Colleen began to feel her wrists tighten and her elbows ache. Her eyes sharpened to take in the falling snow, the fading light, and she tried to stop berating herself for being unable to breathe.
“This is looking bad,” he finally said as he landed on an alternative station that was pumping out a Celtic rock fusion song.
“Yeah. But I’ve driven through worse.”
“Me, too. Remember the storm where the deer had her baby right in the middle of the road?”
“You were with Luke when that happened.”
“I thought you were there.”
“No.”
“I guess I’m inserting you into my memories,” he said with a quiet speculation that made her heart gallop again. Was she imagining this? What was going on? The skin around her belly began to tingle. For as cold as it was outside, she was heating up fast in here.
A long, slow breath helped center her, but then Moore leaned toward her and she got a whiff of his cologne, which acted like an EpiPen straight to the heart.
Zoom!
“Any chance you have water?” he asked, searching the large center console.
“Yep. Brought two water bottles and two coffees.”
“Seriously?”
“You know I always do that.”
“I know. I just can’t believe you always do that.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re always prepared. Not just prepared…” His voice trailed off as he found the bottles, then grabbed a small thermos and opened it, peering in. “This one mine?”
“If it’s red, then yes.”
He took a sip.
“Milk, no sugar,” he said. “Down to the smallest detail. You do these things as if you really care.”
“I do these things because it heads off problems down the road.”
“Nah. I think it’s because you’re secretly a marshmallow underneath that tough exterior.”
“How dare you!” she joked. “Don’t let my deep, dark truth become known! I work hard to keep it hidden!”
“Not hard enough. You’re one of the kindest people I know, Colleen.”
There it was again. That tone.
The tone she must be imagining.
“I think kindness is underrated,” she said sincerely. If he was going to talk like this, might as well join in. The road conditions were deteriorating and she was genuinely concerned. Not enough to stop–yet–and if they could get to Wolfeboro, they had a chance of getting some food and assessing the situation.
Besides, she enjoyed his conversation. Moore had a way of taking sudden verbal detours to places that made her feel better about the world afterwards.
“You’re right,” he said between sips of coffee, staring straight ahead as she watched her speed. They were on a wider highway now, though two lanes only, but she kept going at 55 mph and looked at the clock, then the odometer.
Well on their way.
Her phone buzzed with a text. She motioned for Moore to look at it.
“What if it’s a sexy text?” he joked.
“From who? Tim?” A snort was all she could muster.
“It’s Luke.”
“Definitely no sexy texts there.” She shuddered while Moore laughed and squinted at the phone.
“He wants to know our route. Says the roads are bad up around Fryeburg.”
“Ok, Dad,” she said, looking at the phone. “Luke is my little brother. He’s not supposed to parent me!”
“He’s worried. Understandably. Last thing he needs is to lose someone else in a car accident.”
Moore could also get morbid. Fast.
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
Silence filled the cab, but no tension. The weight of Amber’s death rested in every molecule. Moore and Colleen had been Luke’s rock, filling roles her parents couldn’t. They’d both shouldered that responsibility without a second’s hesitation, and for that, Colleen loved Moore so much.
Loved him on levels she didn’t know people had until they’d gone through hell together.
No matter what, she knew Moore would always be there for the people he loved.
Moore began texting on her phone. “I’ll give him the route.” He hit Send, and while Colleen wanted to look at the phone, she forced herself to focus on driving.
“Huh,” Moore said. “Luke says Wolfeboro is probably safest.”
“Good thing, because we’re only ten minutes away at the rate we’re going.”
“He says there’s a good chance it’ll clear up after that. Told him we’ll head up 160 to 117.”
“It would be stupid to go south at this point.”
“You look tense.” Moore put the phone down and rummaged through the console, pulling out her coffee thermos. “Want some?”
Grateful to be taken care of, she took the thermos that he gently opened and drank greedily, not realizing how much she needed it.
Her phone buzzed.
“Luke again. Says not to take any dumb chances.”
“Tell him to check in on Sandwich.”
“Your cat is fine.”
“My cat needs someone to just peek in on her.”
“She’s a cat who ignores everyone. You’ve only been gone a few hours. She’ll be fine.”
“Just text him.” Opening her mouth, she stretched her jaw, a dull pain beginning to settle in there.
Moore did as asked, then frowned at her phone. “He says he can’t. A car hit that huge oak right by the Fields’ CPA office. Took out the whole building.”
“WHAT?”
“Yep,” Moore said, squinting harder at the phone. The man needed reading glasses but wouldn’t admit it to himself. “Says all hands on deck over there. Power lines down, too.”
“Anyone we know?”
“You, uh, were dating Tim Fields until, well…”
“I meant the driver of the car.”
Moore texted Luke and waited.
“Message not sent.”
Colleen groaned. “We lost the signal?”
Settling back in his seat with an exhale that puffed his lips a bit, he sighed. “Guess so.”
“I really hope he can check on Sandwich.”
“I think he’s a bit busy.” Moore searched in the console, the clatter of her dad’s CD jewel cases making it clear he was looking for some longer-form music to listen to. Meanwhile, Colleen was running through every worst-case scenario in her mind regarding her beloved cat.
Someone would check on her. She knew in her bones no one in her family would abandon her sweetie.
Losing the cellphone signal didn’t help matters, though. If road conditions were so bad up north that people were sliding into trees and toppling them, maybe she and Moore needed to reassess.
Opening her mouth and suggesting they get a hotel room for the night could be like ending the world, though. Humiliation could kill you. If Moore made a sexy crack, or a joke that made it clear he didn’t think of her in a romantic way at all, it would destroy a little bit more of her soul.
She knew there was nothing between them. Never would be. But that was different than hearing it straight from his mouth.
For the next fifteen minutes, they listened to Radiohead and drove on until they hit the center of Wolfeboro.