“Jimmy Ferris?”
“The one and only. Lead singer of Stage Dive and reformed addict.” He sighed, a soul-deep kind of noise. “What he had to say scared the shit out of me, actually. Lots of people offer you all sorts of things when you get big. Not that I’m as big as them. But the champagne just flows, let alone the hard stuff. I could have easily been headed straight for the 27 Club. He talked some sense into me, and I slowed it down.”
“Good. I know I used to ride you about sleeping half the day away, but you looked better back then. You looked—” Beautiful. I almost said it. “Healthy. Alive.”
He grunted. Some habits hadn’t changed. At least, not entirely. Overhead, the air-conditioning clicked on, the quiet hum the only sound since the song had finished. Not a single noise from the city filtered through. One of Adam’s eyes opened, taking me in.
I rested my arms against the top of the chair. “What?”
“Just checking you’re still here,” he replied.
“I wouldn’t leave without saying something.”
“Will you stay awhile? Please?” His eyelids fluttered and then fell closed again. “Despite the arguing, it’s good having you here.”
“Are you okay? You look totally shot.”
“No, I’m fine. It’s always like this after a show. Just stay awhile, okay?”
I hesitated. Of course, I did. But in the end, I couldn’t say no. He was so obviously rundown and lonely in this crazy new life of his. And we probably needed to argue some more about the check. There was that to be considered. “Okay.”
I sat down on the couch, curling my feet under me. Not so far away that I was being distant but not so near that either of us might find the other’s physical presence distracting. God knew how often I used to find his body distracting. Vexingly, impossibly, wonderfully distracting.
Adam gave a slight nod, his eyes still shut. Then his body relaxed fully against the couch. Within minutes, he was asleep. Adam had always been able to drop off easily while I tossed and turned and pondered something completely stupid and unnecessary for an hour or so. Like why dresses rarely had pockets (so they could sell us handbags) and if penguins ever got cold and wanted to move to the Bahamas. Important life-altering stuff. But even Adam had never fallen asleep this fast. How damn tired must the man be? In and out, in and out, his easy breathing filled the room. The number of nights that sound had lulled me to sleep, safe in the knowledge he was there. The one person who could turn me inside out with a single look.
And he’d left me alone in his lux new apartment where I definitely did not belong.
“Holy shit,” I whispered. “Now what do I do?”
Chapter Three
Of course, I had to have a snoop around. No way could I waste this opportunity to intrude upon his space and spy on his new life.
Farther back in the apartment sat his large bedroom, walk-in wardrobe, and bathroom all done up in gray. At most, he’d filled up maybe a tenth of the wardrobe with a variety of jeans, including ripped and non-ripped, black and various shades of blue. A stack of tees and hoodies. A dozen or so pairs of shoes including sneakers and boots. His old battered leather jacket and a couple of flannel and button-down shirts. Not much had changed. Despite the gorgeous suit I’d seen him wearing on a magazine cover accepting a music award (the shirt’s crisp arrow collar juxtaposed nicely with his stubble, tousled hair and devil-may-care smile), he obviously hadn’t given in to a stylist for his everyday wear. In one corner sat a large stack of unopened boxes, but that was about all. In the fancy two-person shower sat a bottle of two-in-one shampoo and conditioner and a crumb of soap. It didn’t even look like the ginormous hot tub had ever been used. Make no mistake, I’d have been in there the first chance I got. Wealth was wasted on Adam.
The California-king-size bed sat unmade with pillows that smelled of him and no one else. Which was interesting. Guess he really didn’t bring other women back here. Or at least, not recently. And while I probably should have been ashamed of sniffing his belongings, I hadn’t reached that stage of the proceedings just yet. I was quite content to suffer pangs of guilt for my appalling behavior, but not until I’d investigated the whole apartment. Priorities mattered. Next were two spare rooms. The first sat empty and the second had been stuffed full of about a dozen guitars and various amps. They lined the walls, just waiting to be played. A notebook and pen were discarded on the floor. As tempting as it was to read what songs he was working on, I managed to respect his privacy and not look.
It kind of evened out the weirdo sniffing thing in my mind.
A half-bathroom and coat closet near the door finished up the apartment. And Adam was still asleep. I threw a blanket over him in case he got cold and headed for the kitchen.
Not a whole heck of a lot in the fridge. Some wilted salad mix, a couple of pieces of pizza, a variety of beer, a block of cheese, some orange juice, a bit of butter, and milk. Cold cuts turning a suspicious shade of green, and bread more than a few days old. Those went in the trash. If I was overstepping, he could get mad at me later. Guess he didn’t have a housekeeper. Or at least, not a regular one. The pantry wasn’t much better, but I could scrape together mac and cheese—happily one of his favorite comfort foods. I was more of a taco girl myself. Let every day be Taco Tuesday and I’d be happy. Cooking also gave me something to do while he caught up on his sleep. To be honest, being a domestic goddess had never been my thing. Ordering delivery was more my style these days. Didn’t mean I couldn’t look after him a little this one last time. Because this had to be the last time we’d see each other. My feelings were too confused to allow us to be friends, and he’d be off on tour in a few days’ time anyway.
The end was definitely nigh. Not exactly sure how I felt about that.
When he woke, I was humming under my breath to a song by The Nationals, stirring the noodles and sauce together. “That smells good.”
“Hey…yeah…I hope you’re hungry.”
He smiled, and I didn’t know what to do. My insides lurched in the strangest way. Me being here was beyond awkward. Us being together. So much was different, yet so much felt the same. Give or take the million-plus-dollar apartment.
“I’ve been thinking about the check,” I said, stopping to take a sip of water.
Adam rose from the couch, stretching so that his tee crept up, revealing a slice of flat stomach and slim hips. The man could eat whatever he wanted while my ass expanded if I so much as looked at a piece of cake. Talk about unfair. Though it didn’t stop me from eating cake because happiness mattered more than butt size.
He stood on the opposite side of the counter, staring at me sleepily. “What are you thinking, Jill?”
“Oh. Right. Take one of the zeros off and I’ll accept it. I’ll give half of the money to a local foodbank and use the rest to get caught up on things. Like replacing my crappy old car and taking a vacation maybe…stuff like that.”
Elbows on the stone, he leaned forward, his mess of dark hair falling in his face. Hiding or thinking or a bit of both. “That’s a nice idea, though I do support lots of local charities already. Thought you might want to buy your own place. Open your own salon or something.”