“That’s not true,” Jodelle said softly. “Your friends would care.”
“They would,” Baker agreed. “For a short while. Then they’d get back to their own lives, as they should. I’m not explaining this well. I just…I realized I want more out of my life than simply being the man people call in when they need help or want to dig up some dirt they can use to prosecute someone.”
“And you think you want me?” Jodelle asked.
“Yes,” Baker said simply.
Jodelle shook her head. “I don’t think I have it in me to love anyone again, Baker.”
He snorted.
“I don’t,” she insisted.
“You have more caring in your little finger than some people have in their entire bodies,” he told her. “Take what happened to Ben today as one small example. The second you heard he was in trouble, you didn’t even hesitate to try to get to him. And I know you’re still thinking about him, even now.”
“That’s common decency, not love,” she insisted.
“The hell it’s not,” Baker told her. “Look, I know I’m comin’ on strong. I don’t know any other way to be. If you don’t want to explore the connection we seem to have, all you have to do is say so. I’m not one of those guys who can’t take no for an answer. It’ll suck, but I’ll respect your feelings.”
“I just don’t want to lead you on. I’m a mess, Baker. Seriously.”
“That wasn’t an answer, Jodelle.”
She sighed. “I also don’t want to disappoint you.”
Baker decided he was done putting distance between them. He scooted over until his leg was touching hers. He lifted his hand and palmed the side of her neck. Inwardly, he stood up and cheered when she subtly tilted her head into his hand. “You won’t. I have a feeling I need to be the one worried about disappointing you.”
He wanted to kiss her. So damn bad. But Baker forced himself to stay still. To gaze into her eyes and try to read the emotions he saw swirling there.
Then, after a long pause… “Okay.”
“Okay?” Baker asked. “Okay what?”
“I was attracted to you the first time I saw you…who wouldn’t be? You’re a good-looking man. But I’ve seen lots of handsome men in my lifetime. However, the more you hung around in the mornings with my kids, the more I realized that you weren’t just a hot surfer. You’re confusing, kind of scary sometimes, never beat around the bush…but you’re also protective, a hell of a good friend, and have the kind of honor I haven’t seen in anyone else, ever. I’m lonely too. But I always thought it was penance for all the wrongs I’ve done in my life. I’m not sure…no, I know I don’t deserve someone like you. But I’m too weak to say no.”
“You aren’t weak,” Baker told her with a small frown.
She didn’t reply.
“You aren’t. I don’t know why or how you think that of yourself, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make you see yourself the way I do. Life is hard, Tink. It beats us up, then delights in throwing curve balls when we’re already down for the count. Weak would be giving in. Becoming bitter. There’s a saying in the SEALs, the only easy day was yesterday…which is so fuckin’ true. And yet in you, I see the same thing I saw in my SEAL teammates. A refusal to give up.”
“There are times when that’s exactly what I want to do,” Jodelle said.
“But you don’t,” Baker countered. “Which makes you strong as fuck. I see you, Jodelle Spencer. And I like what I see.”
She shivered and lifted a hand to grab hold of his wrist. “This is probably a mistake,” she whispered.
“You want me?” he asked bluntly.
She nodded.
“Then it’s not a mistake,” Baker said. “I can’t see the future, but I can tell you this—whatever happens between us will be good. Great. And if we mutually decide to go our separate ways, we’ll do so. It won’t be full of drama, it’ll just happen. Okay?”
She sighed. “I’d like that. But as you said, you can’t see into the future. Things happen.”
“They do. But I’ll never, ever, turn on you. You have my word on that.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Baker agreed, feeling more excited and happy than he’d felt in a very long time. “You wanna watch TV? I can put in a movie. Or we could take a walk.”
She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, and Baker wanted to think he saw the same excitement he was feeling reflected in her gaze.
“Are we gonna kiss to seal the deal?” she asked shyly.
“Yes. But not right now. I’ve moved things fast enough. You need time to absorb what’s happening between us.”
“Oh.”
The disappointment in that one word almost made Baker lose the tenuous hold he had on his control. “We’ll get there, Tink. There’s no rush.”
“I just…” She shook her head. “It’s hard for me to believe that we’ve gone from casual acquaintances to…whatever we are.”
“We were never really casual acquaintances, and you know it,” Baker said.
She stared up at him and nodded slightly.
“A walk,” Baker decided, reluctantly dropping his hand from her neck. “It’ll help me keep my hands to myself.”
“I like your hands on me,” Jodelle admitted.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck. She just laid it right out. No games, no being coy.
“Baker?” she asked in concern.
His eyes opened and he stared down at her. “I like my hands on you too,” he said. Then he stood. “Come on. Polo Beach isn’t that far from here, it’s usually not very crowded and it’ll be a good place to walk off some of that pasta.”
Jodelle stood with a smile and asked, “This isn’t going to be a forced march, is it? Because I’m full. And I might puke if you make me walk too fast.”
Baker chuckled and wrapped his arm around Jodelle’s waist. “We’ll go at your pace, Tink.”
“Thanks. Your legs are a lot longer than mine, and with your training, you’d outpace me in seconds.”
“You think I’d leave you behind?” he asked as he steered them toward his front door.
“No. But I have a feeling you were a tough team leader. I can picture you barking at your sailors and telling them to get their shit together and get a move on.”
Baker laughed because she wasn’t that far off the mark. He wanted to pull her against his chest and kiss the hell out of her, but he settled for leaning down and kissing the top of her head instead. “Promise. This is a lazy after-dinner stroll. Nothing more.”
“Okay. Baker?”
“Yeah?”
“This is weird. And really unexpected. But I’m not upset about it.”
He beamed. “Good.”
He let go of her long enough to open his door, and once it was closed and locked, Baker was thrilled when Jodelle shyly reached for his hand. It was crazy how simply holding her hand made tingles shoot up his arm. He was fifty-two, and for the first time in his life…he was almost giddy about being with a woman. He wasn’t sure if he should be concerned about that or just go with the flow.