Also, why did everything have to end in an argument? I was so tired of arguing.
Not that I minded how our arguments ended, because they all ended the same way.
The second I realized what we were doing, I gasped, and my eyes widened. The frown was ripped from my face, and I quickly glued on a huge smile that I did not feel.
A rushed whisper shot out of my mouth. “No, no, no, no, no.” But when he attempted to speak, I pressed my finger to his lips, squishing them lightly as I shushed him. My voice took on a gentle, serene tone. “Inside voices. We’re staying calm. We aren’t arguing. Everything’s good. We’re happy, we’re smiling, and we’re two adults just having a conversation. That’s all.” A strained laugh left me. “We’re having a good time.”
Vik watched me closely, and from the way his brow furrowed, I could tell he was confused by the sudden change in direction. “Why are you acting so weird?”
“I’m not.” My smile wavered but only slightly.
“You are.”
I shook my head, and my cheeks ached. “No, I’m not. I’m just trying to avoid conflict.”
“Why?” His heavy brow narrowed with suspicion. “You never have before.”
My brain-to-mouth filter stammered, and the honest to God truth was worse than any lie I could’ve come up with. “Because if we fight, we’ll kiss. And if we kiss, there is a strong possibility that you’ll end up with your hand in my panties. If that happens, I’m going to come and want you to mount me like a mutt stealing away with a thoroughbred. And that’s the situation I’m trying to avoid here.”
And there it was. I was so weary of the fighting that I didn’t even have the grace to blush.
Of all the things he expected to hear, I could tell it wasn’t the candid confession he just got. I know this because he lost a lot of the tension he wore in his shoulders and returned a smartass, “Why? Sounds like a good time had by all.”
It did.
My sob was purely internal.
It really did.
My faux smile fell. “I don’t want to fight.” I tried to sound composed, but my voice shook.
“But we’re so much better when we fight.” His hulking build came closer and closer, walking me backward until my ass hit the wall. A thrum of awareness went through me, and my heart stuttered. “Remember?”
Uh oh.
I was trapped.
Icy blue eyes held me prisoner as he explained in perfect calm, “I don’t want that.”
My gut sank. “You don’t want us to get along?”
I did not know how to unpack that.
The way he ran his thumb over his lips, leisurely, without hurry, had me wishing for a taste.
“No.” He shook his head, and I felt I might cry until he said, “I want your passion. I want my savage girl. I want you. In my car, in my bed, by my side. I want to be inside your head while I’m thrusting inside your body.” It felt like I’d taken a solid hit to the solar plexus as he went on, ruining me with every word. “More than a decade together and you think I’m just gonna let you go on your merry way because you’re having doubts? Not a chance.”
My kitty purred.
Well, shit. What was I supposed to say to that?
Vik reached up, focusing on the place by my temple, pushing a stray hair behind my ear. “We were happy once, and we’re gonna be happy again. I’m good with giving you time, so I’ll be doing that. But this thing that’s happening right now? It’s not a permanent situation.” He paused. “It’s always been you and me, Nas.”
He was right. It had been.
Somewhere deep inside me, I felt something crack when he said the words we had been saying to each other since the very beginning. “Forever and always.”
My mouth dry, I uttered quietly, “Don’t do this.”
Why couldn’t he just let it go? Let me go?
Vik licked his lips, looked me dead in the eye, and broke my heart. “You’ve been my girl since I was a boy, and I’ll be damned if we’re not holding hands on the day we meet our maker.”
Any fight I had left me with those quietly spoken words. And, fuck me, I wanted to cry. If it were possible for a heart to swoon dead away, mine just had.
I found it hard to breathe. My knees almost gave out.
With a groan, I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. “You can’t say that kind of stuff to me, Vik.” I lowered my hands and looked up at him, imploring. “If you keep saying things like that, I’ll never get over you.”
“Good.”
He moved so quickly I didn’t have time to react, and when he lowered his lips to mine, I’m ashamed to say I lost control.
We kissed like we fought. Mean, rough, and grasping for control.
Never breaking contact, I forced him back into a shelf, and the groceries on it shifted with a thud. His arms snaked around me as he ate at my mouth, one at my back, the other squeezing my ass hard, and it hurt so good. His tongue stroked mine, and my hips bucked. Vik growled into my mouth, and moaning, I reached up and gripped the front of his shirt, both pushing him away and pulling him closer to me.
He picked me up and pinned me against the wall. I hit the back of my head and winced. “Ow.”
“Sorry,” he panted into my mouth, then kissed me so deep, so desperately, that I swore for a single moment our souls merged.
The noises of clanging and banging and crashing sounded around us, and I found I didn’t care if we were making a scene.
My legs wrapped around him of their own accord, and his forearm hefted me higher, holding me up. Having been in this position so many times during the course of my life, I guess it was second nature. My panties were soaked through, and I might have been embarrassed had it not been for the thick, raging erection pressing up against my core.
I didn’t notice the change, but it was clear our kissing had grown softer, a gentler quality taking over, until the slow, wet kisses reminded me of Sunday morning lovemaking. Leisurely and full of feeling.
Tilting his hips, he rocked against me at the very same time his tongue dipped into my mouth, and I saw stars, very nearly coming on the spot.
And then it happened.
What are you doing, Nas?
The intrusive thought soured my mood and doused ice-cold water over my straining libido.
Sad and already mourning the loss of his mouth, I allowed him to kiss me a few seconds longer before I spoke against his lips. “Stop.”
Reluctantly, his kisses slowed, then came to a halt with a heavy sigh, and when he put his forehead to my shoulder, panting, I unconsciously reached up to stroke the back of his neck.
I loved this man. I loved him in a way no other could replicate. But unless he was willing to give me all of him, I couldn’t do this.
I deserved more.
He lifted his head, and his hooded gaze went to my swollen lips. As he opened his mouth to speak, a knock came from outside the pantry.
“Uh, guys?” It was Mina. “It kind of sounded like two racoons fighting in a trash can from out here.” She paused. “Is everything okay?”
Vik slowly let me down, studying my face as if trying to memorize every inch of it. My feet touched the floor, and I released the front of his Henley, smoothing my fingers over the now-scrunched material. When he stepped back, I wobbled on the spot, feeling awfully bereft of the warmth of his body.