“Nope. We go direct on this one. Just have the car in Tampa tomorrow, earlier the better.”
“Probably won’t leave until the morning, but I think we can have it there tomorrow night before it’s too late. What’s so special about it?”
“I have plans for that back seat, at sunset. So, make it before sunset.”
“Then I’ll have to start tonight. Fuck, Marco, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Tony, I’ve never been worse, and I’ve never been better. I’m going to grab hold of something good, and if it isn’t good, I’m going to hold it until it is good. But I don’t have a lot of time. I’ll have to be in D.C. by Tuesday.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“One thing is for sure. It’s either the dumbest thing in the world I could do or the best thing in the world. I’ve already done some pretty good things, and I’ve just come off of doing a really dumb thing, so the odds are good I’ll hit one of those extremes again. I can just feel it in my bones, and some other places, too.”
“Somehow I get the impression there is a woman involved.”
“You could be correct.”
“A reconciliation with Rebecca perhaps?”
“You just lost your twenty-five-thousand-dollar bonus, Tony.”
“I don’t want to take your money, Marco. I just want you to be safe.”
“This is not only safe, it’s a life-saver. It’s going to change my life forever. Trust me.”
“Well, if the President and the Vice President and the Secretary of State do, then I do as well. I’ll get working on the papers now. And I better brew some coffee.”
After he hung up, I thought about the Tampa weather girl as I scanned the clouds lit up by the lights of the harbor district. I remembered she’d cried, for some strange reason, and it wasn’t because I’d hurt her. It was because some kind of connection was made. I knew that connection was going to be just the lifeline I needed.
Maybe the thought of screwing—no, making love in the back seat of that convertible with that beautiful, gentle and intriguing woman was all a fantasy. But I willingly walked head-on into that fantasy, welcomed the images of her lips, her breasts and the way it felt to make her shatter, with her hips hugging mine and her arms holding me pressed against her. Her combination of softness, sweet female pheromones I hadn’t experienced for years going back to before Rebecca, was something I’d missed and somehow overlooked.
I dared to peek under the carpet and examine that part of my life that belonged to Emily. I forced myself to feel the pain of her loss, staring right at the reality of how my life would have been different if she hadn’t been killed in that accident. It was something I’d not had the courage to look at again. Somehow, Shannon brought back those days like a spirit from the past.
Maybe the old Marco hadn’t been such a dumb fuck after all. Maybe that’s where my mojo, my secret of success lay. It was a shame I’d laid it down with tuber roses and lilies at that little grave in Santa Rosa. Maybe, contrary to what I’d told myself these past fifteen years, that was the day all this craziness started, and maybe, just maybe it had nothing to do with Rebecca.
Well, I was going to find out. And if I didn’t get all my answers, at least I’d have some new memories of sunsets and leather seats, soft arms and lips that craved to be pleasured. Maybe she was someone who needed me just as much as I needed her. In a few minutes I’d phone her, and make sure the welcome I’d felt was still present. I wanted her to anticipate my coming, to ready herself for someone to rock her world. It was better that she was fully ready to receive me rather than being surprised. Give her a chance to get out all the nice stuff and try to make an impression, because that’s what I was going to do. I was going to woo her in a way she’d never been wooed before. She’d never forget this weekend.
Maybe we could need each other into oblivion, stop all the pain and hurt, and begin to heal in each other’s arms.
There were crazier ways to find out, but I liked that it would start with an impulsive private flight to Tampa tonight, as soon as I got confirmation my pilot was ready, and I finished packing. It would continue with a fast drive to the gulf in an even faster red convertible. And maybe it would end with a sunset to all the darkness in my life, a bon voyage to all the misery and pain, and the start of a new day.
Chapter 10
Shannon
As a drinking buddy, Rebecca made a fine one. I was actually having a great time, stumbling around, playing music, mostly oldies for her. Her favorites were all Em’s favorite tunes too: Fleetwood Mac, Van Halen, even some Steely Dan thrown in. All these albums we found on her cell phone. We danced together like two long-lost friends. Except for her cutting wit and nasty language, it was almost like dancing with Em herself.
“Truth or Dare, Shannon!” Rebecca shouted, holding her glass high above her head. She turned down the music. “Best night ever when you were a teen!”
The oddness of the statement made my insides flinch. I saw Marco, a much younger version of him, anyway, bending on his knee, presenting me with one of the flowers he’d plucked from the bouquet he’d laid at Em’s coffin. His eyes were red and his cheeks were streaked with shiny rivulets of tears. He couldn’t talk, but I saw in his eyes the tremendous loss my sister caused him. How I wanted to ease that pain. He’d always been so kind to me, even defending me to Em sometimes. He was the bright spot in my Mother’s Day whenever he showed up.
I was the invisible preteen.
“Remember her this way, kid,” he’d said as he handed me the scented flower.
I would have preferred a hug or an itty bitty teeny-weeny innocent peck on the cheek. He probably thought I was dumbstruck, my grief overwhelming me, which of course it did. But my small fingers shook as I took the flower, just to be in proximity to the man who had brought my big sister so much joy. I knew it would be the last time I’d see him, the last time our fingers would touch. I wanted to make it better by telling him how wonderful he made her feel, but I froze up. My knees locked. My insides shredded like an old curtain flapping in a glassless window frame.
“Yessss!” Rebecca hissed. “That one. What was that one about?”
I really had no idea why it would have been the best day of my life. It was certainly the most impactful. As the years went by, I saw that tiny flower not as a plant or once-living thing, but a torch given from one sister to another. Like the movie when the actress tells him to come back for her in time. Was he saying he’d see me later?
Of course not, and I was nearing the edge of sanity to think so. My head spun. I blamed it on the alcohol, which was also partially true.
“I think the Scotch has gotten to me. All that dancing. I’m dizzy. I need to sit down.”
She was all over me like a mother, just like Em was, darn it. I couldn’t get the thought of how similar and yet so dissimilar they were. I really wanted her to scrape her hands and arms from my body, but she clung to me because she was drunk too. She sat me down, carefully, on the couch, sat right next to me and pushed my hair from my forehead.
“You’re burning up, Shan.”