“Careful who you’re calling devil, big brother.”
I grinned, leaning back in my chair. “If the shoe fits…”
“I’m an angel.”
I nearly choked on my cough. Juliette was the reason I had salt and pepper at my temples at the age of thirty-six. “Keep telling yourself that. How are you? How are classes?”
Juliette sighed, and I could picture her curling up in her favorite chair in her apartment off campus. “Killing me. Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to go to Stanford again?”
“Because you’re going to be the most kick-ass lawyer I’ve ever known.”
“I really hope so. But I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have taken a summer class. I need a break.”
I leaned forward in my chair. “Why don’t you come up here for a week? You said this one’s online, right?” I wanted to lay eyes on my baby sister. Make sure she wasn’t pushing herself too hard.
“So you can make sure I’m eating properly and taking my vitamins?”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t be a worrywart. I’m fine. I just wanted to whine.”
I picked up a pen from my desk and twirled it between my fingers. “You know you can always whine to me.”
“And I love you for it.” She was quiet for a moment. “I was actually thinking about heading to Cabo for a long weekend with some girlfriends. Beaches and a few margaritas. What do you say, big brother?”
“Is that an invitation?”
She choked on a laugh. “You might be a bit of a buzzkill…”
“Let me guess, you want me to foot the bill.”
“You love me, right? And you know how hard I’m working.”
I did, and Juliette deserved a break to blow off some steam. “Fine, put it on my credit card. But no presidential suites, Jules.”
I’d learned the hard way that I had to give that disclaimer.
“A suite might be fun…” She let the words dangle.
“Jules,” I warned.
“Oh, all right. We’ll stay in one of the tiny regular rooms.” Her voice got faraway for a moment. “Hey, I’ve got another call, I need to jump.”
“A boy?”
She groaned. “Mason…”
“Tell him if he hurts you, I’ll kill him.”
“I’ll be sure to relay exactly that to my study buddy.”
“He might say he wants to study, but really—”
“Mason!” Juliette cut me off. “I do not want to have this conversation with you. The first time was awkward enough.”
My twenty-something-self trying to talk to sixteen-year-old Juliette about birth control and safe sex had been painful, to say the least. “Trust me, I have zero desire to repeat that.”
“Thank God. Talk to you later, brother bear.”
She hung up before I could tell her I loved her. I stared at the photos on my desk. Two. It seemed empty. Despite the dream job and amazing friends, I felt so damn alone sometimes. I’d spent most of my dating years raising Jules, and I’d missed the train on finding someone. I didn’t regret it for a moment. But it didn’t change the fact that things simply felt lonely now.
3
Anna
Lyla ran out of the lake, making a beeline for me. She threw her arms around me. I shrieked as the freezing-cold water dripped off her and onto my bare legs. “You little monster.” I went for her sides, tickling her.
She dissolved into giggles, falling into my lap. “I love it here. I’m so happy we moved.”
Her words were music to my ears. I’d been nervous when Chelsea had first broached the subject. Sutter Lake was different from Portland, and I wasn’t sure if she and the kids would love it as much as I did. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The last two weeks I’d spent taking care of my niece and nephew, they’d bloomed in this slower pace of life. They’d also fallen right into my group of friends.
I blew a raspberry on Lyla’s neck. “I’m so glad.”
She leapt from my lap and ran back to the water, swimming out towards the massive inflatable trampoline Kennedy and Cain had installed this year. She made it to the ladder in under two minutes.
“She swims like a fish,” Kennedy said, adjusting her sunglasses.
“I don’t know how. She’s barely had lessons.”
Our friend Taylor looked up from the little girl in her arms. “She’s got a gift. You should get her in lessons at the center. She might be a good candidate for the swim team. I help out a couple of times a week and can put you in touch with the coach.”
“That would be great.” School didn’t start for months, but the kids needed ways to meet friends and stay active. I typed out a quick text to Chelsea.
Me: What do you think about swim team for Lyla? I can sign her up.
I dropped the phone back into my lap as Jensen let out a loud catcall whistle.
Tessa covered her ears. “Are you trying to make me lose my hearing?”
J shrugged. “I want those sexy men to know they’re appreciated.”
“That’s my girl,” Jensen’s grandmother, Irma, said as she looked up from her book. “And a fine bunch of specimens they are. We should make ourselves a calendar.”
“Mom,” Sarah chastised as she handed her a glass of lemonade.
“What? I’m old, not dead. I can appreciate those abs of steel. And those v-things. Those are my favorite.”
Sarah let out an exasperated sigh. “One of those men is your grandson.”
“I’m not looking at him. I’m looking at the others.”
A laugh bubbled up as I glanced out at the trampoline. But that sound died in my throat. I knew the other guys were there, tossing laughing kids off the floating structure, some in life jackets, others only in swimsuits. But my eyes seemed to be pulled to only one form. Lightly tanned skin and lean muscle. Mason’s head tipped back as he laughed. So damn carefree as if he’d never had a worry in the world.
“You’ve got a little drool there,” Kennedy whispered.
I snapped my gaze away. “Sorry, I spaced.”
“Mm-hmm. You know, you could always try talking to him.”
“I do talk to him.”
She rolled her eyes. “To bark orders at him or scowl in his direction. Try not looking like you want to murder him and ask him something normal, like how it’s been settling into Sutter Lake.”
“You know I don’t do normal well.”
Kennedy laid a hand on my forearm. “Normal was a bad word choice. Normal is overrated and boring.”
I couldn’t help looking out at the trampoline again. Mason launched Lyla into the air as she shrieked in delight. That man screamed: normal. He would want a wife who baked cookies and gave him two-point-five kids and adopted a golden retriever. He wouldn’t want someone who had a permanent record and countless demons.
Kenz squeezed my arm. “You have a messed-up idea of who you are and what you’re worth. Your past doesn’t determine who you are now.”
I wished I could believe that, but I knew the truth. The past determined everything. It haunted and taunted, popping up when you least expected it with a sucker punch to the solar plexus. “I’m happy as I am. I don’t need anything more than what I have.”