Surely he was joking. This was that dark Swedish humor, borne of a culture that had drinking songs about drowning a mother-in-law.
But one look at his face made it clear: this was no joke.
“This is a real thing, isn’t it?”
He nodded.
“Tell me about it.”
“Some people get it after an injury. Other people are born with it. I had an uncle with it, so it’s genetic for me. I’ve had it all my life but you come up with ways to compensate. Fake your way through interactions with people you don’t know well. Even with people you do know.”
Shock rolled through her, quickly chased by guilt. She didn’t completely understand what had happened but she knew this much: this mess was all her fault.
“Erik, I can’t believe I was so harsh on you. I thought you were just another inconsiderate jock who wham-banged without a thought to anyone’s feelings. And now you’re telling me—” She covered her mouth, the enormity of how she had treated him coming on full force.
The man had a medical condition!
“Casey, it’s okay. You didn’t know. And I had no idea that was the problem between us. If I’d known it was because I didn’t recognize you, because what’s wrong with me hurt you, I would have done something about it sooner.”
She shook her head. “What’s wrong with you? There’s nothing wrong with you! I should have come clean instead of acting like a spurned lover.”
She stood, feeling unsteady and incredibly foolish. She had been so awful to him and now she wasn’t sure she could ever make it up to him.
“Casey …”
“I’ll be back in a sec—” The last syllable was smothered by a sob as she ran to the bathroom.
What the hell just happened?
Erik shouldn’t have said anything. He merely wanted her to know that he could never forget her, not really. That it was his fault they were in this weird situation. She needn’t feel any guilt about this whatsoever.
“Any words of advice, Keanu?”
Taking on the mantle of his owner’s disapproval, the cat refused to give him the time of day.
“I agree. It’s a tough one.”
After waiting a couple of minutes with no sign of Casey, he knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah-yes, I’m fine. Go back to lunch. I’ll just be a second.”
He waited a few seconds, then placed his ear to the door. Sniffling sounds came through.
“Are you crying?”
“No, not at all.” It definitely sounded teary.
“Could you open the door, please?”
“Just a moment.”
“Now, Casey.”
Two seconds later, the door was unlocked but remained closed. He took it as an invitation and turned the knob.
She stood by the sink, tissue in hand, eyes watery and red-rimmed.
“I’m fine. Really. I’m—”
He took her in his arms and wrapped her up like a gift. A few seconds ticked by while he let himself enjoy this—not her despair, just holding her close. She felt so, so good against him.
She peeked up at him. “Happy holidays?”
He chuckled. “This is how you usually celebrate?”
“Oh, yeah. Great food and drinking songs, followed by a meltdown that maneuvers me into the embrace of a hot hockey hunk.”
“We’ll have to call around and see if we can find one for you.”
She leaned her forehead on his chest. “I’m such a mess. I’m sorry.”
“You know, you’re going to have to stop apologizing. Perhaps we can both stop and just move on. I screwed up. You screwed up. But now we’re here and it’s …”
“It’s …”
“Better than I could have dreamed.”
She peered at him. Sniffed again. “Who are you?”
“Just Erik Jorgenson, goaltender for the Chicago Rebels, sometimes not the most thoughtful of people but my heart is in the right place, I think. I like you, Casey. I liked you when you were Coco and I liked you when you didn’t like me and I like you when you’re happy and when you’re sad.”
“What about when I’m … in the mood?”
Oh, he especially liked her then. But he wouldn’t take advantage. She was feeling raw after what he had told her, maybe even … grateful.
“In the mood for dessert? Sure.”
She kissed him, the sweetest treat he could have imagined. And he could imagine a lot.
He didn’t mean to moan or curl his tongue around hers or grab her perfect ass, but all those things happened. Her fingers tunneled through his hair as she held him fast to her lips. In two seconds, he had her on the vanity, his body rocking and rolling between her thighs. He was desperate for her, panting for relief.
He yanked back and held her firm with his hands on her hips.
“What’s wrong?”
Looking at her kiss-stung lips, lust-stoked pupils, and high color, only one response came to mind: nothing. This is perfect. You are perfect.
But his dick was not the boss of him. “We need to slow down.”
“We do?”
“Casey, I just told you something about me, something that I don’t tell just anyone. And you got upset because you felt you had done me wrong. You didn’t, but I saw how you reacted and now you might want to … make up for that somehow.” He rubbed a hand over his painful erection, the one he had been sporting since he ran into her at Rebels HQ last night. “I want nothing more than to bury my cock inside you, feel you tight around me, bring you off until you scream—”
“Then, do it.”
“Not while you’re upset. Not until you’re sure you don’t feel you have to apologize with your beautiful body.”
“I don’t. I mean, I don’t feel like that.”
He shrugged, though it actually hurt his dick to do so. “I need to put the food away and tidy up. Maybe you could choose something to watch on Netflix?”
“Netflix and chill, Erik?” She gave him a wicked grin. “Knew we’d get there.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter, Casey Higgins.” He moved closer and rubbed his thumbs under her eyes. “Are you still upset?”
“Yes, but for a completely different reason,” she grumbled.
He kissed her nose, then her cheekbones, then each closed eye before finishing with a light press to her lips. Anything more and he might not be responsible for his actions.
“What’s that sound?” she murmured.
My heart fighting to get out of my chest. Just the usual around you.
“I think it’s your phone?”
She was right. “Come on, I want you to meet someone.”
10
Erik picked up his phone and hit the accept button for the call. With his other hand, he held hers tight. Like so much with Erik, it was adorable.
“Mamma!” Followed by a string of fast-talking Swedish. He sat on the sofa, bringing Casey with him. She tried to stay out of the camera’s range, but he was having none of it.
“This is Casey, Mamma. She came over for Julafton.”
A blond woman with Erik’s eyes smiled back from the screen. “Oh, hello! It’s so nice to meet you.”