“Baby? What’s wrong? Is it not the right kind?” Panic filled his voice as he crouched in front of her, placing his hands on her thighs.
“No, what are you talking about? It doesn’t matter what kind it is. Did you buy them for me?”
“Well, I didn’t buy them for me,” he told her, looking uncomfortable.
“But you were avoiding me. I didn’t think you liked me.”
“Oh, Lucie. I’ve never disliked you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
He sighed, then took the mug away, setting it down on the floor. Cupping her face between his hands, he drew her down so he could kiss her. Butterflies filled her tummy. The light kiss became firmer, and his tongue ran over her lips until she opened her mouth. She let out a small noise of pleasure and she slipped off the couch into his lap.
He drew back and stared down at her. For a moment, she thought he would tell her that he’d made a mistake. That he didn’t mean any of it. He didn’t want her. Instead, he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her again. She put her hands on his shoulders and just held on.
This kiss was like nothing she’d ever felt before. Her entire body grew hot, her clit throbbed.
When he pulled back, he was panting heavily as well. He leaned his forehead against hers. “This isn’t the time.”
She wasn’t sure if he was speaking to her or himself.
“Why not?”
“Because I need to take care of you right now. You nearly died, baby. Do you get that?”
“I know.”
“No, do you actually get that? Really? Because what just happened isn’t acceptable. Not to me. Because if we’re going to do this, you and me, if that’s what you want, then you cannot pull this crap where you don’t take care of your own safety. Do you understand me?”
She stared into his eyes, saw the pain in there. The fear. And guilt flooded her.
“Do you want to do this with me? Do you feel something for me?” he asked her.
“Yes. Yes, of course I do. I love you, Atticus. I’m not even sure when it happened, but I do. You’re all I can think about. This past week, I’ve felt ill not seeing you or talking to you. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep. I just . . . I couldn’t stand that you were upset with me.” Another sob.
“Hush, girl. Hush. I’m not upset with you. There is nothing that you have done wrong, understand me? Well, other than driving through a freaking snowstorm. Or getting up on a ladder when you’re scared of heights. Or not taking care of your health. I’ve noticed how little you sleep. Most of the time, your lights are still on after midnight.”
“How do you know that?” she asked.
“Daddy knows everything.”
Her mouth opened, then closed. She hadn’t expected him to say that.
“You want to be my Little, baby? I’ll warn you, I can be bossy and over-protective. If you’re naughty, you can expect to end up over my knee. If you agree to this, then you’ll be getting your butt spanked for being so reckless with your safety.”
Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t think that’s fair. You can’t spank me for stuff I’ve done in the past.”
“It was just a few hours ago. And it wasn’t something small. You endangered yourself. That is never going to be allowed. Ever. You cannot do that ever again.”
That fear was back in his face. And she swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I won’t, Daddy. I promise. I won’t drive in a snowstorm again.”
“Damn straight,” he muttered. “You’ll be lucky if you’re ever allowed to drive anywhere alone again.”
She went to protest, then remembered what he said about Gemma. He lifted her back onto the sofa and tucked the blankets around her.
“I’m all right, Daddy,” she told him softly.
“You nearly died. You could have frozen to death. Your head injury might have been worse than you expected. You could have gotten disorientated and wandered off into the woods. Anything could have happened to you.”
She put her hand over his. “But it didn’t. You saved me.”
“Sometimes, you can’t always save the person you love. Sometimes you’re too late.”
“Is that what happened with Gemma?” she whispered.
He grabbed her hot chocolate and handed it to her. “Drink.”
She took a sip, watching him carefully as he rose to put another log on the fire. Then he came and sat beside her.
“Not exactly. She was a lawyer. We’d been together since college. Got married on a beach in Hawaii. Thought we’d be together forever. She had a big trial coming up, and she’d been working long hours. I didn’t like it, but I got caught up in my own work. I was a stockbroker. We hadn’t seen each other much in weeks. She . . . she fell asleep driving home and crashed. She was dead before the paramedics even arrived on the scene.”
“Oh no. Oh, Atticus, I’m so sorry,” she told him. She put the cup down again to wrap her arms around him.
“Drink your hot chocolate,” he said gruffly. “We need to get you warm.”
“You know the thing that warms me up?”
“What?”
“You.”
He stared over at her. She licked her lips, wondering if he was going to push her away. Instead, he opened his arms to her. She sighed in relief then climbed into his lap, slowly, since her body was still sore. Facing him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against him.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Because she knew that’s what he’d been thinking. He took everything on his broad shoulders.
“I should have been keeping a closer eye on her. Should have been spending more time at home. What did it matter how much fucking money I made if I couldn’t keep my own wife safe?”
“Oh, Atticus. It was an accident. Obviously, I didn’t know her, but do you really think she’d want you blaming yourself?”
He sighed. “I know she wouldn’t. Everyone tells me that. But I haven’t been able to get rid of the guilt. I sold everything and just took off for a while, traveled around. Didn’t do much except mourn her. I was filled with regret and anger. Over how that could happen, how I could let her get that tired, that I didn’t take care of her.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. I’m certain you took really good care of her.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t think I’d find anyone else. Didn’t think I deserved to. And then Rocky finally convinced me to move to this town in Wyoming. I saw this cabin for sale and bought it. Thought I’d live out my life in peace and quiet.”
She winced. “And then I came along, ruining all that peace and quiet.”
Grasping hold of her chin, he tilted her face up. “And then you came along, bringing sunshine into my dull existence.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he replied firmly. “I’m sorry I was an asshole. Here you were, young and happy and carefree. And you were making me feel things I didn’t think I deserved to feel.”
“Did you feel like you were betraying Gemma?” she whispered.
“Yeah, I guess I did. So I kept pushing you away. That day that you left here after the photo frame broke, I should have run after you and told you how I felt. But I just needed to get my head on straight.”