Lydia didn't just let Liam's instructions dictate her choices, she talked to me. Not that I offered her much to work with, but I had to give her points for trying and really, after the last few months, the hair wash, trim, and blowout, followed by the mani/pedi did the impossible.
It let me relax.
We Would Bleed for Each Other
Jasper
"Yo," Milo called from behind me, but I ignored him and kept going. I wanted to be anywhere but here. In fact, I had zero intentions of hanging out at this overpriced, jacket-required, pompous, arrogant, filled-to-the-fucking-brim-with-fuckwads, country club. Liam was loaded.
Well, fucking yay for him.
I'd rather go back to Granger's and get a beer and play some pool.
"Asshole," Milo said as he caught my shoulder and hauled me to a stop. I pivoted to glare at him and he didn't flinch. Why would he? We were really fucking evenly matched. "I'm talking to you."
"I heard you the first time and my answer hasn't changed. I had a drink, now I'm going back to our side of town. The air's too fucking thin here."
Milo sighed and I dug into my pocket for smokes. The fact he pinched the bridge of his nose as he fell into step with me was the only thing slowing my pace. We followed the drive with its too perfectly manicured lawn. I'd bet money they sprayed it with some chemicals to get that postcard perfect shade of green.
What a fucking waste of money.
Cigarette lit, I ignored the disapproving and scandalized looks being tossed our way as we walked. There was a valet. But fuck that, no one drove my car but me. That meant I'd had to park it well away from their manicured lawns and white columned facing building. Heaven forbid, the smell of car exhaust and grease get anywhere near their ultra tidy and pristine establishment.
"Jas, we talked about this," Milo said in that same tone he used when Freddie was tripping or Vaughn lost it on someone abusing women or Kellan had it up to here with the rest of us. The tone that kept all of us even and on track. You chilled the fuck out and listened, because he wouldn't yell and rage.
He hadn't even raged when we'd found Freddie in that shipping container and killed the mother fucker who attacked him. He'd been ice cold.
"We did," I told him, cutting him some slack but not slowing my pace as I sucked in a deep drag. "You have a plan. I'm down with the plan and I'll happily follow it. The plan doesn't include me having to rub elbows with a bunch of pretentious fucks in a place that probably wouldn't even hire us to be the trash collectors."
Milo snorted. "Places like this don't make trash." He bumped his shoulder to mine. "And you forget fucker, the plan is to make them take care of our trash."
I shook my head. I hadn't forgotten that. Milo thought a dozen steps ahead. He always had. His plans took patience, an eye on the future, and the sobriety to execute them on a schedule. They weren't full proof, but he'd never let us down. Not once. His plans had plans.
The sun beat down on us as we reached the parking lot and crossed to the far side, where I'd parked the car. It was the first one I bought. A piece of shit, but between me, Milo, and Kellan, we'd rebuilt her and last year I'd finally been able to afford a full body restore. She was perfect.
"Jas," Milo said as I opened the door. "This plan doesn't work if it's not all of us."
"Does it work if I'm not into the brown-nosing of the elite in there?" I motioned toward the main building, still visible beyond the white fencing and landscaped additions.
"We're stronger together," Milo said, then sighed. "But I get it. I'm not into pretending to be someone I'm not, either."
We shared a long look, but I cracked first. The laughter acted like a balm over the sharp edges of my temper. Pretending to be the someone we weren't, was part and par for the course. We had to fake it until we made it. It was how we'd begun to carve out a place for us before we were all even free of the foster system. Together, committed and right now we just needed Freddie to age out and we'd pick him up and he'd move in for real.
Until then...
"You still want to try and see her?" I asked, because that was later this week.
"I do," Milo said softly. "You don't have to go with."
"Shut the fuck up." I finished the cigarette and ground it out against their pristine white parking lot cement. Let them clean up after me. "Of course we're going. We'd go to watch your back anyway."
Milo grimaced.
"What?"
"Nothing," he said even as he scratched at his jaw.
"It's not nothing," I argued. "You went from trying to persuade me back into line to looking like hell. What is it?"
The secrets hidden behind Milo's dark eyes had to be legion. Not that we kept much from each other. The one area that was sacrosanct, however, was her.
"Emersyn Sharpe is a part of this world," he reminded me, and I let out a long breath. "We need to fit into it."
"Man, if you want to just tell her who you are—do it."
"No," Milo said, with a firm shake of his head, and just like that his expression shut down. “This world? Our world? No. I don't want it touching her. But when we're strong enough and we have what we need to move up? Then... then I'll think about it."
He tapped the top of my car.
"Go back to the clubhouse, have a beer, get laid. We'll finish up here and see you later." With that, he turned on his heel.
"Raptor," I said quietly and he paused. "You're more than good enough for her. You've loved her..."
"Stop," he ordered. "Don't push me on this, Hawk." Like me, he'd gone to the bird names we'd all begun to adopt. They gave us a stronger air even when we were scrawnier kids. They had freedom and the power to be free. Power we craved and we would obtain.
Power we'd already begun to accumulate.
He held my gaze for a moment, and I finally nodded. He was wrong, she deserved the chance to know him, and fuck knew, she deserved to know what he'd done for her. What he'd sacrificed. But I kept all of that out of my expression.
Raptor's sister was the one thing we were never allowed to cross him on.
He'd killed a man for her before.
I had no doubt he'd happily kill more. And I'd be right there with him.
We bled for each other.
We'd bleed for her, and we'd bleed the world for her, if necessary.
Whatever he searched for in my face, he must have found it because his tight expression relaxed. "Go get your dick sucked," he told me, before turning away. "It might fix your mood."
"Maybe you should take your own advice," I called after him. "See if you can get a taste of expensive pussy."
His laughter floated back and I dropped into the car, starting it up. Well, we'd be seeing the kid in a few days. Maybe he'd tell her who he was then.
Maybe not.
But seeing her always tore him up inside, so we'd better be ready to spill some blood after the trip.
Chapter 4
Jasper
The fog of tension in the room was so thick, it made breathing hard. The bruises on my ribs and face didn't help. Doc handed me a second ice pack and sat near enough to intercept Milo if necessary. It was strange as fuck to think of Doc protecting me. The day had dragged on. Every hour scraped past like a fresh injury.