“What?” The notably high tone of my voice totally negated the disbelief I was going for. Scoffing, I tried to play it off. “How could I like him? I barely know him.”
“Actually, I think you know him quite well,” she said, no challenge in her voice at all. In fact, she talked like it was no big deal, going in to slice off a bite of her pizza with the side of her fork. “That’s the thing about intense situations. You see who people really are. He totally watched out for you the night Jonas attacked us. He let you sleep in his bed alone, and he even spared you his epic morning moodiness.”
“He was just being nice.” I played it off, trying so hard not to think too much about that morning. It took too long to forget.
“Jamie is a lot of things, but nice isn’t one of them. He is very loyal, though, and very dedicated to the people important to him.”
I didn’t say anything. It sort of made my stomach hurt that I wasn’t one of those people. That’s the way you want it.
“He gave you his number.” She went on.
“Yeah.” I agreed.
He’d put it into my phone the morning after I met him. Wingspan was his contact name. “In case you ever need to borrow my wingspan again,” he’d said.
“You haven’t called him.”
“Maybe I have,” I countered.
Her smile was quick and rueful. “Yeah, and that’s why we’re eating pizza instead of meeting them at the diner.”
“I told you we could have canceled.” I defended, a little hurt.
Rory reached across the table, her hand covering mine. “I didn’t want to cancel. You’re my friend.”
“He scares me.” The confession rushed out like hot air from a deflating balloon. I couldn’t meet her eyes, so instead, I stared at our hands.
Rory’s small fingers squeezed mine before pulling back to her side of the table. “Why?”
“Because I like him.” I like him so much.
“Okay.”
Startled, my eyes flew across the table to hers. “Okay?”
How could she just be so calm by what I said? I wasn’t. Hell, ever since that night I’d met Jamie, everything inside me felt turned upside down. It was why I had to stay away.
She gave a delicate shrug and reached for her fork. “Of course. Ryan scared me at first too, so I understand.” She hesitated but then went on. “You obviously have your reasons that you don’t want to get close to anyone, and I won’t push. I just want you to know that you don’t have to return Jamie’s feelings for us to be friends. You can talk to me, and it stays between us.”
Wait. Did she just say return Jamie’s feelings? That meant he had some and they were directed at me… right? Right?
Forgetting all about the totally delish pizza, I was about to dive all into that statement when the bell on the door across the room jingled.
New energy buzzed through the air, and people started to whisper.
My back was to the entrance, and even though I sorely wanted to turn around, I refused. Not that I had to turn to know who it was.
Rory’s eyes lit with recognition, and the corners of her lips turned up. But then her attention shifted to me, concern in her expression. “I didn’t invite them.”
The greetings being called out to them as they moved toward our table basically fell on deaf ears because of the sudden roaring in my veins. My stomach fluttered while my lungs stuttered with anticipation. Breathing unevenly, I slid my fingers between my thighs, squeezing them together while I awaited the sound of his voice.
The second they reached the table, I held my breath, heart faltering as I fought the urge to turn.
This is ridiculous, I told myself, but at the very same time, his voice loosened all the knots his presence had tied up inside me.
“Ooh, pizza,” he mused, hand shooting out to the middle of the table.
My eyes wandered to his arm, which was well defined with muscle. His skin was smooth, completely hairless, and the size of the hand helping itself to a large slice of pepperoni made me think of the wingspan he offered to let me borrow.
If I borrowed it, I would never want to give it back.
Aaand that thought was like a bucket of frigid ice water dumped over my head.
Get it together, Madison.
“Bro, you sitting here?” he asked someone nearby.
I really like the sound of his voice.
“It’s all yours, Jamie.”
“Bro, thanks,” he said.
The scraping of chair legs over the hardwood floor was like nails on a chalkboard as he dragged it right up beside me. Instead of turning it around the right way, he straddled it, the back up against his chest. One of his large forearms balanced on the top as he chowed down on the pizza with his other.
“Didn’t you just eat?” Rory asked, amusement clear in her tone.
Ryan pulled a chair up beside hers, though much less savagely because I hadn’t even heard him sit down. His arm was draped across Rory’s shoulders. Her body looked small pulled up against his side.
“Jamie’s stress eating,” Ryan told the table.
Jamie took another bite and gave him the finger.
Ryan merely smirked and said, “Coach rode his ass the entire practice.”
I totally forgot I was trying not to look at him. Stiffening, I immediately turned. “Why would he do that? What happened?”
Jamie paused and lowered the slice to angle his head toward me. The little glint in his eyes made my stomach bottom out. “You worried about me, Mads?”
Why does he have to call me that? I looked away. “Why would I be?”
“You tell me,” Jamie replied, his voice much lower than it was before, and it brought my head back around. The glint in his stare deepened, almost like he wanted.
I bolted up, my chair flying back.
Jamie caught it easily, stopping it from flying into the table behind us. “Whoa now.” He cautioned.
“Madison?” Rory asked. Clearly, she felt bad about our unexpected visitors.
I wanted to reassure her I wasn’t upset, but my knees were unsteady and my throat felt tight.
Pulling in a breath, I used a technique I’d learned in acting class and forced a false calm over me, refusing to acknowledge the way my stomach literally acted like it was on a trampoline.
Finding my voice, I said, “Sorry, I just remembered I have to do some corrections on a paper that has to be turned in by tomorrow morning.”
Rory frowned. “But you barely ate.”
I was aware of Ryan watching me closely, and it made the back of my neck burn. But really, it was nothing compared to the unparalleled focus Jamie had locked on me. It didn’t matter if I avoided looking in his direction, I could not avoid feeling him. Even as my brain screamed to get away, my body practically wept to be closer.
“I’m not really that hungry,” I said, pulling my crossbody bag off the back of the chair. My long dark hair was down tonight, and I shifted it over to one shoulder, dropping my chin a bit so it gave me a bit of protection from Jamie’s inscrutable presence. When my bangs caught on my eyelashes, I welcomed that too. Any kind of shield, in this moment, I would welcome.
I reached into my bag to pull out some cash to cover my portion of the bill, but my mind went instantly blank when large, warm fingers closed around my wrist.