"I'm sorry." I go to move Matty away and Liam waves me off.
"It's alright." Liam moves to sit on the ground and Matty settles into his lap, continuing to babble away.
Liam himself seems smitten, nodding and agreeing in the appropriate spots.
“You should consider yourself special. Matty never has been one to attach right away to new people. It usually takes him a while to feel them out," I tell him after Matty has stopped talking and rests his head against Liam's chest.
Liam looks up at me with a smile that melts my heart. “I’m glad that I could be one that could break that barrier. Since me and him are the best of buds already, he could hang out in my office while you get some work done. I have a lot more space in there and it’s better than him hiding under the table.”
“What?” That was the last thing I expected. Okay, universe, chill. “I’m not sure.”
“I even have the latest iPad I’ve been needing to test out. I can load it with some kid friendly videos. Much better than this dinosaur.” He points at my phone where Matty is clicking away at a frozen Sesame Street video.
“Hey. There's nothing wrong with my phone.” Besides the fact I'm three upgrades behind.
He smirks. “It's an S6."
I cross my arms over my chest. "And? It works just fine. Depending on the video."
He chuckles. "I'm only saying. Well, how about this. There's plenty of room in my office for his mom to hang out and work too. It’s no problem.”
“I don’t know.” My heart races erratically, and my palms are sweating. No matter who he might be in my child’s life…I still don’t know who he is. And how do I hang out with him and Matty and not spill the beans? I want to spill them now. “It's just I’m not sure how he will behave. He’s two and can be a bit of a handful. I’m sure your office has a bunch of stuff you don’t want him to get into.”
“It’ll be fine.”
“Why do you want to help me?” I blurt. Why is he pushing this so much? He doesn’t know us.
“Because I want to, Red.”
“Red? Who’s Red?” Sam steps into the room and then her eyes shoot down to Liam and Matty on the floor. “Who’s the kid?”
“He’s my son,” I answer nervously as I can see all the wheels turning in her head. I've talked to Sam every day since I've been here. She's been nothing but nice to me. We even had lunch my second day here. And if there's one thing I know about her, on top of her wit, she's clever.
"I see." She draws out as she looks between the three of us. Whatever she's thinking she's not going to say.
"I told her it would be okay if she brings him in today," Liam answers for me, and I nod.
"Don't let Barb in HR get wind of this or you'll have to open a daycare here."
"Maybe we can work it into the design plans." Liam smirks looking over at me, making Sam roll her eyes. "Lessen the call off issues. Win win."
“Liam, a word?" Sam asks with a stiff smile and throws her thumb over her shoulder.
“Sure.” Liam gathers Matty in his arms as he stands. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he tells me and hands my son over to me. I’m still in shock that he had no problems being carried around by someone he only met moments ago.
“Oh, Matty, what am I going to do?” I whisper and rest my head on his. Inhaling his sweet scent.
He gives me a toothy smile. "Elmo." He holds up his phone showing a video of Elmo and Big Bird dancing.
"I see. Can Mommy borrow her phone?"
"Nah-uh. Mine." He presses it back to his chest.
"Please? Or I'm going to get the tickle monster on you." I wiggle my fingers.
"No tickles…" he protests and throws the phone at me. It hits my chest before it lands on the floor.
I retrieve my phone as Matty goes back into his makeshift cave to hide from the impending tickles. I laugh as he rolls himself in his blanket and puts his Sonic doll in front of him. I wiggle my finger at him and he screeches, shaking Sonic at me in retaliation.
I throw my hands up in surrender and then flop into my chair. I replay the image of Liam and Matty together and I break out in a cold sweat. The look on Sam's face seeing them together. I can't hide this anymore. It's now or never. With trembling hands, I fire a quick text to Terry.
He saw Matty. I'm freakin out.
Thankfully she answers back right away.
Terry: What did he say?
Nothing…Matty jumped on his lap and then he offered to watch him in his office.
Terry: Wait, Matty just jumped in his lap? I still have to force hugs from the kid.
Focus!!
Terry: Sorry. So are you going to tell him?
I don't know what to do. He got pulled away for a moment. I'm shaking. Maybe I don't have to.
Terry: Holls, you need to tell him. For Matty and for yourself. Before it eats you away.
Why do I hate when she’s right? I toss my phone to the table and groan. “What am I going to do?” I whisper,
"Everything okay?" Liam asks, walking back in and pulling up a chair next to me.
"Yep. Just having an issue with some of the furniture."
"You're shaking." He grabs my hands.
"Am I?" I giggle nervously.
"Yeah. A lot more than you were that night outside of the bar. What is going on? I swear every time I step into the room, I set you off."
"It's nothing. I've always been a nervous Nelly," I lie.
“You’re also freezing.” He places his hand on my cheek. “Are you getting sick?” I shake my head. “I promise I’m not upset your son is here if that's what you are worried about. I let my employees do it every once in a while when they're in jams."
“It’s not that.”
“Then what’s going on?” he presses.
I know it’s now or never.
“Is there any way I can talk to you somewhere with more privacy? I have something I need to tell you and I can’t have anyone walking in.”
“Of course. Let’s go to my office."
“Sit.” He waves to the chair in front of him and props himself up on the edge of his desk. “What’s going on?”
I brush my clammy hands down my skirt and look over where Matty is sitting on the couch in the corner of Liam’s office playing on Liam’s iPad. Liam set him up with a movie and headphones so he would be distracted while we talked. I haven’t stopped shaking and my stomach is doing flip flops. Why is it so freakin’ hot in here?
“Holly, what is going on?” he urges sincerely.
Just do it, Holls.
I take another deep breath to try and calm my nerves. “I don’t know how to tell you what I need to tell you. It’s going to sound crazy.”
“Just tell me.”
“Remember how I told you how we met three years ago?”
“Yeah?”
“Oh god.” I run my hands down my face, my stomach turning. Here goes nothing. “I remember it because I got pregnant that night.” I spill the words out and suddenly feel like the hundred pound weight has been lifted off my chest.