I take a long draw off my Marlboro and dig Slick’s keys out of my pocket.
“All set.”
I look over at Alexa and she has her bag strung over her shoulder. “You got everything?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s roll.” I open the front door and glance around once more for prying eyes then shuffle Alexa toward the cage. Slick has a black Ford F-150 with tinted windows. Not something I’d choose myself, but it’ll do for what I need it for. People see a pretty blonde in Slick’s cage they won’t think twice about it. They see her on the back of my motorcycle there’ll be talk. Whisperings I don’t need. Don’t need the fucking 5-O getting in my business again.
“Buckle up,” I growl, as I climb into the driver’s seat and adjust the mirrors.
Alexa fiddles with the radio, and I ignore her for most of the drive. She tries to talk, but I shut her out. I need to get my head straight. Whenever she’s near me I can’t even breathe right. The AC blows, giving me whiffs of her sweetness. I steal a glance her way, and when I see her tears, I fucking break. I gotta fix this. Fix her. I just don’t know how. We’re an hour outside of Charleston now. I turn down the radio and catch her gaze as I pull off at a gas station.
“Want something?” She shakes her head. “I’ll be back.” I don’t wait for a response. I get out needing a break from being so close to her and yet so far away. The smell of gasoline assaults my senses, and I head inside for a coffee. I grab what I need and at the counter is these big square red cinnamon flavored suckers Rochelle loves so I grab a handful of them. I think Alexa likes them too. I pay and get back in the truck. Alexa’s resting her head against the window. Her eyes are closed. The weight of the world balanced on her shoulders.
“Hey.” I tip her chin up. “You good?”
“No. I’m terrified. What if I’m pregnant? Then what?”
“Then you ask yourself what you want.”
“To turn back time and to have never met Todd.”
“Can’t go back. We can only move forward. It’s going to be fine.”
“You can’t know that.”
“Rochelle tell you I did time?”
“Yeah.”
“Circumstances can always change. I got out. Came home to my family.”
Alexa snorts. “To a wife who despises you.”
“To a daughter I love who has a pain in my ass best friend.” That earns me a smile. “Here.” I dump the suckers in her lap and situate my cup in the holder in the middle of the console.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Alexa tears the plastic wrapping off one and thrusts it between her sweet lips. My mind flashes to thoughts of those red lips wrapping around something else, and I hate myself a little more, but not nearly enough. We get back on the road and head North to Pennsylvania. I’ve got another two hours of this torture might as well fill the time with conversation.
“What’s the deal with your old man?”
Her shoulder lifts. “He’s an asshole. Wants everything perfect.”
“What happens when you disappoint him?”
“Depends on what I did. Some things will get me grounded from the basics. No Tv. No going out. Other things will lose me a meal. Get me locked in my room. Make me acquainted with his newest belt. But I’m almost out of there.”
“He beat you or just whip you?”
“Is there a difference?”
“Yeah there is.”
“Tell that to him.” She twiddles the end of her braid between her fingers. “He subjects me to a drug test once a month, and I have to take it in front of him.”
“What do you mean you have to take it in front of him?”
“He stands in the doorway to the bathroom while I pee in the cup.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Oh, it gets worse. I don’t know if you know this but my father’s a gynecologist. He um makes me do these exams to check that I’m a virgin. So you see he’ll know. But he’ll blame me. I can’t go back. You can’t make me go back there. If he finds out I don’t know what he’ll do.”
“You let me worry about it.”
“No. You don’t know him. He’ll come after you and the club. You can’t.”
“I’m not afraid of him, Lex. You don’t have to be either.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you care? I’m not your problem.”
“Because if it were Rochelle and she couldn’t come to me, I’d want someone to step up and do the same. I swear to you, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix...” I stop.
“I’m damaged goods. I have been since the day I was born. My mother hates me because having me gave her stretchmarks. They hate me yet they love to control me.”
God damn these pieces of shit have done a number on her.
“You’re not damaged, pretty girl. Maybe a little bruised but don’t let anyone ever make you think differently.”
“You’re just trying to make me feel better. That’s such a thing a good dad would say, but you aren’t my father. I don’t look at you that way.”
Don’t I fucking know it.
I let the conversation end there.
Chapter Six
The truck rolls to a stop outside of a quaint white sided house. “Wait here,” James tells me, so I stay put.
An older woman exits the front door and meets him on the cement steppingstones leading to the porch. She looks like a grandmother type. Silver hair styled in curls tight to her scalp. He greets her with a kiss to each cheek, and she pats him on the shoulder as she glances toward the truck at me.
James turns around and motions me to get out. I don’t want to, but I trust him. He’s the only person I can trust.
“Lex, this is an old family friend.”
She gives him a pointed look. “Who you calling old? Call me Anna.”
“Nice to meet you,” I lie through my teeth. She may be the nicest lady in the world, but right now I don’t want to be around anyone other than James. He makes me feel safe.
“Lily is out at the barn.”
“You go with Anna. She’ll take good care of you. I’ll catch up in a bit.” He stalks off before I can ask who Lily is.