“I think there’s a car service thing out front. Or I could walk.” She does that little shoulder shrug again, and all it does is make me wonder how soft they are under her dress.
Glenda is never one to show skin. In fact, she makes a point to always cover her body. I’ve only ever seen her bare arms once, and just that little amount drove me to the edge of insanity. I think I jacked off for a week just envisioning the inside of her wrists.
“I’m leaving too.” I nod toward the dance floor. “This isn’t really my scene.” I hesitate and then decide I’ve gone this far, what’s a little further? “Can I walk you home?”
“You want to walk me home?” She sounds confused, and it’s like a dagger to my heart.
“Never mind, I’m sure you’ve got someone that—”
“Yes, please.” She cuts me off and then nibbles on her bottom lip nervously. “I mean, if you’re leaving anyway.”
I nod, and then we walk through the ballroom together and out the front door. Thankfully, the guests are taking advantage of the open bar, so they don’t notice the two of us leaving. Especially Glenda’s father. He’s an asshole of the highest degree, but somehow his children turned out to be good people in spite of him.
“Your family's home is close to us, isn’t it?” Glenda asks, breaking into my thoughts.
“Yes, their estate is just two properties over.”
“Do you live there with them? I know Amelia did until the wedding.”
“I’m there a good bit for work, and I have a room still in their home, but I generally stay at my home that’s on our family's land in the country.”
“Oh really?” She turns to me and smiles widely. “I never get out of the city. When I was little, I dreamed of moving to a house in the country so I could raise baby goats and read by a lake.” She laughs and shakes her head. “That actually still sounds nice.”
“I think my parents are planning on throwing me a surprise party this weekend if you’d like to come see it. I don’t have baby goats, but I do have baby chicks and a miniature cow named Stella.”
“Oh my gosh, I have so many questions.” She stops walking and turns to face me. “You have a miniature cow?”
I nod and feel the edges of my lip turn up in a half-smile. Damn, it’s been a long time since I’ve done that.
“And how do you know your parents are throwing you a surprise party? Is it your birthday?”
“Yes, and they’re terrible at keeping secrets. They get so excited things slip.” I pause for a second and try to think of other ways to entice her to come. “There’s also a lake and a guest cottage.”
“That sounds so lovely.”
“If you, I mean, your family would like to come for the weekend, you’re more than welcome.” I clear my throat and look down at my feet as they keep pace with her shorter strides.
“I’ll talk to my parents and see what they say.” Some of the sunshine has left her voice, and I hate to think it’s because of them. Or because she’s considering spending the weekend at my place.
“My family is staying, so it wouldn’t be only you. And you’d have the whole guest cottage to yourself.” I clear my throat and try to backtrack. “It was just a thought. Forget I said anything.”
“It’s so nice of you to invite me. I’ll just need to get permission.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “You know how these things go.”
“I would think it would be an easy decision considering we’re family now.” I chance a look over at her and see her eyes widen and her smile grow.
“You’re exactly right. That’s just what I’ll tell them.”
The way she’s blushing reminds me of the night we danced together at the benefit. I had a mask on, and for one beautiful night I was free to talk to Glenda, to hold her in my arms and twirl her around the dance floor like the princess she is. That one night is locked tight inside my heart for eternity, and no matter what happens for the rest of my life, that memory will live within me.
Seeing her at the wedding today was a reminder of all that I want, and all that I can’t have. Her father would refuse an offer of marriage to me no matter how much I offered because I know exactly what he would say. I know, because I overheard him after my accident telling his wife that I was damaged goods. And that I’d be lucky to find a woman that could stand the sight of me.
Even all this time later, the words that I wasn’t meant to hear still sting. I know I’m not good enough for Glenda, but now that our families are joined, maybe I can just be around her more and spend time in her presence. It’s selfish to think that she could ever look at me and see more than my scars, but I’ve loved her since I knew what love was, and I can’t give up on her. Not now, not ever.
“This is me.” We stop in front of her gate, and I look down at her, trying to keep my face in the shadows.
“Let me see your phone.” I hold out my hand, and to my surprise she hands it over without hesitating. I program in my number and send myself a text before handing it back. “Let me know about this weekend, and I’ll have the staff open the house for you.”
“I will.” She holds the phone close to her chest and bounces on her toes a little before she goes through the gate. “Good night, Cillian.”
I stand there for a long time after I watch her walk inside and close the door behind her. All I can hear is her voice saying my name, and I want it tattooed on the inside of my soul. One way or another, I have to convince Glenda that I’m good enough to belong to her.
Chapter Three
Glenda
I slept terribly. It’s been a long time since I had nightmares, but every time I would start to doze off, one would start to creep up, and I’d jerk myself awake. It’s the stress of the unknown lurking around me, and it’s starting to feel like my days are numbered. I kick my blankets away because I’m not going back to bed even though I’m exhausted.
There was one silver lining through the night, though. When I would think about Cillian, everything else would be forgotten for those brief moments.
Reaching for my phone on my nightstand, I pull it off the charger and power it on. I’d turned it off after the tenth time I almost texted Cillian. I figured if I powered it off then I would have time to come to my senses if I tried to turn it on and text him in the middle of the night. The last thing I wanted to do was come off needy. You can’t text someone minutes after they give you their number. Can you? I’m not sure what the rules are since I’m not allowed to date.
Since it’s the next day, I would think it’s been enough time. Knowing I’m going to crack at some point, I bite the bullet and send the text. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since he left me last night. Who am I kidding? I haven't stopped thinking about him since the Monarch charity event.
Me: Morning! Thanks again for walking me home last night.
The wedding was the first time I got to officially meet Cillian. He’s always been so mysterious to me. A few times I tried to catch his eye, wondering if he even remembered that we danced together at the Monarch event. I don’t think he does because he hasn’t mentioned it.