I hope Kade is there, too.
7
Kade
Work goes as work usually does, and the hours pass slowly. My eyes are getting tired from staring at the computer screen, and my hangover is making my head pound. But finally, it’s time for me to go home, and because I’m feeling extra grateful that Parker doesn’t seem to remember a thing from yesterday’s drunken planning, I decide to grab a few treats at the deli on our street.
I even throw in some gorgonzola cheese, which used to be Parker’s favorite. It may not be the stuff we were used to—and the smell makes my stomach roll over—but I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.
I take the stairs two at a time, and my usual worried smirk is replaced by a smile today. Things are gonna fucking work out. I’ll explain the plan again, he’ll understand, and I’ll have her. I produce my keys out of my pocket and fumble with them, trying to get the door open. Because that’s what this has been about all along. Sweet, innocent…
June.
Standing in front of me, opening the door for me—to my own goddamn apartment. Wearing Parker’s college sweatshirt. I clench the paper bag in my hands, and at that moment, I know I had it all wrong. Parker remembers everything. He acted on it, too, while I was busy at work, earning money for both of us. And she’s here now.
“Hi,” June says softly, her doe eyes big and trusting. "I was hoping you'd join us."
Without saying another word, I walk in like I’m in a trance, and when Parker catches my eye, he winks at me.
He winks at me.
I’m about to strangle him, but in the next second, I’m wrapped in a bear hug by June. “I missed you so much,” she whispers in my ear.
I have to restrain myself, so I don’t respond to her affection, and my hands form fists at my sides. She’s pressed so close to me I can feel her jutting hip bones poking me through her jeans. All I want to do is tear her the fuck off me. Get her the hell away before my body acts of its own accord, and I force her to do something else entirely.
“What is she doing here?” I ask Parker, stepping out of June’s touch and ignoring the hurt coming off her body like a fragrance. "Did you invite her, or is this another one of her stalkery trips?"
“I thought it was about time we buried the hatchet,” Parker says cheerfully and brings a bowl of salad to the kitchen table. I see that it’s already set with two plates and there’s sliced baguette as well as some charcuterie. I wonder who paid for that, I think bitterly. It's probably the money for takeout I keep leaving him... “It’s been too long since we had June over, don’t you think?” Parker teases.
Oh, so she’s June now, when before, he always called her little sis. I hate his guts right now, and I know I’m being unfair, but I want to grab her and carry her into my room to do all the things I’ve dreamed about to her. Forget Parker. She belongs to me.
“Am I allowed to eat here?” I ask viciously instead of responding to my brother’s words, nodding toward the two places he’s set. “Or should I leave?” Somehow, I don’t feel welcome in my own goddamn apartment.
“Yes, please—stay,” June jumps in cheerfully, and I turn around to look at her. She’s acting like she owns the place, and it bothers me because it’s the one thing I paid for myself. I’m the one who pays the rent here, and her dirty money will do her no good, no matter how good those jeans look on her. And I’m trying not to look.
“Are you staying?” I ask her, and she flinches a little.
“Parker invited me for lunch,” she says softly, but then she raises her chin. “I didn’t know we needed your permission.”
Well, that’s fucking new. June is always quiet, obeying everything we say. But now she’s standing up for herself? How goddamn refreshing.
“It’s my place, so you do, yes,” I reply coldly, and her eyes burn with a quiet fire I’ve never seen before. And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t turn me on even more than her usual sweet and submissive personality. Fuck me. I've been with her for a few minutes, and I'm already losing my cool. "So? What do I need to do so you’ll leave? You need a written note or something?”
She looks taken aback for a second, but I don’t regret it in the slightest. She doesn’t belong here, not in her designer heels while carrying a handbag that costs more than our rent does.
“Ignore him, June,” Parker tells her cheerfully. “He’s being an ass. Why don’t you sit down? I’m sure we can have a nice time without Kade, too—his loss, right?”
He’s shooting me daggers with his eyes across his shoulder as he sits June down. I’m so angry I could slap him on the spot even though I have no right to do that. It was my idea, I think, just to punish myself further.
“Enjoy your dinner in that case,” I say, the venom spilling out of my words. I turn on my heels and walk out of there. I have no idea where I’m going, but I need to get away. I'm not about to sit down to a family reunion with a stepsis I want to be balls deep inside, and my idiot fucking twin brother.
Because it might have been my idea, but it should have been me sitting there with her. I should be the one she looks at adoringly with those huge eyes, not my brother. And I’m afraid that had I stayed there longer, he would be the one to get hurt, not June…
I walk around the streets, pretending I don’t care while my mind swims with ideas of how to get June away from Parker. But I can’t, and I won’t. I’ve held back for so long, and I’ll just have to last longer. I can't have her.
My promise to her mother is still fresh in my mind. She didn't want us together. I need to honor Rachel’s memory, not disrespect it.
Time passes slowly, and finally, I’ve had enough. It’s pitch-dark outside, and the few streetlights in our neighborhood are barely throwing any light on the pavement as I make my way back home. I stop under our brick apartment building, glancing up at the window that I know is in our kitchen.
The light is on.
I can just picture them, sitting at the table I paid for, eating food that Parker made, my paper bag forgotten on the counter. I want to grind my teeth with pure rage, but instead, I settle for punching the façade of our building.
I cuss loudly and look at my bleeding knuckles, nursing my hand.
“Well, that didn’t help much.” Someone conveys my thoughts out loud, and I turn toward the voice like it’s a siren calling to me. Of course, it’s June. She’s standing by the entrance to our building, Parker’s sweatshirt peeking out of her pristine white coat.
That alone lets me know she knows nothing about how hard life can be because, in my version, I'd probably get the white coat dirty on the subway, on the bus, just from fucking living my life. But if hers get so much as a little stain on it, she can just replace it with another one. It’s an endless supply of white coats for her, and a loop of torn jackets for me.
I rush into our building, ignoring June completely. But instead of backing off like I expected she would, June steps in my way, and I brush against her.
That alone sends a shiver through my body, and my muscles clench with how badly I want her. I’m so far gone—when did this happen? I thought I had myself under control.