Reluctantly, I released her hand. She patted my thigh, and I swallowed hard again. Cal did that a lot, and I wondered if he’d picked it up from her. It was different when he made the gesture. This one was filled with motherly love.
I was so wrong.
The realization crashed on me like the house had collapsed. We should’ve never kept our relationship a secret. Not from his family, at least. We’d missed this. And it wasn’t just me, although selfishly I wished I’d had this feeling for all these years.
Could I have called her just to talk? Would she have taught me how to cook? Would she have made room for Lincoln and Teague at her table? Yes. One hundred percent. Yes.
But if I’d been accepted into their family all those years ago, how much more painful would the loss of Cal have been? Because it wouldn’t have just been him. It would’ve been all of them.
“Do you not like lasagna?” Her brow furrowed as she looked at my untouched plate.
“Thank you for having me,” I said quietly.
She squeezed my thigh again. “Sweetheart, you’re welcome here anytime.”
Cal nudged my foot under the table in silent support. Sitting across from me was the man I fell in love with. The man who’d stolen my heart and never given it back.
And I knew that the ugly version of him had been a lie.
Because I’d never seen that Cal again.
Chapter Eleven
Cal
“I can’t cook like that.”
Beau worried her lip in her teeth as we walked from Ma’s to the truck.
I laughed. “I’m pretty sure not too many people can.” I unlocked the door and held it open. “Sometimes I wonder if she sees invisible people or something. Because she cooks enough for the entire neighborhood every time.”
She patted her stomach. “It was so good, but I thought I was going to throw up when she piled a third helping on my plate.”
I groaned. “Ugh. Me too.”
“Cal!”
I wheeled around.
“You forgot your leftovers.” Ma held up three foil pans. Three. Like she wouldn’t feed us again for a month.
I jogged back up the walk and took the pans before kissing her cheek.
She patted mine. “I like her.”
Something in me warmed. I already knew she would, but hearing the words . . . it felt . . . good.
“Bring her back soon.”
“Since we have all these leftovers, we don’t have a reason to for a while.” I grinned.
“Garrett Calhoun . . .”
“Love you, Ma. I’ll call you later.”
She went on her tiptoes and waved. “Bye, sweetheart. You come see me anytime.”
Beau waved back. “I will.”
“Mind holding this?” I placed the pans in Beau’s lap and closed the door.
There were two SUVs parked a few houses in front and behind. They were older models that fit in the neighborhood. Ones that wouldn’t draw attention.
I had to give credit to Daniel Elliott. He was smart.
And I had peace of mind knowing someone was watching over Ma when I wasn’t there.
Especially when the black sedan was parked across the street.
I hesitated before I cranked the engine.
The windows of the car were so dark, I couldn’t see if her father was inside. I doubted he’d get his hands dirty, but who knew?
And I felt guilty leaving Ma, even though the security detail was made up of ex-military special ops guys who could dismantle me before I could blink.
“Call your brother.” I inclined my head toward the sedan.
Beau stiffened. “Should we go back inside?”
I stared straight ahead, torn between options. When it came to my family’s safety, I wanted to be the one to take care of them. But I was running on no sleep. I couldn’t be in a million places at once. And I had to learn to trust other people to carry some of this load. Especially expertly trained people.
I knew that the security team could do a better job than me at protecting Ma, but still couldn’t shake the ingrained feeling I should be the one watching over her.
What was I going to do? Skip work tomorrow?
I couldn’t. I had to scrape up bail money for Joe.
And I wasn’t going to live under some asshole’s iron rule. He’d dictated my life with Beau for too long. If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be my wife now. But if it weren’t for him, maybe I’d have never had to let her go in the first place.
“Cal?”
“I should call Aaron. See if he can come stay with her tonight. I’m pretty sure he’s off tomorrow.”
We both pulled out our phones. And even after Lincoln was aware their father was watching Ma’s and Aaron had agreed to stay with her, I didn’t feel better as we drove away.
“We should take all this food to Daniel’s where it will be appreciated,” Beau said.
I sighed. She was right.
I was used to constantly being around people, whether it was my family or at the firehouse, but I needed some quiet.
“Tomorrow.” It would make more sense for me to go grab a bag so we could stay with Teague or the Elliotts in their secure building. Because in the morning, I was going to have to drop Beau by there anyway.
But I wanted my shitty apartment.
After we did drive-bys of all my brothers’ houses.
I turned up the radio and held up my hand, palm up. I needed Beau’s strength and energy, but I couldn’t just take it. She had to meet me in the middle.
When her delicate hand closed around mine, something in my chest eased. I’d been wound up tight for . . . I couldn’t remember how long. But it was taking its toll.
She cracked her window, letting in some fresh night air, and leaned her head back against the seat.
A few minutes later, we rolled by Bobby’s. There was security somewhere. I’d been promised. But they were so discreet, I couldn’t make them out.
However there was no missing the black sedan parked across the street from my oldest brother’s house.
“Son of a . . .” What had I expected? That her father’s threats were empty promises?
We cruised to Mike’s.
Another sedan with blacked-out windows.
“I’m sorry,” Beau said when we passed by Ben’s.
I squeezed her fingers.
“I think I’m so used to being followed, it just doesn’t register.” She shook her head. “That’s crazy.”
“He’s crazy,” I corrected. “Why does he do this to you?”
“I-I don’t know. But I’m such a fool. I thought I’d learned to zig and zag enough to shake him. But I’m wrong.” She rolled her chain between her fingers.
“Nobody is going to follow my wife around,” I growled.
My wife.
I was getting way too comfortable with that term.
“How are you going to stop him?” she asked incredulously.
I turned onto Aaron’s street. “Haven’t figured that out yet.”
My brother had texted he was at Ma’s already, but there was another black sedan parked near his place.
Joe’s house—or what was left of it—was a couple blocks away. Might as well see what was happening over there.