“Vi, wait,” he calls, but I don’t hang around long enough for him to say anything else, and the second I’m on the top floor, I fly through my bedroom door, slamming it behind me.
So much for not letting them see me freak out.
Stripping out of my clothes, I make a beeline for the Jack and Jill bathroom that Ella and I share and march straight into the shower, turning the dial and blasting myself with ice-cold water for a few seconds.
My entire body trembles with both the cold and the lingering fear that those few minutes in the dark dragged up. Thankfully, as the water begins to warm, things start to settle down, and by the time the inevitable knock comes from Ella’s side of the bathroom, I’m just about ready to face her.
“Yeah,” I call. It’s pointless, she’d let herself in even if I told her to go away. That’s just how it is with us.
Family.
The word forces a sob to spill from my throat right as she steps into the room.
Concern pinches her brows as she finds me hiding behind the shower screen. The middle of it might be frosted, hiding my body from her, but honestly, we’ve both seen everything enough times over the past two years and right now, it’s not my curves I’m desperate to hide.
It’s my past. The broken girl who lives behind the mask of the confident, say-yes-to-everything woman that I am now.
“Violet,” she breathes, coming closer and hopping up on the counter between our double sinks. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My eyes find her kind, honey ones. Eyes that have been there for me without question since the moment I stepped inside our dorm on that first day as a freshman.
I was nervous as fuck, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was too. It was the first thing that bonded us. Then the guys arrived, looking equally as overwhelmed and, well, the rest is history, I guess.
I shake my head. “It’s nothing. Just some stupid childish fear.”
My chest heaves as the water pounds down on my shoulders, giving me little choice but to let go of some more of the fear.
“It doesn’t matter how childish you think it is, it’s still scary,” she says, empathy clear in every word.
I can’t help but smile at her.
“What the hell are you scared of, El? You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”
“We all have our things, Vi. And they’re nothing to be ashamed of.” I stare at her, more than willing to dive into her issues rather than mine right now. “Public speaking,” she confesses. “I literally have nightmares about it.”
“I think that’s fairly normal. Talking in front of people is terrifying.”
“Just like the dark.” She shrugs. “But it’s the reasons behind them that are the bigger issues, right?”
Fuck.
I know about Ella’s past. Her school years were less than desirable. She was bullied badly because of her weight, because she looked different from the cheerleaders that everyone wanted to be.
It’s bullshit. All of it. Ella is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out. She might have lost her baby fat now, but it’s the confidence that has come with it that is the most stunning thing about her. That, and her smile. She can melt hearts and harden cocks from a mile off with that smile.
“M-my brother,” I force out, falling back on the story I’ve perfected, ready for the day this was inevitably going to come up. Though I have to admit, I thought it would have happened before now. “He used to leave me in the dark for hours while we were playing as kids. A couple of times, he knew where I was and locked me in there.”
“Sounds like a dick,” Ella mutters, making my heart ache for that playful little boy.
“Yeah,” I say with a laugh. “He was. I loved him, though.”
Ella smiles sadly at me. They might not know the details of what I went through with my family, but they all know that I’ve lost them. My mom and brother through tragedy and my father through choice many years before that. Honestly, I’m not sure which is more heartbreaking when I think about it—to have people ripped away from you, or to have someone choose not to want you in their lives.
“You should come back down, get drunk.”
The suggestion is tempting—more than tempting. But tomorrow is the first day of classes, and I refuse to turn up with a hangover, or worse, not turn up at all.
I shake my head. “I think I’m just going to head to bed.”
She smiles sadly. “I think we should all probably do that. I’m not sure I’m ready.” She pouts, thinking about classes starting tomorrow.
“Same.”
We’ve had a pretty insane summer. All of us stayed in Maddison County, but it’s been epic. We all volunteered with different kids clubs that the uni runs. The guys have trained with the rest of the team. And we’ve all just hung out and loved life without the stress of classes and assignments. That’s all about to change, though. We’re becoming juniors. That’s some scary shit right there. Adult life and big decisions are looming, and I’m definitely not ready for those.
“This year is going to be insane, though. The guys are going to fucking kill it. They’ve been on fire all summer.”
“They deserve to go all the way this year.”
“They do, and we’re going to watch every minute of it. Plus, they’ve got the added benefit of their new GA.” Ella wiggles her brows at me, and I can’t help but laugh at her goofiness.
“Why did I tell you about him?” I moan.
“Because you know how much I love a football hottie.”
“Tristan’s…”
“The hottest of them all.”
“I was going to say off-limits.”
“Jeez, girl. You ruin all my fun,” she sulks. “It’s like you want him for yourself.”
My lips part to argue, but she beats me to it.
“Don’t even lie to me, Violet Brady.”
“It’s not like that with us and you know it.”
“You’ve tried convincing me that that’s the case for the past two years, all the while watching every game he played, every interview he did and talking to him almost on the daily. Yeah, I totally know it.”
Reaching behind me for the sponge, I launch it at her, spraying water everywhere. It smacks her right on the side of her head, soaking her hair and covering her in water and bubbles.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” a deep voice booms from the doorway.
I can’t see them, but knowing they’re hiding in Ella’s room and have come to check on me fills me with the warm fuzzies.
“What are you waiting for? Retaliate. We want some naked wrestling,” Brax shouts excitedly.
“You’re a dog,” Ella mutters, hopping from the counter and walking over to swing the door closed on them.
“W-wait. Vi, you okay?” West calls.
Poking my head around the shower screen, careful not to give them an eyeful, I find the three of them standing there, looking like lost puppies. “I’m good. Thank you.”
“Is everything okay with—” Ella starts but is quickly interrupted
“Everything’s good. Just one of those things. We’ve got you, girl.”