Bree’s been working as our nanny for a few years since returning from a short stint in grad school in New York. Originally, this guest cottage had a television in both the bedroom and the living room, but when she moved back, Bree asked us to remove the one in the living room.
“Too distracting,” she’d said, and since she’d returned to Los Angeles to work on a novel, I could hardly argue. We replaced the television console with a huge writing desk. Today, that desk has been transformed into a station for dressing my kids.
“You could’ve done this in their rooms, you know.” I hear the amusement in my voice.
She shrugs. “They like coming over here. And I think it makes them feel special to go out to get all fancied up. It’s a big day, after all. It’s not often that kids get to be involved in their grandparents’ wedding.”
That much was true.
Anne slides down my body, then tugs at my hand. “Bradley and Lara are already dressed. Come see? Come see?” I let her drag me into the bedroom then bend down as my little boy and oldest daughter run towards me.
“Hold up a second, let me look at you.” I lean back, pretending to eye them critically. “Well, the good news is that the three of you look absolutely amazing. The bad news is, I don’t think you can stay clean until the wedding.”
“Yes, we can, Mommy,” Lara says indignantly.
“All right. I believe you. I’m going to put you in charge of making sure the others stay clean, too.”
She crosses her arm and nods her head. “Aye aye, Captain Mommy.”
Behind her, Anne starts to twirl, making the skirt on her pink party dress flare out. The girls and I are dressed in the same shade of pink, while Bradley wears a pink shirt under his toddler suit. They look like precious little dolls. And I wonder if there’s even the slightest chance that they really will manage to stay tidy for the next hour. Or at least until Evelyn and Frank can see them.
Since confidence is low, I pull out my phone and snap a few pictures. Better safe than sorry.
Today, only the girls are walking down the aisle ahead of Evelyn. At our vow renewal next week, the girls will walk with their little brother. I have a feeling it may all devolve into chaos, and I honestly can’t wait to see what happens.
“Do you want me to get them out of your hair?” I ask Bree, as I leave the kids in the bedroom and return to the living area.
“No, no, don’t be silly. In fact, if you want I can get the girls all the way to the staging point with Damien. That way you don’t have to worry about them and take all the pictures you want.”
“That would be fabulous. Thanks, Bree.”
“It’s no problem at all. I’ll bring Bradley to you as soon as I have the girls in place.”
“No, no. I can take Bradley. That’s not a problem. But thank you for helping with the girls. And they will love the adventure of doing this with you.”
She grins. “I’m really excited about today. I love Evelyn and Frank. But, Nikki, I’m even more excited about next week. I see the way you guys are together, and I’m so glad that you’re doing this ceremony. It just seems special, you know?”
I feel the glow of happiness running through me. “Yes,” I say. “I know exactly what you mean.”
I pop back into the bedroom long enough to give the girls kisses, then I hoist up Bradley and tell him we’re going to go see Paw-paw before the guests arrive.
I give Bree a quick one-armed hug, then head out to go find my father for a quick pre-wedding chat. Then my plan is to find Evelyn and help her with the dress. I know she can manage on her own, but a bride should have girls around her before she walks down the aisle.
I find Frank in one of the first floor guest rooms. We don’t use this part of the house very often, but it was designed to allow for entertaining several overnight guests, so there are rooms tucked away in the back down a different corridor from either the gym or the kitchen.
I give a quick tap on the door, then push it open when he calls out, “Come in!”
I find him pacing the room in a dapper gray suit, and I’m struck with a childhood memory of him nervously pacing backstage at one of my toddler beauty pageants. He’d left when I was a baby, but knowing he’d come back to see me in those pageants made all the crap my mother put me through more bearable.
“Oh, sweetie,” he says when I tell him as much, “I may regret admitting this to you, but I only went to one of your pageants. I didn’t approve of what your mother was putting you through, and when I talked to you on the phone, you never seemed to be having fun.”
“We talked on the phone?”
He nods, looking ashamed. “I should have kept it up once I started traveling after the divorce was final. I didn’t.” He runs his fingers through his tidy hair, mussing it.
I’m not sure what to say, so I stay quiet.
Silence lingers, then he finally clears his throat. “The truth is, I went to that one pageant only because I was bringing your mother divorce papers to sign. Seeing you was a perk, but it wasn’t the reason I went.”
“Oh. I hadn’t realized that.”
He sighs, then comes over and puts his hands on my shoulders. “I was a horrible father to you. I’m so sorry.”
“Frank,” I say. “Dad. We’ve been over this. I’m not going to disagree. You sucked. But you’ve made it up to me. Do I have to keep repeating that?”
He chuckles. “No. I believe you. I do. It’s a miracle, but I believe that you’ve really forgiven me for those years.”
“You need to forgive yourself.”
This time, he doesn’t chuckle, but his mouth twists into something that almost resembles a smile.
“I think I have. Almost. Because it’s important to you. And because I need to accept the mistakes in my past so I can move past them.”
“Exactly.” I know he’s gotten some counseling about his issues, and he’s told me that it’s helped. But when I look at him now, I see shadows, and they scare me. “Daddy? What’s wrong?”
On my hip, Bradley squirms, and I put him down. The floor is pristine, thanks to Gregory overseeing the housework, so I know he won’t get his cute little suit too dusty.
“I’m fine. Fine.” Frank shakes his head, but his expression is haunted.
“Okay, now you’re scaring me. Seriously. What’s going on? You’re not having cold feet are you?”
His eyes widen. “Oh, no. No. About marrying Evelyn? Never. Except, okay, yes.”
I feel an icy chill. “What do you mean?”
He starts pacing again, and I realize we’re back to whatever was bothering him before Bradley and I interrupted. “I don’t know how to do this.” His voice is so soft I can barely hear him. “I was a terrible father to you. I was a terrible husband to Elizabeth. What if I’m a terrible husband to Evelyn?”
“You won’t be.” I tell him. “And you were not a terrible husband to Elizabeth. She was a terrible wife.”
“Sweetheart, I appreciate the loyalty. But I left when you were barely walking. You don’t know what I was like.”
“But I know her. And I know you now. And there is no doubt in my mind that Elizabeth Fairchild destroyed both of us. But it’s not going to be that way with Evelyn.”