She pause a little, steady her voice. “But when my mother got sick last year and was diagnosed as terminal, meaning she would not ever get better, I started to see her, to see things, in a slightly different light. Maybe the sickness softened her, but many times, she would cry and hold my hands, as if trying to say sorry for how things were with us. As I went back and forth to see her in Port Harcourt, especially over the last few months, I began to wish I had a baby to take along with me, to give my mother a reason to fight to live. I’ll be honest and say that it was always just a quick thought, never a strong enough urge to make me discuss with Ken or to change my mind. But the day we met”—she peep me, smile—“you said something about your father being a bit mean, but that did not stop you from loving him. You said you’d take your time to find a good man at the right time so that your children will enjoy what you didn’t. You made me realize that I could be a good mother. That I could choose not to be like my mother. You don’t know this, but what you said that day, it struck a chord inside of me. Made me dig up a long-buried desire.”
She face me, tears shining in her eyes. “And now, I know it is what I want. I cannot stop thinking about it, about having a little boy or girl, just one, because I still believe in my environmental causes.” She laugh soft. “I will raise my child in a loving, balanced home, and hope she can become as smart, intelligent, and amusing as you are.”
“You will be a good mama someday,” I say, blinking back my own tears, “like my own mama was. Ms. Tia, you are not like your mama. You are a good person.”
She take my hand, hold it tight, say nothing.
“What did the doctor think?” I ask. “About you changing your mind?” I take to calling her husband “the doctor” since she tell me about him. She doesn’t mind it.
“At first he wasn’t keen,” she say. “He got upset, said I was backing out of the plan. But we didn’t have an agreement as such. When we met, he said he didn’t want kids and I was cool with it, so we got married.” She smile a shy one, then say, “He’s come round now, we’re trying. I know it will happen.”
“Very soon,” I say.
She nod, give me my exercise book and biro. “Can we now get on with our work for today?”
* * *
Six nights have passed, and now I am in my room, reading the paper Ms. Tia give me.
She write ten sentences in the paper, and tell me to pick which one is correct English and which one is not correct English. I am sitting up on my bed, pencil in my hand, looking the paper, when I hear a noise in the back of the cupboard. Like a rat scratching his nails on the door.
I climb down from the bed, pick up one leg of my shoe, hold it. If that rat peep his head, I will smash it. I wait, breathing fast, quiet. The noise come again, a creak. It is coming from outside, behind my door. I turn to the door, pull it open.
Big Daddy is standing there, looking shock. He is wearing trousers, white singlet on top, slippers on his feets. His body have a smell, of too much drink.
What is he doing on this side? In the boys’ quarters?
“Adunni.” He keep his eye on the chest area of my nightgown. “How are you?”
“Sah?” I say, kneel and greet him, hold my nightgown with my hand, pull it close, covering my chest. “I am fine, sah. Good evening.” I remember what Big Madam say, her warning not to answer Big Daddy, so I stand to my feets, make to enter my room.
“Come back,” Big Daddy say, licking his top lip, and something full of hope die inside of me.
“Come here,” he say. “Don’t be afraid.”
I look to my left, my right. By now Kofi is sleeping deep, snoring.
“You are a very beautiful girl,” Big Daddy say. He push his eye-glass down on his nose. “Intelligent too.”
“Thank you, sah.”
“My wife is away,” he say.
“Yes, sah.”
“She’s threatened. My wife. Threatened by every damn female around me. Frustrating, I tell you, very frustrating.”
“Yes, sah.”
“She has nothing to worry about,” he say, sway on his feets, shake his head. “I mean, my wife. She has nothing to worry about.”
I am not saying yes, sah again. I just stand there, keep my back to the wall, fold my hand in front of my chest, and lock my nightdress well.
“I want to make a proposal, Adunni,” he say. “A proposal. That is not the name of a person, you know.”
“What is it you want, sah?” I slap away a mosquito from my arm, yawn. “Sleep is catching me.”
“You don’t have to hurry away from me, Adunni. I am a gentleman, you see.”
I don’t see anything, so I didn’t give him answers.
“All I am trying to say is”—he clear his throat—“I want to help you. To give you money to spend.” He sway, jam the wall with his shoulder. “You understand?”
“No, thank you, sah.” I take one step back, open my room door. He take a step near me, put his feets in the middle of the door.
“Please, sah, go away before I shout.” I am talking with a low voice, but my heart is banging itself inside my head, bam. If this man wants to rough me now, who will I call? If I shout from here, will Kofi hear me?
He push his eye-glass up his nose, hold up his two hand. “Hey, no cause for alarm, here. No point in making—”
“Good evening, sir.” Kofi just appear from nowhere into the corridor. He is not wearing his cooking cap, and his head is a smooth, round ball with no hair on it. He is tying a white cloth around his waist, no shirt on his thick flesh of chest. I never been so happy to see a almost naked man in my whole life.
“I heard some noises,” Kofi say. “It woke me up. Sir, do you need something? A light snack perhaps?”
Big Daddy shake his head. “No, Adunni called for, for help. I think she was, I don’t know, threatened by some noise. I was just, yes, just leaving. Thank you.”
Before me and Kofi can talk, Big Daddy turn around and walk away into the night. A moment later, and a door slam.
“You are lucky I was not asleep,” Kofi say.
A shiver run up and down my body, prick my flesh. “Thank you, Kofi.”
“Big Madam will be back next week,” Kofi say. “Have you started on your essay? You and that woman, the doctor’s wife, have spent the last week working on it, right?”
“She is teaching me better English so that I can write it,” I say, and the thought of it is filling me up with light, with a warm hope that is chasing away the shiver in my body.