“I’m fine,” Pepper asserted, gathering up some of the designs on her desk and pulling them into a haphazard pile. “I’m just…”
“Pepper, normally, you are a whirlwind of energy. Your normal entry into the building is like a burst of energy. You’re so full of ideas and excitement, we all just stare in amazement.”
“I’m not like that!” she replied, feeling silly.
Nancy chuckled softly. “You have no idea, Pepper. But today, you walked through the door with your sweater buttoned weird and you looked lost.”
Pepper rolled her eyes, but Nancy only looked pointedly down at Pepper’s sweater. When Pepper glanced down at herself, she groaned. Sure enough, she’d buttoned four of the six buttons on her cardigan this morning, but the fourth button was looped into the third buttonhole, throwing off the line. “Good grief,” she muttered, her fingers flying to fix the situation. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Nancy threw her arms up in the air. “I did!” she exclaimed. “Several times! Plus Louise and Jenny mentioned it.”
“Oh.” Pepper cringed, biting her lip as her fingers fiddled with the buttons that were now straight. “I’m just…feeling a little off. Everyone has an off day once in a while.”
Nancy’s tone softened. “That’s definitely true. But I’ve worked with you for the past several years and you don’t.”
“I don’t what?”
“Have an off day,” she explained. “You’re always the wonderful, kind, vivacious boss who comes in with the most amazing ideas and lights everyone up. So I ask again. What gives?”
Pepper stared, not sure how to explain. “Um…I sort of…well, I met a guy,” she finally admitted.
Nancy’s eyes widened in surprise. “Well, that’s great! I’m happy for you. But…what’s the problem?”
Oh no! That definitely wasn’t a question Pepper was going to answer! No way! “Well, he’s just…a little out of my league,” she finally explained.
Nancy snorted. “Honey, you’re gorgeous, creative, successful, and have a figure to die for. You’re in everyone’s league!” She took the designs from Pepper, who was only curling the corners of the papers anyway. “What makes you think that he’s out of your league?”
“He’s just…very wealthy and…I think that he’s used to a different kind of woman.”
Nancy flipped through the designs. “I like this one,” she said, flipping it around for Pepper before sliding it back into the stack. “But as for this man, if he’s been with other women in the past, and he’s still single, then he hasn’t found the woman he wants yet. So, they are in his past, Pepper. Not his future.” Nancy turned, heading out the door. “Remember that.”
Pepper stared at the empty doorway, but her heart still ached. She’d never see Dimitri again. She knew that. He’d been so furious when she’d called a halt last night. The whole drive back to her place, he’d been rigid with his anger and she’d sat stiffly beside him, not sure how to get him out of his funk.
Around midnight, when she still hadn’t been able to relax enough to fall asleep, it occurred to her that they shouldn’t even be fooling around with each other if she didn’t know the man well enough to talk to him about his anger. That was a big red flag, right? It meant that they should cool things down and get to know each other better.
Yes, that made more sense.
Of course, he might not want to see her again after last night. The pain of disappointment that stabbed her heart at that possibility was devastating. But Pepper knew she’d have to accept that it was a very real possibility.
Although, maybe that was for the best, she told herself as she gathered up her papers and stuffed everything into a file folder to deal with later. Yes, their desire for each other was too out of control, too crazy. At least, it was on her side, she thought, grabbing her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. She loved life and loved waking up every day to find something new and exciting waiting for her. Pepper never knew what that exciting thing might be, but she eagerly waited for it every day, her excitement causing her to dance and skip and smile at the silliest thing. She loved watching people and feeling the sun on her face. She loved…life! After surviving her high school years, she and her sisters had come through that trauma feeling empowered.
At least, that’s how Pepper thought of the experience.
A half hour later, she walked up the steps of the subway, trying to smile at the late afternoon sun on her face as she emerged up onto the sidewalk. Goodness, she loved the springtime! It was as if the world was coming alive again! The flowers and the trees unfurled their loveliness! It was a magical time.
And yet, even as she admired the bright green of the new leaves, she didn’t feel the same level of excitement that she normally did. It was because she knew that she’d never see Dimitri again. She’d never feel his arms around her and…that hurt.
With her head bowed, she walked towards her building, thinking through the issues surrounding her life without Dimitri in it. She’d only known him for forty-eight hours, and yet, she still felt the sharp stab of disappointment at the thought of never seeing him again. It wasn’t fair, she grumbled as she pulled her keys out of her bag. Other women got to find the love of their lives. Why was it that she’d probably found hers and…and she’d wimped out?
“Pepper!”
The deep voice calling her name was so startling, she nearly fell down the steps. When she spotted Dimitri leaning against a sleek, black sports car, her heart immediately soared with hope!
“Dimitri!” she gasped, stepping forward, but then realized what she was doing, remembered her vow from the previous night, and halted. “What are you doing here?”
He pushed away from the car and moved towards her. He wasn’t wearing a suit. Instead, he wore a pair of dark slacks and an almost-casual shirt. It wasn’t a dress shirt for him, but on another man, it probably constituted something they’d be very proud to wear to an important meeting.
“We’re going to talk,” he told her, wrapping his fingers firmly around her upper arm and leading her towards her building.
“Oh.” Talk? Talking was good, right? “Okay.”
She walked up the narrow stairs of her building to her loft and pulled her keys out. She fumbled a bit, but she eventually got the door open and stepped inside, dumping her bag on her big, wooden kitchen table.
“What happened to my jacket?” he asked.
Pepper spun around, her mouth falling open in horror as she watched him pick up his now rumpled jacket to inspect.
“Oh, umm….”
“It looks like someone…” He stopped and looked at her, his eyes sharpening on her expression.
“I’m sorry!” she blurted, rushing towards him and trying to take the jacket from his hands. “I’ll have it laundered and pressed.” But he lifted it out of her reach.
His voice was deep and husky as he asked, “Did you sleep in my jacket last night, Pepper?”
Pepper bit her lip, not wanting to answer him. That would reveal too much and she didn’t want him to know how desperately sad she’d been last night. It had been about two o’clock in the morning and she still hadn’t fallen asleep. Finally, in desperation, she’d gotten out of bed and slipped her arms into the sleeves of the jacket he’d taken off last night, then curled back into bed with his scent surrounding her. She’d immediately fallen into a deep sleep.