And yes, my tone was clipped. But it couldn’t be helped. He was forcing my hand and bringing chaos with him.
I just wanted a simple, content life. Why was that so hard?
He shifted on his feet. “Kaya, I just —“
I shook my head. “Andrew, I don’t want to hurt you. So I’m going to say this as directly as I can. We are mates. That’s all we will ever be.“
I could see the mutiny on his face even as I spoke. His pursed lips, usually in a smile for me, now a determined pout. “Well, you haven’t even given us a chance.“
“I’m going to ask you this, Andrew, and I want you to be honest with me. For the last year and a half, have we actually been mates, or were you just waiting to ask me out?“
He chewed his bottom lip. “It’s not like that. I just… I just think we’d have fun and we’d make a great couple.“
“And I think we make great friends. That’s if you even want to be friends after this.“
There was this thing about chaos. If it started to swirl around you, you could almost see the eye of the storm. That calm center where everything might be okay if everyone would just cooperate.
The problem was chaos itself. It would never let you get to the eye. That was the oasis that tempted you, pulled you in, and sucked you down.
Because once you were in the storm of chaos, there was no getting out.
“I just feel really misled, Kaya.“
Misled?
I blinked at him once, and then twice, mentally watching our friendship disappear, as I inhaled deeply. “Why?“
“I feel like you put out a lot of signals that said you were interested. And I am—”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Andrew. I’m going to stop you right there. Have I ever said ‘You know, Andrew, I quite fancy you. When are you going to ask me out?’“
He shook his head. “No, but—”
I lifted a hand to stop him. “And have I given you any indication that I don’t know my own mind?“
Again, he shook his head. “It’s just a drinks do, Kaya. You should just come."
If he was going to blow up our friendship, he was going to tell me the reason. “Why?” I was afraid I wasn’t going to like this answer.
He shifted on his feet then. “I might’ve mentioned that we were going out.“
And there it was in front of me. Chaos personified.
Before I could even dig into that kernel of shit, Gemma came bounding up the stairs. “There you are. I was at the cafe waiting on you.” She gave Andrew a sunny smile. “What are you doing here so early? You don’t have a class until, what? One, right?“
Andrew flushed. “I have to go,“ he grunted.
Gemma tossed up her hands. “Was it something I said?“
I ran a hand through my tangled curls. “No, it was something I said. You know how you warned him not to ask me out? Well, he did.“
Gemma cursed under her breath. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. And let me guess, he gave you that bullshit line about how you’ve been giving him signals.“
My eyes went wide. “You knew he was going to do that?“
She winced. “He’s been saying it for weeks. How you were totally giving him clear-cut signals you wanted him to ask you out. I didn’t know he was dumb enough to believe that bullshit.”
I joined her jogging down the stairs my backpack flopping against my back as we went. “Well, now he’s annoyed. Can you believe he had the nerve to suggest I had somehow been the reason he misconstrued everything? And he admitted that he’d just been waiting to ask me out this whole time.“
Gemma covered her face with her hands. “Oh, Jesus. He’s like every bad date on Bumble and Hinge right in front of our faces.“
“All this time, he was just thinking about how best he could get into my knickers?“
“I'm so sorry. To be fair, I do think he has been your friend. I just also think you're the prettiest girl to ever speak to him, so in his head he's worked it up to be a thing. God, I'm sure that was just so awkward.”
“It was awkward at best. Just horrible. And the worst thing was there I was in the stacks with nowhere to go.“
"The stacks?"
"Long story." I summed it up for her.
“Well, the good news is it’s out in the open. That’s if you even want to be friends with him anymore.“
“I’m not even sure how I feel about the whole thing. On the one hand, it’s Andrew. On the other hand, did you know he told his entire department that we were dating?“
Gemma stopped in the middle of the walkway and grabbed me by the arm. For a little thing, she was fiercely strong. “Stop it. He did not!“
“He told me he did. Tried to use that as a good reason why I should go out with him.“
“Bloody Andrew.”
“Yeah, bloody Andrew indeed. I’ll deal with him another time. I just have enough time to grab a smoothie on the way to the center.”
“Oh, blasted. I wanted to talk to you about my Professor Hottie project.”
Professor Hottie was none other than the Xander Chase. He was hands-down the best-looking professor we had. Everyone had a crush on him. He was married of course. Didn’t stop anyone from dreaming though. His wife was this amazing West End actress, Imani Chase. They were actually really cute together. And stupid in love. Gemma and I were both photojournalism majors, and Xander's class was a tough one.
“I'm happy to help you scope out locations. I got my project done early." For her photo project, she had asked to photograph me. I had said no, but we’d brainstormed another idea for her project, and I was her location scout.
Gemma danced on the balls of her feet, and I could tell there was something she was holding back. “That’s just it. I don’t need you.“
“Well, that’s all well and good. One friend who needs me too much and another who doesn’t need me at all. I’m doing just great,“ I joked.
Gemma rolled her eyes. “Will you stop it. Have you heard of the tycoon, Connor Phelps?“
“Should I have?“ I asked as I placed my smoothie order.
“I suppose not. He’s huge in finance. Also stupid wealthy and very good-looking. When I narrowed down the parameters of my project, I realized that I could do a profile on him, complete with photos. Which would cover me for both my writing assignment and my photography assignment.“
“Okay, fine. I forgive you just this once for not needing me to model for you.“ I pursed my lips and struck what I thought was a model pose.
She laughed as we collected my smoothie and she took a sip of her energy drink. “You can scout for me another time. In the meantime, what are we going to do about your Andrew problem?“
I didn’t want to think about it. “You know I hate chaos."
“Oh, I know,“ she said with rolled eyes.
“This is just so messy. And the last thing I want.“
“I get you. But you can’t avoid him forever. And from the looks of it, that did not work out well today.“
Fair point there. “Well, I very much doubt he’s speaking to me right now, so it might not even matter.“
“Look I’m going to say this, and I don’t want you thinking that I’m taking his side.“