The earl laughed, the sound low, husky, and very devilish.
Juliana offered him a bland, and hopefully, professional smile. “I shall dry your back and shoulders if you still wish it, my lord.”
“How composed you are,” he murmured provokingly. “I believe I have the matter in hand.”
Relief swelled inside, but she did her best to not reveal that reaction. “Of course, I will layout your clothes for the day.”
Her stomach chose the moment to grumbled embarrassingly.
“It is already late. Go and break your fast.”
She hesitated, tempted to stay, and insist on completing her duties, but also understood a lifeline when she saw one. “Since I am not needed, I shall go and have something to eat, my lord.”
She bowed and withdrew from the earl’s chambers, careful not to appear jittery despite the wild thumping of her heart and her trembling knees.
Chapter 6
His valet really might be a young lady.
On the heels of the very thought, Wentworth’s cock surge to life with maddening eagerness. With a silent curse, he tugged on his banyan, uncaring he soaked the material. Wentworth took a few steps toward his door and had to forcefully halt himself. It was madness to even think to chase his servant and question him...her.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. What would he say? Accuse the man of being a lady in disguise? Wentworth had nothing to go on but a few delightful blushes and the raw desire that had flickered in those lovely eyes just now.
In his thoughts, he could no longer think of Julian as a male. It just did not correspond with his visceral desires and imaginations.
Do not be so quick to prove your theory, he silently reminded himself.
What if his valet was still a lad in the throes of first passion? Bloody hell! Calming his thoughts, he went over to the writing desk in his room and retrieved his journal.
Journal Entry Two
Wentworth stared at the words he wrote, wondering exactly what he should record. The first phase of his experiment had gone really well, and he was fifty percent certain his valet was a lady. When Julian had first run away, Wentworth’s certainty had been like an uncrushable rock, but the lad had returned, admirably composed and unflinching.
How brave you are.
A young miss with delicate sensibilities might not have acted with such equanimity after seeing a naked man on the brink of arousal. He closed his eyes against the memory of that gaze caressing over his body, that look of awe, the blush, and heat in those lavender eyes. That primal and genuine reaction, the rise and fall of her chest, that tight swallow, the hard bite on her bottom lip…surely that was the behavior of a person who wanted him. And he, in turn, wanted her, desired her, more than was rational.
Their attraction was decidedly mutual, and he wasn’t altogether certain what was his next step. Or why it was even necessary for him to take a step forward. Wentworth did not feel like himself. He was enjoying this little experiment far too much, and it had nothing to do with scientific theories and discovery.
His body and heart screamed irrevocably that Julian was a woman, but his eyes still needed the irrefutable proof. He dipped the quill into the ink and scrawled in his journal.
Observation: My valet was most rattled at my naked body. Julian was hardly able to meet my eyes, and a rosy blush suffused his or perhaps her face. The breathing of my subject also became fast and erratic, and then he/she ran away. That could be considered the response of a very missish young lady with delicate sensibilities. So, if Julian is a female, she is an ingénue, not an accomplished light-skirt seeking to find a wealthy protector.
I wonder if one of my friends has paid her to this imposture, some will find that amusing. They think me too staid and obsessed with my books. It would be like Patrick De Vere to send me a beautiful demi-vierge, just out of pure mischief. However, there was a look of arousal in my valet’s eyes, but no understanding or experience was indicated. If she is a would-be courtesan, then she must be an outstanding actress. My valet is clearly more educated than Jeffers or any other valet I have encountered, so why would a young woman of a privileged family risk exposure and her reputation by taking on a male disguise?
I believe my valet was sincere in pleading to not be dismissed from my employment. I got the impression that the subject was frightened by the prospect of being turned off. So if my valet is a woman, what is she escaping from? That leaves me with the conundrum of my own desire for her and my responsibilities to my employees. I should not seduce an innocent or abandon one to unknown dangers. My desires conflict with my own moral standards, whether my valet is male or female and should be kept in check. The dilemma is stimulating and amusing. Although I should probably pay my valet to leave, I am enjoying his or her company very much.
It is still a possibility that my valet is a boy who is uncomfortable with having sexual preferences for his own sex. I do not wish to believe that conclusion, but if that is the case, I have the option to discourage his advances or sack him.
The subject’s return to the chamber immediately following his or her distress showed a temperament capable of rallying swiftly under pressure. It also revealed Julian possessed a mind able to think quickly and who is inventive in tight situations. Indeed the ruse being discovered would have made it difficult for him or her to return to my chamber because of my behavior, but the way in which Julian governed his or her reaction was admirable.
It is easy to conclude Julian has never seen another naked man. His or her fascination and alarm were too pronounced. This, however, is no conclusive evidence that Julian is a lady. As a young lad, educated at home, seeing the body of another naked male is not guaranteed.
Unexpected outcome: The variable I’d not made allowances for was myself. My reaction to Julian’s stare was rather alarming. I cannot recall ever feeling such pleasure at another’s admiration before. Not even Lady Sophia, my most recent lover, was able to elicit half of the desire I felt. From a mere stare. My own reactions bear scrutiny, and so do my responses to Julian. Why am I so powerfully attracted? I am not a creature given over to physical desires, yet I cannot help admiring the prettiness of her features or the lushness of her smile. Though I fear I am more attracted to her braveness and her ingenuity in planting herself in my household. The characteristics it reveals is one of strength and of quick wit.
The next phase in my experiment must allow for closer observations of Julian, and I should also undertake a probe into his background. While it would be relatively easy to hire an investigator, I am more interested in uncovering this through conversation. Even the lies he or she will be forced to make will be revealing.
Why? This desire remains unknown to me, but it feels more than mere curiosity.
Wentworth lowered the quill and closed the journal. A quick glance outside revealed a bright sky, which propelled him to his feet and to the windows. This autumn had been unusually wet, the rain only rarely stopping to allow the sun to emerge. He predicted it might promise a harsh winter, with the possibility of heavy snow. He had missed his morning ride, but he would take advantage of the weather and spend the day outdoors. Possibly do a spot of hunting.
Despite his love of mathematics and reading, he also immensely enjoyed the outdoors and sportsmanship. Wentworth did not bother to ring for further assistance, but quickly dressed and made his way downstairs. It did not escape him that it was several hours since he paused in reading Sir Isaac Newton’s theory on universal gravitation, which had been examined in the third edition of Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy. Wentworth owned the first edition published in Latin, which he had read in full, but enjoyed reading the differences between the editions and what it revealed about the expansion of knowledge. Knowledge, he had concluded, was exponential and would always grow and transmute to the delight of avid followers of the sciences like himself.