A ragged roar of pleasure rips from my throat as my entire body seizes with my orgasm. Hot cum drenches our stomachs between us, creating the slick lubricant for him to find his own way to ecstasy. He cries out in what can only be described as shock a second before his seed gushes out of him, soaking us and mixing with mine. His movements slow to a stop as his penetrating stare slices through me like a blade, flaying me before him.
“Get off me,” I whisper. “Get the fuck off me.”
His body tenses at my words, but he doesn’t listen. No surprise there. He reaches for his discarded shirt and then proceeds to unpin me, resting on his side next to me. I hiss when he swipes his shirt over my cock, cleaning the combined cum off. His movements are almost sweet as he cleans the rest off of me and then himself.
I’m so confused.
A mixture of disgust and regret churns in my gut, souring the alcohol and threatening to make it reappear. Acid burns my esophagus.
What the fuck did we just do?
It’s Dragon, for God’s sake.
But, for as much as I hate him, I don’t hate his mouth or his cock or his touch. I don’t hate the way his green eyes study me with sharp intelligence as though he can peer inside my brain right now. I feel exposed and ruined and raw. Tears burn at my eyes while my bottom lip wobbles. I bite down on it to keep the sob locked in my throat.
“Please leave me alone,” I beg, one of the stupid tears escaping and racing down my temple. “Please.” And because it worked to piss him off before, I whisper his name, “Chase.”
His emerald eyes harden into stone and his jaw clenches. Even in his fury, he’s a beautiful sight to behold. I want him to recoil away from me. I need him to because my heart is in agony right now.
He raises a hand, causing me to flinch. Then his thumb swipes away the tear. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Baby Prospect.”
But he does just that.
Leaves me alone.
Slides off the bed, revealing his toned ass and muscular thighs to me, and saunters into the bathroom. The shower starts back up again as a chill sweeps over my naked flesh. I blink away my daze, quickly scrambling to get my boxers back on. After I throw my T-shirt on too, I bury myself under the blanket, hoping to provide as many layers of protection as I can between us.
I hate Dragon with all that is in me.
So why do I ache for him?
Why does it hurt now that I’m alone in this bed with nothing but my pitiful thoughts?
Whatever just happened between us can’t happen again. I won’t survive going down that path with Dragon. No fucking way. He’ll burn his way right through me. I’m papery thin as it is, barely managing to hold onto this life where I never feel as though I belong. All it’ll take is for his burn to singe one tiny corner of me. I’ll light up so fast, I’ll have no hope of stopping it. In the end, I’ll be nothing but ash.
I have to be strong.
Like the man I’m trying so hard to become.
I can do this.
I have to do this.
My life and sanity depend on it.
Dragon
I try to remember my life before Night Giant. Before he stole my innocence and made me his warped plaything. There was a time I had normal desires and wants. To love and be loved. To go to college and play ball. To make my parents proud.
All of it feels like a lost dream belonging to someone else.
My only dream now is to get my hands on that motherfucker so I can make him pay. I crave to slice and dice him. To cut his skin off inch by inch so he can feel one iota of the pain he caused me. I need to make him suffer.
Cracking my neck, I light up another cigarette. The soft click of the door behind me is my only tell I’m no longer alone. Katana, always in tune with my moods, sidles up beside me like a silent shadow. Immediately, the tension leaves my body and I can breathe easier. He’s always been the person who keeps me still when I feel as though I’m spinning out of control.
“You didn’t sleep much last night,” Katana muses, stealing my cigarette to take a drag. “Tossed and turned a lot.”
Like in the beginning.
After my first escape. Back before Koyn invited us into his home and club. Every night back then was like drowning. I struggled to stay afloat when my thoughts were like anchors pulling me down. So often, Katana would curl up behind me and simply wrap his warmth and safety around me like a blanket. He’ll always be the soothing presence in my world.
“A lot on my mind,” I grunt out, my stare on the horizon as the sun rises.
“Night Giant?”
“Yep.”
“And…”
I bristle because I’m not exactly eager to talk about what happened with Cove. I’m not even sure of it myself. All I know is I felt alive and whole and like the boy from my past. The fragile, innocent, trusting boy who walked right into the den of the devil. Those hot, frantic, stolen moments with Cove were like being given a morsel of my past. Greedily, I devoured it because I was so desperate in that moment for a glimpse of who I used to be. When reality set in, I realized the stupidity of letting my guard down.
I can’t ever be Chase again.
Chase got caught.
Chase got tortured and raped and wiped from existence.
Chase is dead to me.
An ache forms in my chest. Longing floods through me, making me yearn to open social media and seek out my brothers. The addiction is real. I can’t stop peeking in on them, making sure their lives are exactly as they should be. Normal. Boring. Simple. It’s more kernels of my past that I greedily snatch up.
But in the end, I’m standing here holding shards and pieces of a young man. I’ll never have him back in his entirety. Night Giant stole certain parts of me I’ll never get back. They’ll never be recovered. So instead of trying to rebuild who I used to be, I have to accept the man I am now. He might not be whole either, but he’s vicious and strong.
“It’s BP,” Katana says, his voice tight. “He has you all twisted up.”
I clench my jaw, grinding my teeth to dust so I don’t spill out a bunch of shit I’ll regret saying later. It was just one night. We got off. He’s still weak and fragile—something I’m tasked with protecting—and he still hates me. The alcohol changed the game, but if I know Cove, he’ll be full of stubborn bitchiness again today, keeping me at arms’ length where I belong.
“Anything from last night?” I demand, changing the subject.
Katana lets out a quiet sigh, fused with frustration. I know sometimes it bothers him that I don’t open up to him. It bothers me, but I can’t articulate some things. Cove is one of them.
“That girl,” Katana mutters, “that was getting beaten on?”
“I remember.”
“She came back. Said she didn’t want to say it in front of her boyfriend, but she knows where Corsetti might be.” He steals my cigarette again, taking another deep drag before blowing out a plume of smoke. “We should be able to wrangle him up easily enough tonight and take them back to Tulsa.”
This is good news, but I’m still filled with unease.
“Where?” I demand.
“A bar just a few miles away from here.”
“Let’s go.”
“We will. Tonight. Until then, we’re going to check in with Koyn and Bermuda. Research this bar a bit. You know we don’t go in half-cocked. That’s not the Koynakov way. Prez likes to do shit the smart way.”