“If you’re sure. If you change your mind in the morning when you’re feeling saner and it’s not snowing and windy, just let me know,” I finally said.
Noah held my gaze for several long beats, and my stomach went back to its gymnastics routine while my pulse raced. “I’m not changing my mind, Sasha. So back to you. Your daughter’s on a ski trip, and it’s your first vacation without her. Seriously?”
I arched my brows and pursed my lips. “Yes, Noah. I’m a single mother. I love it, and I wouldn’t change it, but it doesn’t give me much time to myself, much less the funds for many vacations.”
He nodded slowly. “I wasn’t here when it all went down, but if I recall, Thea told me your parents kicked you out. Did they really?”
I nodded. “They sure did. It’s okay. I stumbled a few times, but I landed on my feet. Family isn’t always great.”
“You don’t have to tell me. You know what happened with my family.”
While I recalled Noah’s mother had been lovely—always warm and kind—it was no secret in town that their father had been a wealthy asshole. Their mother had passed away, and their father was in jail. He’d wanted to make more money and did so by breaking the law.
I winced slightly. “I do. I’m sorry about your mother.” As soon as I said that, I realized the last time I’d seen him was probably at his mother’s funeral.
He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “So your parents kicked you out, and then what?” he asked quickly, making it clear he didn’t want to dwell on his mother. I didn’t blame him because I imagined he missed her. I knew Thea did.
“I got knocked up, got kicked out, and believe it or not, I ended up in this program for young teenage mothers. The night my parents kicked me out, I actually came to spend the night with Thea. You were off in college. Your mom called somebody in Boston, somebody she knew. The next day, she gave me a ride down there. She told me I could’ve stayed with Thea, but your father wouldn’t allow it.”
Noah interjected, “Of course not. Fucking asshole.”
When my eyes widened, he caught my look and shrugged. “I’m all about being direct about what happened. My dad’s an asshole. It’s okay. I miss my mom, and we were blessed to have her. I didn’t get a full winning hand when it came to family, but I got two out of three.”
“Two out of three?” I prompted, not understanding what he meant.
“An awesome mom and siblings I love.”
“Oh,” I said softly. “I guess I got zero out of three.”
I didn’t even feel bitter about it. Because despite money being tight and my nonexistent love life, I had a pretty good life, and I loved my daughter dearly.
Noah leaned over and lifted his bottle of beer. Once again, I watched the flex of his throat when he swallowed and wondered what his skin tasted like. He set the now-empty beer bottle down, giving me a considering look. “All right, three out of four then. I wasn’t counting right.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I got an awesome mom, my great siblings, and life’s all right for me, even with a little stress. So you got two out of four.”
“How do you figure?” I pressed.
“Because you’re awesome. You’re Thea’s best friend, and she says you’re a true sister since she didn’t get one. You got thrown a curveball in high school, but it sounds like you’re doing all right, and you have a kid who I’m guessing you love.” At my nod, he flashed a quick grin. “I never knew my mom helped you. What did she do?”
“I don’t know how your mom knew her, but she knew a woman who did fundraising for some program in Boston. Your mom took me to meet her, and that woman set me up with this program. They had housing, and I got to finish high school and do job training too. By the time I left, I had two years of college credits. Then I got a scholarship as part of a work-study program.”
“In all that time, you knew you wanted to keep the baby?”
That was the first stutter in his questioning. I sensed his hesitance.
“Sort of, but it wasn’t easy to decide.” I rubbed my fingers along the edge of the fuzzy knitted throw draped over my lap. “The program supported us with whatever we wanted to do. It wasn’t like one of those homes trying to make you have the baby. They set me up with a counselor and sent me to educational seminars on parenting, adoption, and even abortion. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I was already four months along when I got there. I actually thought I was going to give her up for adoption.” I wrinkled my nose, twisting my lips a little sadly. “Even though I wanted to keep her, I thought that was best because I didn’t have a lot of money. But when I had Quinn and held her, I just couldn’t do it. I felt really bad about it. Fortunately, the way they had the adoption program set up, you weren’t supposed to meet the prospective parents until after you had the baby. About two months later, one of the other girls in the program did go through with an adoption, so the same family adopted her baby. It was weird feeling bad about that, and I was so relieved it worked out for them.”
Noah stared at me intently and then nodded. “Damn. You are one strong woman. I don’t know how you did it.”
“With a lot of help. It all started because your mom made a phone call and knew somebody. Life is funny like that.”
“Mom was adopted. She donated money to stuff like that all the time.”
“She was? She didn’t tell me that.”
“She was pretty private about it. She loved her parents, but it was a thing for her, to make sure mothers had the support they needed. She found her bio mom later, and it turns out, that her mom was young and totally overwhelmed. It worked out differently for you. So yeah, two out of four.”
I rolled my eyes. “No need to count. I am doing okay. Quinn’s an amazing daughter, and I love her to pieces. Honestly, it played out the way it was going to play out. My parents were never that supportive. They lost their shit when I got pregnant.”
“What about now?”
“They both died. My mom and I sort of reconciled. Dad had liver cancer. Not a shocker because he was a functioning alcoholic his whole adult life. My mom reached out to me. I went to see him, and it was okay. I wanted Quinn to meet my mom, so that was good. She passed away only two years ago after she had a stroke. That was it.”
“Did they leave anything for you?”
I shook my head. “My parents did okay, but my dad blew through their retirement money. He got sick before they were old enough to be on Medicare and didn’t have health insurance. My mom used what little money they had left to pay off his medical bills, and then she was gone. Thank goodness the hospital couldn’t chase me for anything they owed because Lord knows what charges they racked up in the end.”
“Wow. You’ve just been making it work all by yourself,” Noah said softly. “I’d love to meet your daughter sometime.”
“Well, if you don’t get sick of me this week, we can get lunch or something in Boston.” It was strange to realize we’d both been living in the same city and hadn’t seen each other in all these years.
“I’m not going to get sick of you. This house is big enough to hide from each other. Should we meet for coffee in the kitchen tomorrow morning?”