“Do you have to wear a dress?” Max chuckles and winks at me.
“Not as long as I don’t piss Kate off,” I reply, only halfway kidding. “Everything about this wedding is unique, so I’m not surprised she’s shifting the bachelorette party into a joint thing. Surely, it’s not a big deal, though. You have several properties in Aspen, right?”
“It’s apparently a very big deal to Kate because none of my rental properties are good enough, so she asked if she could have my personal property instead.”
I bark out a laugh. “That sounds like Kate.”
“She didn’t really ask. She just…told me.”
I nod slowly.
“Like I was a child.”
I press my lips together. “Hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Yes! Does she have testicles in those yoga pants she’s always wearing?” He rakes his hand over his short blond hair, and his lips puff out with a heavy exhale.
I have to fight back a laugh. Kate’s pen name is Mercedes Lee Loveletter, and she uses it as her alter ego all the time. It’s amusing to watch people get Loveletter’d. I lean forward and hit him with a knowing look. “She doesn’t need balls, Max. She has a super vagina that writes dirty books and crushes any balls that don’t submit to her.” I sit back and lift my coffee to my lips. “I assume you caved, right?”
“I don’t think I could say no if I wanted to. Now she’s inviting me and told me to bring a date. Can you believe the nerve? She invited me to my own place this weekend.”
I laugh at that. “She is a woman who gets what she wants. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be there. It’ll be fun.”
Max takes a sip of his coffee and curls the croinut number I grabbed for him in his hand. “Who are you bringing?”
“Umm…I’m not sure yet,” I reply awkwardly. Seriously, where the fuck is Norah?
Max hits me with a terrified look. “Kate said no singles allowed. Couples only. Apparently, she’s writing some swinger erotic novel and wants to use the entire trip as a write-off. She mentioned making us put all our keys in a bowl.”
“Shut up,” I bark, jerking back. “That’s fucked up, even for Kate.”
“Yeah, I think she was joking about that part. But she seems dead serious about bringing a date. That girl is scary.”
Suddenly, the bell on the front door chimes, and Norah walks in. She’s bathed in sunlight and tugging at the black bandana covering her blond hair while buttoning her baker’s coat over her ample breasts that I’ve felt the size of against my chest.
She halts mid-step when her eyes land on me. “Hi,” she says woodenly.
“Hi,” I reply with a frown because she has a weird look on her face. “How are you?” I add, clearing my throat because I realize I probably have a weird look on my face too.
“I’m good, Moser. How are you?” She glances at Max and gives him an awkward head nod.
“I’m great.” I head nod too. It’s strange.
“Great,” she repeats and then shrugs weirdly. “Okay then, see you guys.”
She scurries behind the counter and joins Rachael, who’s just set down a fresh tray of croinuts to be frosted. I stare at Norah for far longer than is appropriate because now I know what her legs look like in a short dress, and I can’t help but wonder what they would look like wrapped around me.
“What are you doing?” Max asks, interrupting my dirty thoughts.
“I’m hoping Norah will come with me to Aspen.”
“As your date?”
“Obviously.” I furrow my brows at him because I would have thought that was obvious. “We got along great at her parents’ thing Friday, so it seems like the perfect idea.”
Max’s eyes widen. “So that whole fake date thing you guys planned went well?”
“It went…good,” I reply, turning my attention back to Norah as she finishes washing her hands and prepares to glaze the steaming sheet pan in front of her. She looks so excited. It’s adorable. “Parts of the night were weird, but it was mostly awesome. Norah can be really fun when she wants to be.”
“I told you I thought she could be fun when forced.” Max is frowning at me when I turn to look at him again. He lifts his chin and side-eyes me. “You like her.”
I scoff and take a sip of my coffee. “Duh, she’s hot as hell and can bake. She’s the perfect woman.”
Max’s eyes narrow. “I mean like like her. You’re looking at her differently now. I wondered about this.”
I pin him with a look. “I’m looking at her because she’s glazing my croinut and I’m starving.” And I know what her lips taste like and how her ass feels beneath my hands and against my dick.
Fuck.
“Yeah, okay,” Max says with a knowing laugh. “Look, man, you do you. I thought it was crazy when you told me what you guys were doing this past weekend, but I’m just her franchise manager, not her love coach.”
“You’d be a horrible love coach,” I say. “You’re shit with relationships. A great father, yes. A great husband…no way.”
Max scowls at me before gesturing over to the donut counter. “So, would you invite Norah as a fake date or a real date?”
“What’s the difference really?” I waggle my brows suggestively, and he barks out a laugh.
“I think Norah could name quite a few.” He pins me with a look that says, don’t go there, Moser.
I exhale heavily. He’s right. Fake relationship or not, Norah isn’t the type of girl to blur boundaries. Although, I would never have expected her to take me to her parents’ thing this past weekend. And I damn well didn’t see that kiss coming. So perhaps Norah could surprise me. That is, if she still wants me.
Shaking that thought out of my mind because the ball’s still in Norah’s court, I refocus my thoughts on Max. “Who are you going to take to the orgy party in Aspen?”
“Do you think it’d be crazy for me to take McKenna?”
His eyes are wide and hopeful as I fix him with a withering stare. “Your ex-wife’s best friend? Yes, Max, I think it’d be a horrible idea for you to take her.”
He sighs. “They’re not friends anymore.”
“Still…that is not a road you need to travel. Don’t you have that Aspen friends-with-benefits girl you could call?”
He nods. “Yeah, and Everly is with her mom this weekend, so I think I’m available, but I should double-check.”
Max pulls his phone out, most likely to text his ex and make sure she won’t need him at all this weekend. It’s been eight years since their divorce, and they co-parent their ten-year-old really well. I can’t figure out if it’s because they’re both really mature or because Everly’s mom ended up being a lesbian and the two of them went through a lot of shit to get to this point.
Regardless, Max gets Everly three out of four weekends a month and one weeknight every week. It’s tricky for him to have a social life because the man is involved in almost every business deal in Boulder, but he always makes time for Everly.
Suddenly, Rachael is at our table with two croinuts in hand. “Hey, boys,” she says with a smile. “Here you go…today’s flavor is Morello cherry with toasted almond cream.”