“I’m not lying.”
“And I’m not Noah,” he deadpans back.
“And does Noah have a point?”
Noah’s face shifts, his expression growing serious. “I wondered what your thoughts were this weekend. That’s it.”
And it kills me that he pronounced weekend like it was two separate words. He slowly drew it out.
The words.
His statement.
Everything about Noah is slow and decisive.
“I thought about a lot of things,” I say as the tardy bell goes off.
Mr. Johnson passes out an assignment for us to work on during class.
“So, you thought about your time here?” Noah asks, apparently not done with the conversation.
“Yeah.”
“What about that time you saw me naked?” Noah whispers.
“Mostly naked,” I clarify.
“Did you think about that?”
“Of course not.”
“What about when you sat on my lap in bed?” he asks, his eyes finding mine.
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Yes,” he replies.
“It didn’t come to my mind.”
“What about yesterday? You asked me about … wings.”
“Consider it irrelevant. Nothing will change things,” I say, shaking my head.
“And what about last night?”
I suck in an unsteady breath, not sure what last night meant. The sweats. The tears. The dream. The … hug.
“I don’t know, Noah. Do you?”
Noah bites the inside of his cheek, his lips pulling to the side. “Well, what about the thought of having me fully? Now that you’re staying.” Noah’s brows weave together in uncertainty.
My mouth slips open at the thought of having Noah. Fully having him.
I can’t even imagine it.
“It hasn’t crossed my mind,” I say back.
“Pity.”
“Is it? Why would I want someone who only wants me because it’s convenient?” I growl.
“I wouldn’t call these circumstances convenient,” Noah says, exasperated.
“What would you call them?”
“Predetermined,” Noah replies.
I raise my eyebrows at him before pulling my attention back to our assignment.
I keep my head down and focus on the assignment—and not Noah—until the bell goes off. I look up as it rings out, not sure how that even happened. It felt like we were only in class for maybe fifteen minutes. I close my textbook, putting it into my bag.
“I can see that you’re frustrated. You’ve got a lot of tension in you,” Noah says as we walk out of class.
“Is it that obvious?” I ask as I make my way to my locker.
“Yes. It’s very clear. Especially when you spend the entire class ignoring me.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“No?”
“No. And no amount of flirting or teasing me is going to change that.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re tense,” Noah says, his hands coming down onto my shoulders. He rubs his thumbs into my skin, quickly finding a knot.
A moan escapes my mouth. Noah’s hands on me feel amazing, and I have to focus all of my energy on not letting my eyes roll back.
“See,” he says, spinning me around to face him. “Two seconds with my hands on you, and you’ve already loosened up.”
“That little nervous knot was put there by you!” I try not to shout.
Noah grins. “Nervous knot. I like that. I might have to start calling you my nervous knot.” He’s beaming, and it makes it hard not to smile back at him.
“It’s kind of fitting,” I agree with a laugh.
But then I catch myself.
“This nervous knot is fine on her own. Okay? Like you said, stand on my own feet.”
“I know what I said. But think about it, Mal. Two seconds with my hands on you, and your eyes are rolling. Imagine what might happen if you gave me a few more seconds. Or minutes even. I think I could work out a lot of that tension,” Noah says, towering in front of me.
“In my shoulders?”
“To start with.” Noah gives me a lopsided smile and then walks off down the hall, leaving me in a puddle. An unwound, loose, knotless puddle that can’t feel her legs.
Messing with me.
Latin
I can still feel Noah’s hands on my shoulders as I sit down in class. It amazes me how he manages to somehow find the center of my problem. And he makes fixing it so easy. If I’m struggling with classwork, he helps me. If I’m sad, he tries to cheer me up. If I’m angry, he finds ways to get the energy out of me. And apparently, when I’m nervous, his hands on me really do help.
But I kind of wish that they didn’t.
And that he wasn’t always right.
But somehow, Noah always finds a way to fix things. I just don’t know if he realizes yet that so many of my problems would be fixed if things were different between us.
“I can’t believe you cried last night. And this morning. It sort of feels like all my efforts went to shit,” Mohammad says, sliding into the seat next to mine.
I push Noah out of my mind, focusing on Mohammad.
“Wait, you knew I cried last night?” I ask, connecting our eyes.
“It was obvious after you said good-bye to Noah. Your eyes were all red.”
“You never said anything.”
“I didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it with Olivia and Naomi there,” Mohammad replies.
“I’m sorry if I put a damper on your efforts. I didn’t mean to.”
“Are you two good now? I mean, this morning, you were talking. You looked uncomfortable though,” Mohammad asks as he pulls out his notebook.
“He’s messing with me again,” I confide, pursing my lips.
Mohammad lets out a sigh. “He wants you.”
I shake my head.
“He wants to play with me,” I clarify. “At least, I think he does.”
“Kinky.” Mohammad grins.
“Not kinky,” I disagree.
Mohammad’s eyes move up toward the corner, like he’s working through his thoughts. “Well, you aren’t dating Harry. You aren’t dating anyone.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
“It’s a good thing. Get kinky with Noah. Sort things out. See what happens. Just be sure before you do,” Mohammad warns.
“Be sure of what?” I tilt my head at him.
“Well, preferably wait until after Harry’s thing tonight, seeing as you agreed to be his date. And be sure. You don’t want to fuck around with them. Despite the whole date who you want agreement, I don’t believe it will last.”
I let out a sigh.
“You’re very encouraging today, and I appreciate that. But you also just contradicted your previous advice,” I point out.
“All right, maybe a bit,” Mohammad admits.
“A bit?” I laugh.
“Look, get kinky with whoever. Just make sure it’s only with one of them,” Mohammad insists.
“Says the guy with two dates tonight!” I cry out. “And seriously, you know I wouldn’t hook up with both of them.” I flare my eyes at him, annoyed he’d even think I would.