Tonight, though, I feel I’ve earned the right to cry.
Juanita puts her hand on my back, lets me sob.
‘It’s all right, Evie, just cry,’ she says, rubbing my back for a good minute or two. I like how she doesn’t tell me everything is going to be fine. She knows better than that.
When I finally manage to calm down, it’s Juanita’s turn to talk. As the tears dry on my face, she explains that not long after Diane and I took off, some kids came back from the washroom building screaming their heads off about a dead boy. The fuzz came, sirens blaring, and most of our crowd took off right away. We know better than to stick around when the cops show. It’s not uncommon for fights to break out at Winkler’s, but it’s common that the kids we hang out with get the blame, no matter who starts it.
‘Nobody said anything? Like who they think did it? Nobody spotted us?’
‘Nope,’ says Juanita with a shake of her head. ‘But damn, you should have seen those tea sippers crying. Well, forget them. They shouldn’t have been at Winkler’s in the first place. And that boy deserved what he got for what he tried to do to you.’ She scowls.
I think about Diane saying she knew Preston Fowler since they were kids. I try to imagine him as a little boy, and I can’t square that with the monster who attacked me. I squeeze my eyes shut. It’s too much to think about.
‘Listen, I hate to admit it, but a River Oaks girl saved my life tonight,’ I say, finally opening my eyes again. ‘Just remember that.’
‘Yeah,’ says Juanita. ‘But she goes to Eastside now, right? How come?’
‘She wouldn’t say. The place she lives in with her aunt is a real dump. She’s hiding something, but I don’t know what it is.’ I frown, remembering Diane’s spotless bedroom in the middle of that cluttered house.
‘Well, she’s got something more to hide after tonight, that’s for sure,’ Juanita answers. She presses her lips together in thought. ‘You don’t think she’d do something stupid and confess, do you?’
The idea had crossed my mind. If tonight sent me into a tailspin, I can’t imagine what it must be doing to a girl who has heaps of clothes and such nice manners. It might all end up being too much for her. And anyway, if there was ever a girl who was going to get the fuzz to believe it was all self-defense, it’s a pretty rich girl like Diane. Even if she does live on our side of town now.
When I tell Juanita as much, she agrees that I need to get Diane in with our crowd on Monday at school.
‘We can figure her out a little more,’ says Juanita. ‘Get a sense of what sort of risk she is.’ There’s a calm about Juanita that I can’t help but admire. She’s acting like this is a regular problem and all we need is a plan. Like this is the same as sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night or lifting smokes from the drugstore or handling a boy who thinks he can get fresh with her just because of what part of town she lives in and what sort of makeup she wears.
But she knows this is different, and so do I.
‘I have to take my grandmother to church tomorrow,’ I say, resigned. ‘I promised my mother. I’m dreading it. I wanted to stay home, just in case.’
Juanita rests an arm around my shoulders and gives me a squeeze. Then she raises her voice an octave or two, makes it real sweet. ‘Just say a prayer to God and everything will be just peachy!’ Then she winks. Juanita shares as much fondness for church as I do.
‘Listen, I don’t think the fuzz suspect you had anything to do with this. Why would they? Let’s meet up at the park tomorrow morning after you finish being holy. You, me, Sunny, and Connie. You can fill the rest of the girls in on what happened. We’ll figure out what to do next.’
I tug my knees up closer to my chest. The night is getting colder. I wish I had my smokes.
Juanita stifles a yawn.
‘You need to go to bed,’ I say.
‘I’ll stay out here as long as you need me to, all right?’
I lean toward Juanita, rest my head on her shoulder. I’m so grateful for her. But the truth is, I’m tired, too. Bone-tired.
‘Let’s go inside,’ I say. My voice comes out a whisper.
‘If you’re sure,’ says Juanita. ‘But tomorrow. The park. Eleven o’clock. You take Grandma to church, and I’ll round up the rest of the girls. Yeah?’
‘Yeah,’ I say. And Juanita and I sit there for a few more beats, just long enough for me to be thankful again for friends who have my back. After we get up, I shoot Juanita a weary smile before I slip back inside my house.
The headline jumps out at us from the front page of the Post. Big, bold letters announcing RIVER OAKS YOUTH STABBED BY UNKNOWN ASSAILANT, and underneath that, a smaller headline letting every reader know that Preston Fowler wasn’t just any River Oaks boy, but the son of Lamar Fowler, former city councilman, who made a fortune in oil and knows all the best people.
‘Damn,’ says Connie, drawing out the curse. ‘Diane sure did pick an important kid to murder.’
‘Jeez, Connie,’ Juanita answers, slipping an arm around me, ‘do you have to say “murder” like that?’
Juanita’s on one side of me on the park bench, Connie on the other, and Sunny is tucked in on the far side of Connie, leaning in as much as she can to see the paper on Connie’s lap.
‘Well, what do you want me to say?’ Connie argues.
‘Does it count as murder if someone’s trying to protect somebody else?’ Sunny asks, wrinkling her brow. ‘I mean, isn’t that sort of like self-defense?’
‘Yeah, but she wasn’t defending herself, dum-dum,’ Connie says, hauling the paper closer to her face to study the article more carefully. I watch her lips move as she reads.
‘All right, so it was Evie-defense, then,’ says Sunny, annoyed.
‘So …’ I manage at last, staring out at the towheaded boys who are playing on the rusted-out playground equipment a few hundred yards away, ‘what do we do now?’
Connie lowers the paper into her lap and Sunny snatches it from her, and then Connie lights a cigarette. I realize we’re all waiting for Connie to deliver some sort of announcement. Even Sunny, who only grabbed the paper to get back at Connie for her smart remark.
‘We don’t do anything,’ Connie says with a shrug. ‘I mean, Evie isn’t to blame for anything. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time when that creep decided to try something. Diane’s the one who got herself in a mess. I say Evie should keep her mouth shut tight, because who knows what the cops will say or do if they know she was there when he was killed. They could even try to pin it on her. The fuzz will always blame something on a girl from our neighborhood over some tea sipper.’
My mind flashes on Diane giving me clean clothes from her closet, gripping my hands as I stepped out onto her back porch. I think about her tidy bedroom, her sad eyes.
‘But, Connie,’ I start, and I realize my voice is shaking. Connie’s word has always been law, and now that she’s back from the state school, that fact seems more real than ever. ‘I explained it all to you. How it all happened. Diane probably saved my life. Or saved me from something terrible at the very least. Isn’t that worth something?’ I take a deep breath and continue. ‘Look, I’m not wild that some rich kid defended me better than I can defend myself. And I’m not saying we become her best friends. But I am saying we owe it to her to at least look out for her.’