Totally a butler, I thought. Even though he hadn’t responded when I asked for a phone, he’d come back to my room a few minutes later with an old-fashioned land-line phone, plugged it into the wall, and shuffled back outside.
Thankfully, I remembered Trinity’s number and gave her a call once I was alone again. I was hoping for some much needed advice on how I should move forward. Being the maniac she was, Trinity had insisted on coming over instead of speaking over the phone like a normal person. I tried to fight her about it, realized I was wasting my time, and got the address of Sebastian’s place from Dr. Willows.
There was nothing I could really do but wait for Trinity to arrive.
I glanced at the time and saw it had somehow only been about four or five hours since I first woke up in this room. Everything before this morning still felt fuzzy and dreamlike. I had a sense that I’d be thinking straight again soon, though. I also was beginning to suspect my headache and forgetfulness probably had more to do with waking up in a strange place and not getting enough sleep than falling on my face.
Unfortunately for me, a clear head just let me see how deep in the shitter I was. I rubbed my hands across my face and tried to shake it all off like a dog getting out of the pool. I could handle this. Was it weird? Definitely. Was it the end of the world? Definitely not. Besides, I’d seen a writer’s podcast once that said authors should be grateful for challenges. It all fuels the mental library. Or something like that.
The door to my room swung open, revealing Sebastian, who was leading Trinity in by the arm. Neither of them looked amused by the situation.
“This one says she knows you?” he asked.
Trinity shook loose from his grasp, glaring at him. “This one told you her name, asshole.”
Sebastian ignored her, waiting for my response.
“That’s my best friend, Trinity. Can we have a little privacy?”
“How did she find my house?”
“I asked Dr. Willows for the address and gave it to her,” I said.
His face went hard, jaw flexing. “I need to speak with Dr. Willows about giving out my address.” He was gone from the doorway as quick as he’d come.
“He’s just as charming as he came off at the conference,” Trinity muttered. She rubbed at her arm where he’d been holding her. “So how do I bust you out of here?” she asked, kneeling beside me on the bed so our eyes were level. She lowered her voice to a hushed whisper. “I think if I get the jump on that big bastard, I could get my arms around his neck. Then you take him in the knees. Once he’s down we stomp his balls and run for it.”
“Or,” I said, eyebrows raised. “I ask my best friend for advice on the crazy offer he made me.”
When I finished explaining his proposal, Trinity still looked like she was considering a sneak attack. She tapped her chin. “It sounds suspicious.”
“Yeah, I know. But having a free place to stay would be nice.”
“Assuming he doesn’t put you in a giant pickle jar to add to his collection.”
I sputtered out a surprised laugh. “A giant pickle jar? That’s what you come up with?”
“Side note… Why did pickled cucumbers get the honors of just being called a ‘pickle.’ If he picked you, then you’d be a pickled ‘Kenzie.’ Or if you pickle cabbage, it’s ‘pickled cabbage.’ But cucumbers? Just a ‘pickle.’”
“Uh, I’m not sure,” I said. “But I’m also not sure that’s anywhere near the top of my priority list right now.”
“Right. Because you’re in quite the pickle…” Trinity stared at me expectantly like a proud father who had just made a terrible joke to one of his kids.
I glared but couldn’t help smiling at the look on her face. “I think I’m going to do it. But I wanted to give you a chance to talk me out of it.”
“Oh, how gracious of you. When have I ever been able to talk you out of anything in your entire life? You’re the most bullheaded, stubborn person I know.”
“Don’t spare my feelings or anything,” I muttered.
“Hey, who tried to tell you it was a bad idea to go throw your coffee at Sebastian when you found out he had a book signing nearby?”
I folded my arms. “And who was wrong?”
“Excuse me?” Trinity said, standing up and gaping. “What part of it wasn’t a bad idea? You’re in some dude’s mansion, probably just ripening up a little more until he decides it’s the sacred picklin’ hour.” She punctuated the last part with a sarcastic little upward pump of her fist across her body
“I got a job offer, didn’t I?”
“Normal jobs pay money. He’s not offering you money. It’s like he only cares about keeping you around. Last time I checked, that qualifies as creepy. Not to mention it’s exactly how someone would treat a cucumber they were planning to pickle.”
“Well, what’s the worst that could really happen? And don’t say murder.”
“Murder,” Trinity deadpanned.
I rolled my eyes. “He’s not going to murder me. If he was, he could’ve done it already.”
“You have really set the bar for trust so high, Kenzie. It’s remarkable. Maybe he wants to put you in some weird millionaire hedge maze and make you fight for your life. Or maybe he’s got a secret basement in this place where he’ll chain you up and make you drink milk out of baby bottles. Writers are weird, you know.”
“Offense taken. And if your only argument for passing on this is the potential for murder, well, consider me unconvinced.”
“And consider me unsurprised.”
The door opened and Sebastian was back, swallowing up the entire door frame. He regarded both of us calmly. “I heard raised voices.”
“Because my friend is an idiot,” Trinity said sweetly. “She doesn’t seem to think she’s in danger of being chopped into little pieces by you and kept in the fridge.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows drew together. “Who would look after Mr. Meatball if I chopped her up?”
Trinity snapped her head back to bulge her eyes at me, but all I could do was laugh. In that moment, Sebastian’s gaze slid to mine, and I could’ve sworn a mutual flicker of amusement at Trinity’s expense passed between us.
Maybe he wasn’t completely evil. Maybe he was just mostly evil. Mostly a bastard. It was like my mom’s dog, Ladybug. Every few weeks, he’d lash out and bite somebody for no particular reason. Ladybug made you live in fear for your life, and you never forgot where that little asshole was. But every once in a while he’d roll on his back and ask for a belly rub. Even though there was a distinct chance you were about to get bitten if you took the bait, you couldn’t help rubbing that belly.
Trinity grimaced. “Why are you looking at him like that?”
“What?” I asked. “I wasn’t looking at him.”
“You were,” Sebastian said.
“How about you both leave,” I snapped.
Trinity tilted her head. “I just got here.”
“I was perfectly happy to talk on the phone. It’s not my fault you had to drive over instead.”
“When my friend gets held captive in evil mansions, I kinda come to her rescue. Sue me.”