She was wrong in thinking he didn’t want a serious relationship eventually. He’d come across countless females in his time who’d claimed they “knew” why he didn’t commit, who’d been so certain that they’d seen through him. They’d tossed out all kinds of theories—he feared commitment, he was pining for someone he couldn’t have, he’d become relationship-shy after a woman he’d loved had betrayed him.
They’d all been wrong.
It had long ago become instinct for Dominic to keep a large part of himself separate from others. His parents lost their first son, Tobias, when the kid was ten. His mother, Allegra, had crashed the family car after falling asleep at the wheel, and the brother he’d never known was killed. She’d never stopped hating herself for it. Grief had begun to drive his parents apart, so they’d had Dominic to “fix” their relationship, to “heal” them and bring them back together.
The problem was that they’d never been able to fully see Dominic. They’d always compared him to Tobias. Always marveled over their similarities and frowned at their differences.
In many ways, Tobias had been held up to him as a measuring stick. No matter what he’d done, Dominic could never quite meet their expectations. And when someone didn’t see you, when they’d twinned your identity up with someone else’s and made you feel both unknown and unwanted, the world could be a very lonely place.
As an adult, Dominic could see that his parents had held back from him out of fear that they’d lose him just as they’d lost Tobias—they hadn’t wanted to feel that same level of pain again. But as a child, Dominic hadn’t seen it that way. He’d felt unimportant, unloved, and not good enough. Felt like he didn’t belong.
He’d not only maintained an emotional distance from his parents, he’d also developed a habit of keeping that same distance from others. He’d subconsciously hidden his pain and anger as well as his true self, only giving people small glimpses of the real Dominic. It was something he hadn’t really noticed until the day his mother left when he was just thirteen—deserting both him and his father—and Dominic hadn’t felt more than a twinge of hurt.
His own mother had abandoned him, but he hadn’t felt the expected level of betrayal and pain. As if the true impact of her actions just hadn’t been able to touch him. He’d realized then just how much he’d withdrawn from others. Realized that he’d built a metaphorical shell around himself.
He’d met many people who were hard and rough on the outside while hiding a soft center. Dominic might not have a hard outer layer, but he was still surrounded by a protective shell. There couldn’t be walls like that between mates. Both needed to be open to the other, and that left them incredibly vulnerable.
Allegra had known that separating herself from her mate, Lincoln, could lead to one of them turning rogue. She’d known that the rogue wolf would then be killed, and that the likelihood of the other surviving the breaking of the mating bond was slim. Allegra hadn’t cared about any of that. Hadn’t cared that Dominic would be left alone.
He had no idea where she’d gone or what had happened to her, although he believed she was likely dead. His old Alpha, Rick—who was Trey’s father—had survived after his mate had turned rogue, but Dominic suspected that was because Rick and Louisa hadn’t been true mates.
Dominic had never tried to find out what had happened to Allegra. He honestly didn’t care. Louisa had left her mate, knowing what fate could lie ahead for her, but she’d done it to be with her son; she’d done it to start a new pack with Trey after Rick had banished him. Allegra, on the other hand, had completely deserted her family. If she was alive, she’d know that Lincoln was dead, and she’d know that Dominic was alone . . . but she’d never come back for him.
If Allegra and Lincoln had been a human couple, they could have divorced and started fresh. True-mate bonds didn’t allow for things like that, and they sure didn’t guarantee the happiness that most people assumed they did.
Dante was right; Dominic wasn’t truly happy. But he still enjoyed his life. He didn’t yet feel the need to find his mate and, despite what Rosemary claimed, he never gave off any signals that implied differently.
Except with Mila, he thought. He’d never pursued anyone before, and such a thing could certainly be misconstrued. But he’d been completely honest with her from the start; he’d been clear that he just wanted a bit of fun.
Still, it would be wise to ease up on her, but Dominic knew that he wouldn’t. And he realized that part of the attraction for him was that there was no risk of emotional entanglements with Mila. No expectations. No complications. No chance of her wanting more, and then finding him lacking. Intent on an arranged mating, Mila wouldn’t want anything from him. She’d insist on distance and boundaries. It would just be sex. Rough. Hard. Raw.
Ignoring the odd sensation that he felt in his gut whenever he thought of her bound to some asshole—and yeah, Dominic had simply decided that the guy was an asshole based on nothing—he quickened his pace. He needed to get ready for his trip to the Velvet Lounge tonight.
CHAPTER FIVE
Mic in hand, Mila let the lyrics and raw emotion pour out of her and into the song. Harley perfectly complemented the dance tune as she played her electric violin, and the DJ hyped up the cheering crowd with his own mic. There was so much energy in the club, it was crazy. Performing was a rush for Mila. An intoxicating, unparalleled high that made her feel alive and free . . . taking her up and up and up.
Her cat loved experiencing that rush. Loved the feel of so much adrenaline pumping through her.
Onstage, Mila could forget everything else. Could shed her frustration with her pride for having spent the past six days trying to convince her not to mate with Maksim. Could shed her anger with Joel for going ape-shit on her earlier when she refused to budge on moving to Russia. Could even shed her irritation at the bitches who were trying to edge their way into the VIP area where Dominic was sitting.
He hadn’t bothered her once since that day at the barbershop, so he’d obviously accepted that she had no interest in starting anything with him. Yeah, all right, a very illogical part of her was disappointed by that. But it was for the best.
She was surprised to see him back at the club, since Harley had told her that he wasn’t a regular there. When Mila had first spotted him sitting at the table with a few Mercury Pack members, her heart had slammed against her rib cage. Knowing better than to make eye contact and get ensnared by one of his “I am so going to fuck you” looks, she kept her gaze on the people crowding the dance floor.
As she reached the instrumental portion of the song, Mila moved aside while Harley did a solo. Like the audience, Mila clapped and cheered for the insanely talented margay shifter.
Whipping out her phone, Mila put her back to the crowd as she took selfies and even recorded a little video of them all bobbing, singing, dancing, and hooting. That only made them go wilder. And then, once again, she was pouring herself into the song.
Dominic could only stare at Mila, sincerely blown away by how much raw natural talent she possessed. Her smoky, scratchy voice was filled with soul and power. Her joy and exhilaration bled out into the crowd, which was loving her performance because she was loving it.