I swallowed. Be strong, Valentina. The wish of a dead man is sacred. Don’t break your promise.
And it wasn’t only Antonio I was protecting. I’d lived a lie, had as good as lied to Dante himself since our first encounter, had led him to believe one thing while the other was true. I wished there was emotion on Dante’s face, even anger; I could have dealt with that, but he gave nothing away. Always the iceman.
“So your words downstairs were simply meant to provoke?” He sounded calm and curious, but I didn’t let that fool me. I had all his attention.
I couldn’t say anything. The way he’d worded it made it seem really bad. What was he thinking? I wished I had the slightest hint if he was in a good or bad mood.
He won’t hurt you, Valentina.
He hadn’t done anything to me so far, but we hadn’t exactly interacted all that much in the few days of our marriage. And two days ago he’d been scary as hell when he’d found me with the photo albums.
The tension became too much and a tear slid out of my right eye, trailed down my cheek and caught on Dante’s finger that was still pushing my chin up. He frowned, releasing my chin. I immediately tore my gaze away from him and took a step back.
“Why are you crying?”
“Because you scare me!” It burst out of me.
“Until today you never seemed scared of me.” He was right. Except for a few brief occasions, I hadn’t been scared of him, but I knew with a man like him I should be scared.
“Then maybe I’m a good actress.”
“You have no reason to be scared of me, Valentina,” he said calmly. “What are you hiding?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
He closed his fingers around my wrist loosely. “You are lying about something. And as your husband I want to know what it is.”
Anger flared up. This time it was quicker than caution. “You mean as the Boss you want to know, because so far you haven’t exactly been acting like my husband.”
He tilted his head, scrutinizing every inch of my face. “Why would you still be a virgin?”
“I told you I’m not!” I said desperately, trying to slip out if his hold, but he tightened his fingers slightly, only so I couldn’t escape. He pulled me against him, my chest pressed against his. Air left my lungs in a rush as I looked up at him. My heart pounded in my chest, my temples, my veins. And he felt it. That was why he was holding my wrist.
“So,” he said in a curious tone. “If I were to take you toward our bed right now.” He took a step, forcing me closer to the huge four-poster bed. “And would make you mine, I wouldn’t find out that you lied to me just now.”
I’d wanted nothing more than for him to want to finally bed me, and now that he used it as a threat to find out the truth, I wished I’d never wanted anything from him in the first place. Would he feel that I had never slept with a man? I’d only talked with other women about their experiences, but I didn’t know if men could feel if a woman was a virgin.
“You wouldn’t because you won’t take me to that bed now.”
“I won’t?” He raised one blond eyebrow.
“No, because you wouldn’t take me against my will. You disapprove of rape.” The words Bibiana had used still sounded strange from my lips, and it wouldn’t even be against my will. I’d thrown myself at Dante for days now; he must have known that I wanted him. Still wanted him despite everything. My body was practically humming with longing for his touch.
He chuckled. I’d never heard him laugh. It sounded empty. “That’s what you hear?”
“Yes,” I said more firmly. “You gave the Underbosses direct orders to tell their men you’d castrate anyone who used rape as a way of revenge or torture.”
“I did. I think a woman should never have to submit to anyone but her husband. But you are my wife.”
“But still.” My words were a bare whisper, filled with uncertainty.
He nodded once. “Yes, still.” He let go of my wrist. Relief flooded me. “Now I want you to tell me the truth. I’ll always treat you with respect, but I expect the same from you. I don’t tolerate lies. And eventually, we will share a bed and then, Valentina, I’ll know the truth.”
“When will we ever share a bed like husband and wife, and not just sleep beside each other? Will that ever happen?” I snapped. My stupid mouth, always running free.
His expression flickered with something I couldn’t place. “The truth,” he said simply, but with authority. “And remember I will know eventually.”
I lowered my face. Would the truth make things worse between Dante and me? It would definitely be much worse if he found out I’d openly lied to him if we ever consummated our marriage.
“Valentina,” Dante said tersely.
“What I said in the living room was the truth.” I was relieved and terrified when the words were out of my mouth. How much longer could I have kept up the lie anyway?
Dante nodded, a strange look on his face. “That’s what I thought, but now I ask why?”
“Why is it such a surprising thought that Antonio didn’t want me? Maybe he didn’t find me attractive. You obviously don’t, or you wouldn’t spend most evenings in your office and your nights with your back to me. We both know that if you wanted me, if you found me at all desirable, I’d have lost my virginity in our wedding night.”
“I thought we agreed on the fact that I wouldn’t force you,” he said. I searched his eyes because there had been a trace of anger in his voice.
“But you wouldn’t have to force me. You are my husband and I want to be with you.” Heat flooded my cheeks. “I’ve practically thrown myself at you for days now and you didn’t even notice my body. If you found me attractive, you would have showed some kind of reaction. I guess I’m just lucky to always end up with husbands who find me repulsive.”
“You aren’t repulsive to me,” he said firmly. “Trust me, I find you attractive.”
I must have looked doubtful, because he closed the distance between us. “I do. Do not doubt my words. Whenever I catch a glimpse of the creamy white skin of your thighs.” He traced my thigh through the high slit of my nightgown. I had to stifle a surprised gasp at his sudden proximity. Goosebumps erupted all over my body. “Or when I see the outline of your breasts through the little nothings you wear to bed.” He ran his finger gently over the lacy edge of my nightgown right above my breasts. “I want to throw you onto our bed and bury myself in you.” He dropped his hand, back to not touching me again.
My eyes widened. “You do? Then why—”
He cut me off with a finger against my lips. “It’s my turn to ask questions and you promise not to lie.” I stared at him, nodding. Had he said the truth? Did he want me?
“Why did Antonio not sleep with you?” Danted asked, still standing so close that his warmth flooded my body. I could hardly focus.
“I promised him not to tell anyone ever.”
“Antonio is dead,” Dante said. He didn’t sound sorry. “I’m your husband now and your promise to me is more important.”
I averted my eyes. He was right, but I’d carried the truth with me for so long, it had almost become a part of me. Dante would probably figure it out eventually.