I chuckle, facing my palms toward her. “Sorry, sorry.”
“Dude, she isn’t going to sleep with you!” an overweight and balding man across the bar shouts. “We need another round, and my wife is up for a threesome if you want to get laid.”
Grace, who just took her first drink of my delicious margarita, spits it out at the man’s remark. “Did he really say that?”
Lola snorts, jerking her head toward the man, now joined by his thin, red-haired wife, and they’re making out. “If you can’t sleep with me, might as well bang a middle-aged couple.”
“Piss off,” I grumble. “That just shows how many people want me.” I hook a thumb toward myself.
“A man wants to watch you fuck his wife.” She chews on the tip of her red nail, hiding a smile. “That won’t make me jealous.”
“Eh, I’m declining their offer, but if you ever reconcile with Callum, I’m up for it. He can watch the two of us together.”
She dramatically gags. “You just stated two things that will never happen.”
“Your loss, Name Swapper.” I slap the bar. “Now, I’ll be back to hear you admit that’s the best drink you’ve ever had. Onion rings and wings, coming right up.”
“Just say you can’t go,” Georgia tells Lola. “Blame it on cramps. The flu. The universe is in retrograde.”
I pause mid-pour, ready to eavesdrop on my next Lola conversation. It seems to be a new hobby of mine. Not one of the conversations I’ve snooped on of hers has been boring. I help a customer, peek a glance at Lola, pour a drink, sneak a stare at Lola. She coincides with every job duty tonight.
They’ve devoured their food, and for someone only mildly impressed with my margarita, Lola sure had no problem ordering another round.
Lola groans. “He’ll make some speech about being present if I want to be in charge someday.” She knocks back the remainder of her margarita.
Grace sighs, sliding her straw in and out of her glass. “Let’s brainstorm on excuses for you to bail.”
“The only excuses I have are death or hospitalization.” Lola throws her head back before jerking it up suddenly, as if a thought hit her. She playfully smacks Grace’s shoulder. “Break my foot. Use the stool.”
“What?” Grace gapes at her. “You want me to cause bodily harm to get you out of a work social?”
Georgia shakes her head. “That wouldn’t work. He’d tell her to grab crutches and not be late.”
Deciding it’s my time to shine, I finish the drink I was making, pass it to the customer, and walk to them. “What are you trying to dodge?”
“Nothing,” Lola answers, waving me away.
I stay put. “I’m the king of dodging shit.” I press a hand to my chest. “Tell me what it is, and I’ll give you an escape plan.”
Lola half-shrugs. “Just some stupid work thing.”
I crack a smile. “I’m sure being the Princess of Darkness is a hard job.”
She snatches her napkin and tosses it at me. “Funny.”
“What’s the deal?” Propping my elbows onto the bar, I lean into her space. “Why don’t you want to go? Do they make you grow horns during the initiation into hell? I’d probably want to skip out on that day too.”
She grins, half-shrugging. “If that were the case, I’d go so that I could find a demon to haunt you.”
“Please make sure she’s hot.” Tingles shoot up my neck as I move in closer, taking in the sweet smell of her perfume. It’s sexy and bold, just like her. “What’s so bad about it?”
“It always ends up being a big couples thing.” Lola frowns before slapping both of her friends’ arms. “And these two have other plans because they’re bad friends at the moment.”
“Call Callum,” I suggest. “You have his number memorized … or I can do it for you? We’ve chatted before. We’ll exchange Lola horror stories.”
“He’ll be there,” Lola says. “And most likely with some random date he found the night before.”
“Whoa, you work with your ex?” I guess I’m the only one with the don’t shit where you eat rule.
Lola massages her temples. “Unfortunately.”
“Rookie mistake, Lola.” I shake my head as if I were her coach and she just lost a game. “Rookie mistake.”
She scowls at me. “Like you haven’t slept with anyone you work with.”
Just like she wants to dodge that event, I avoid that comment and don’t answer.
I slide my elbows off the bar and stand straight. “I’ll go with you. I’ll be your date.”
Lola blinks at me. “What?”
I’m as surprised as she is at my date offer. I’m not a man who meets coworkers, families, friends, any of that shit. It’s not like I’d ever see them again, so it’s pointless.
Georgia perks up in excitement as if she were five and it was Christmas. “That would stick it to Callum.”
I snap my fingers, unsure of why I’m not telling them I was only kidding. “Awesome point.”
Lola eyes me suspiciously.
My gaze doesn’t leave hers. “I make for a great fake date, I promise.”
“Is this something you’ve done before?” Lola clips a loose strand of hair behind her ear while eyeing me in uncertainty. “You seem pretty confident in yourself.”
“I usually charge for my services”—I pause and fake bow—“but for you, I’ll make an exception.”
She stares at me deep as if attempting to read my mind. “You’re crazy.”
“Just offering my services. Take it or leave it. It’s up to you.” I smirk at her and walk away.
Chapter Six
Lola
I’m considering having a man pretend to be my boyfriend.
What is wrong with me?
A responsible adult would suck it up and go solo, but I’ve never been a fan of my father’s work events. And it’s not that I can’t get a date. I don’t want one.
Dating apps, Snapchat, and website after website offering ninety-day trials to find your perfect match or your money back have made dating a nightmare. If Silas is comfortable with playing pretend boyfriend, why not? He’s fun, and he won’t try to date me afterward.
I nearly fell off my stool when he suggested the idea. After taming my shock, I pulled myself together and played it cool. In the back of my mind, I knew I’d take him up on his offer.
I pick up my phone to text him but remember what he told me.
Call. Don’t text.
Giving me a taste of my own medicine.
It rings twice before a boasting voice answers, “Anger Management Hotline. How may I assist you today?”
I’m quiet for a moment, replaying the words in my mind.
“Hello?” the man says. “Is someone there, or are you in the process of sucker punching a guy, breaking a poor man’s heart, or kicking puppies?”
I laugh. “Is that the best you’ve got?”